August 6, 2006

Beautiful freak

Hiding from the sun.
Originally uploaded by Citizen Rob.

You're such a beautiful freak
I wish there were more just like you
Youre not like all of the others

And that is why I love you
Beautiful freak, beautiful freak
That is why I love you
Beautiful freak, beautiful freak

Some people think you have a problem
But that problem lies only with them
Just cause you are not like the others

But that is why I love you
Beautiful freak, beautiful freak
Yeah that is why I love you
Beautiful freak, beautiful freak

Too good for this world
But I hope you will stay
And Ill be here to see that you dont fade away

Youre such a beautiful freak
I bet you are flying inside
Dart down and then go for cover

And know that I
I love you
Beautiful freak,
You know that I
I love you
Beautiful freak, beautiful freak

-- Eels, "Beautiful Freak"


grammacello said...

Yeah, Schuyler's back!
I missed you!
SOOO beautiful, the hair.
I don't know why it works so well on a little girl but it does.
I bet your Daddy is pretty glad to see you!
Love, Grammacello

Anonymous said...

Love the song, love the picture.

Have you been having insomnia too?

Rhys said...

Beautiful! I am SO copying your hair color, Schuyler Bean!

Did she get a haircut since we last saw her? It looks she did in that pic. :)

Anonymous said...

Love the picture, love the hair color and the poem is wonderful except I hate the word Freak.

Robert Hudson said...

The word "freak" is the most important word in the song. Taking ownership of the words that are used to hurt people who are different is a powerful weapon.

Anonymous said...

One of my favorite songs...

Anonymous said...

I can understand that but I still don't like the word and I believe that we are all different in some way. It is such a hurtful word and no person, let alone a child should be called one.

Mrs. Mancuso said...

My gods, your girl is beautiful.

Meg said...

Rob, I love that philosophy! And those are great lyrics! I personally would love if someone dedicated that kind of song to me. As a kid, I didn't have anything that separated me from the other kids, not the way that Schuyler does. But I still felt different from them in a lot of ways, and I definitely grew to enjoy words like "different" and "dork" etc, because I felt like if those jerky kids weren't those things, then being those things was good. And today, my husband and I use "crazy" as a term of endearment for one another. I think Schuyler will probably feel the same way about the words she hears in those awesome Eels songs.

This is a poem that I loved as a kid, and still do to this day. Maybe you and Schuyler will like it, too:

by Julio Noboa Polanco

Let them be as flowers,
always watered, fed, guarded, admired, but harnessed to a pot of dirt.

I'd rather be a tall, ugly weed, clinging on cliffs, like an eagle wind-wavering above high, jagged rocks.

To have broken through the surface of stone, to live, to feel exposed to the madness of the vast, eternal sky.

To be swayed by the breezes of an acient sea, carrying my soul, my seed, beyond the mountains of time or into the abyss of the bizarre.

I'd rather be unseen, and if
then shunned by everyone,
than to be a pleasant-smelling flower, growing in clusters in the fertile valley, where they're praised, handled, and plucked
by greedy, human hands.

I'd rather smell of musty, green stench than of sweet, fragrant lilac.

If I could stand alone, strong and free, I'd rather be a tall, ugly weed.

Robert Hudson said...

I can understand that but I still don't like the word and I believe that we are all different in some way. It is such a hurtful word and no person, let alone a child should be called one.

And yet, I can tell you the last time I heard Schuyler get called a freak, and stupid, and crazy. It was by a little girl at the play area at the mall a few weeks ago, screaming it at Schuyler because my daugter had the nerve to refuse to be bullied. She was a freak who can't talk.

And Schuyler didn't cry, and she didn't back down. She got in that girl's face, six inches away, and did the only thing she could do, the only thing that God and bullshit fate have given her. She howled. And seeing the girl's shock and watching her take a step back, Schuyler smiled and went on with her play time.

Words are hurtful if you let them be. Schuyler is a freak. A beautiful freak. She's a freak, and she's broken, and she'll always be different but goddamn it all, she's going to be a broken freak on her own terms.

kris said...

Bravo, Rob, bravo.

And I LOVE the new hair...the cut and the color.

Does she like it short?

Robert Hudson said...

Meg, that poem is awesome.

Robert Hudson said...

She doesn't mind it short. She hates how much it hurts when it gets tangled, so it's certainly more comfortable.

kris said...

That *is* a great poem. Thanks for sharing it.

Glad she likes it short--it's spunky that way, though I was a kid who hated my hair in my face. Bobby pins and barrettes really didn't do the trick.

I think I need to go download some of this Eels music!

Erica said...

Rob - delurking for a moment to tell you how amazing you and your family are. Your blog has touched me so often. You convey your emotions so well; the post "I Just Want to Go With You" took my breath away. As did your tidbit in the comments above, about the girl at the mall who picked on her. It would be like a punch in the gut to see that happening to your child, but to see her reaction... bravo!

We all love our kids, but you just SAY it so well. And you obviously show it, too. Schuyler is so lucky to have the two of you for parents.

Anyway - just had to say all that. Thanks for sharing it all.

Anonymous said...

Still hoping & wishing for a hint on the product the fabulous Ms. S uses to achieve her flaming red. My 30th birthday isn't getting any farther away over here. Don't make me beg for fashion tips from Schuyler. Pleeeeeeeease don't make me beg ;)

Lara said...

Hello Cruel World, so this is you....

Hi Rob,

I found your blog because someone reading yours found mine....I have to say - not only am I a huge fan of "E" and 'The Eels" but I really enjoyed reading your blog! Keep up the good work!!!! I'll be sure to continue to tune in....



Anonymous said...

Glad your daughter stood up for herself, you taught her well. Did you howl along with her? Or was this one of those moments, where you have to let your child deal with the problem herself?

Anonymous said...

The impression I've always gotten from your writing is that Schuyler knows she's different, but views her differences with pride rather than shame. If this is the power that taking back words brings, we should all be lucky enough to be beautiful freaks.

Anonymous said...

I like it ...

Anonymous said...

When you are in Astoria,Oregon make it a point to stop in at Bellisma Hair Salon (503)325-2950
and have your hair done by Debra" She is awesome...