July 20, 2009

Pause


This is Serious Rob.
Originally uploaded by Citizen Rob
I've been somewhat absent from most of the online world for a short time now, and I guess I ought to post something about that. Not a word of explanation so much, because I'm not sure I can explain it this time more than any other. Really, I guess what I'm asking for is a bit of your indulgence.

For some reasons which are external but others no doubt on account of a familiar, tiny but reckless monster of my own, I am finding myself in kind of a dark place. If you've read my book or even this blog (or its online journal forefathers), you know that it's not the first time. You also know that I'll work my way through it, and take care of my personal and professional responsibilities as I do so. I've negotiated these waters before, through much worse storms.

I'm not much of a fan of those weeping, self-indulgent, never-ending depression posts on some blogs, and I know how very little you'd enjoy reading that sort of thing here. So I'll simply say that if I seem scarce for a few days, I hope you'll keep the faith a bit longer and be here when I come back. Because I always come back, and I do so renewed. And often with an amusing beard to show for it.

Thank you. I love you all, and shame on me for not telling you that more often.

74 comments:

Christopher said...

See you when you get back. Take care of yourself. I know you will take care of your family.

Jill said...

Do what you gotta do, Rob. Take care!

Lauri said...

I will be here when you come back..

Karen said...

We love you, too.

Kyla said...

No worries. We'll still be around.

Anonymous said...

Take care of yourself, Rob. Good to know you know you're gonna be all right. (Sounds like a bad reggae song). :-)

Tiffany said...

I'll still be around. Take care of yourself.

Jocelyn said...

I've missed reading your thoughts but completely understand. Looking forward to your next post.

Julia O'C said...

Been there.

Be kind to yourself, okay? Seriously. We'll all be here when you're ready to step back into your fancy pants.

Jennifer Good said...

Love and luck

kris said...

We'll be waiting. Hang in there and we'll see you soon.

Nicole P said...

We'll see you when you're back. Take care of yourself, Rob.

Tansasser said...

I've missed your posting as well, but look forward to reading more when the world is a little brighter for you.

suzanne said...

Feel better. Come back soon.

Niksmom said...

Sending good thoughts your way...

Joshua Howe said...

All the best, see you when you get back.

Josh

Christine G. said...

recharge, rebuild, rejuvenate. be well and enjoy some time off (says the woman who updates her own journal maybe once a month... she understands, dear heart.)

Pia said...

No need to apologize or explain... most people have their own tiny monsters of one sort or another. We are all just voyeurs on your and Schyuler's world. And I'll still be here when you come back. Until then...

StaceyEsq said...

Be kind to yourself, Rob. We'll all be here waiting for you when you feel well enough to return. For what it's worth, I think you're amazing and I've really come to adore your family. Be well.

Unknown said...

I'll also be here when you're back. I am glad you know how to take care of yourself & your family during these darker times. Blessings to you & your family. With love,

Anonymous said...

I get it, I really do.
You're in my reader, so as long you are willing to write, I'll be out here reading. Take care.

Sara said...

Good luck, and see you soon.

Anonymous said...

One foot in front of the other, Rob.

XXXOOO

M.R.

Annie B. said...

"There are some things you learn best in the calm and some in the storm." ~Willa Sibert Cather

Hang in there.

Omar said...

I am looking forward to the beard. :)

Anonymous said...

Been there. Just remember there are so many people out there who care about you! And your family! Be kind to yourself! :)

Bev Sykes said...

What everybody else said. You're very generous with your life, when the time is right, but it's YOUR life and the most important thing is to do whatever you have to do. We ain't going anywhere and readers can be very patient.

plankton said...

When you are ready, you'll return. If you are never ready, I'll miss you but that's my problem, not yours. Do what you have to do.

Anonymous said...

Take care of yourself. We'll be here when you're back.

Jill

Rachel said...

Sending love, hugs and smiles your way....

Erin said...

Take all the time you need and count me among those who will be here when you return. Take care of yourself.

Iselyahna said...

We'll all be here.

Had a dream the other night that I met you & Schuyler in a weird mall. That was interesting.

Navigating my own storms suck; best wishes that yours is a short and unmemorable one.

momsolop said...

Ditto to all of the above.
eileen

kris said...

i'll come back and check for months but don't be gone that long! take care.

adequatemom said...

We love you too, Rob. We'll be waiting for you - be well.

Enriquez Family said...

Hey I just found your blog. I am currently reading your book that you and Schuyler signed for my son Damon at the conference. It has been a fun book to read and we have so much to learn because we were just diagnosed with PMG at the convention! We also felt as we were with family and that we knew all those people forever! Hope you guys are there next year!

Rebecca said...

Rob,
You do so much for others, take the time to do for yourself and your family. We will be here whenever you come to talk with us again. Keeping you in my thoughs, Rebecca

Ocean View said...

Hey Rob, take good care of yourself and take your time to get better. I'll certainly be waiting for new posts and I hope that you will feel better very soon.
And thank you so much for the great book, this blog and for sharing the funny/touching/ interesting... stories about you and your family. See you soon!

amylia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

i'm excited for the beard. i miss you. ((hugs))

Robyn said...

Been there many times myself. Do what you need to do. We'll be here.
Robyn

Kathy W. said...

Love right back to you.

Anonymous said...

I had a dream about Schuyler too. She was talking up a storm.

Tobi said...

Do what you need to do, be who you need to be. We'll be here when you're ready.

R said...

Love you, too. Be well.

Erin_NV said...

you don't have to bare your soul, but please show us the facial hair. it's tradition.

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

Take the time you need Rob, we will all be here waiting for your return.

It's ironic that you post this right now, as I am about halfway through reading your book. I started this morning and can't put it down. I am laughing, crying, and sighing as I read it. I just finished the bridge scene, and am sad to hear you are there again.

I am sure I'll finish the book tonite, it is excellent. Thank you for sharing (the good AND the bad) your life with us!

Robert Hudson said...

I just finished the bridge scene, and am sad to hear you are there again.



Thank you. Fortunately, north Texas is very flat, so at least there's very little vertical temptation here...

Robert Hudson said...

i'm excited for the beard. i miss you. ((hugs))

"Excited" might be the wrong word. It usually ends up looking like I just need to exfoliate.

And thank you.

Leightongirl said...

Be well. And I agree, I'd like to see the beard when it arrives.

Anonymous said...

The world is a dark and hostile place where oafs and churls triumph and talented, deserving people such as yourself are trampled by the hooting, bestial horde, left to languish in obscurity before succumbing to a painful, lonely death.
You're right to feel despondent because eventually, everyone you love will die and everything you cherish will be destroyed. All your futile attempt to conquer your feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness have come to naught, as you knew they would.
Since you're too smart to believe in God and turning to Him for help, how about seeing a shrink and getting medicated?

-M- said...

Oh yes, those are the only two answers to depression: pray it away or drug it away. The Internet is full of stupid advice. Feel better soon, Rob.

l said...

Thinking good thoughts for you. I've been to that dark place too. Wishing you safe passage through it and to the other side of it.

Ozzie said...

Good luck smiting your demons- we will get to see this beard, yes?

Atkins said...

You're a fantastic writer whether you're writing.

Unknown said...

just keep swimming...

Shawna said...

Take your time. I, for one, am not going anywhere.

Samuel said...

Thanks for all your sharing... and there is a season for everything...

Certainly will be there when you return...

Anonymous said...

Just checking in to see if you are back. Not yet, evidently. That's OK.

Know that across the country (and around the world), there are people like me, who believe in your wisdom, insights, and humor enough to keep checking in with good wishes and encouragement. When I am depressed, I find joy in family, trees, ripe summer fruit (really, what a concept!) Hope your summer is filled with all this and more. We all look forward to having back the parts that you are kind enough to share with us.

Be well.
-e-

Anonymous said...

I reread your book since I needed my fix. Thinking of you often..


Laura

Kinzie said...

YES!! the BEARD! Bring it ON. Best wishes, Rob.

Danielle said...

I think you're faking it. All artsy and cool. And the beard.

Ha. If only I could say that with a straight face.

Katy said...

Hi Rob! I am organizing a little meetup for the parent of special needs kids--I call it the Holland Mafia. Anyway, you're in the area of the meetup, so I thought I'd tell you about it. You can get the details on my blog if you'd like. birdonthestreet on blogspot

Solcat said...

I'm treading those dark waters myself. Something along the lines of the chapter where you yelled out at a God you were damn sure didn't give a rat's ass anyway.
Navigating that loss of any type of faith alone hurts as much as the disillusionment..in your case, whatever your monsters are tormenting you with, you've got an awesome family (both real and online) who will wait patiently for you to regain your bearings or throw you a life line if necessary.
Maybe Schuyler can guest blog for you from time to time..she's like a little lighthouse :)

Willa said...

Just so you know, your absence has prompted me to finally pick up your book and read it because I was missing your and Schuyler's story. Bet you didn't know you were actually implementing some form of tough love marketing!

(Although, I did check it out from the library instead of purchasing it so I guess it's not affecting your bottom line ;))

Lots of love to the whole family!

Maddy said...

I'm in a 're-group' moment myself so I'll wish you and me both, a bit of luck in the hope we can rebuild the foundations.
Best wishes

Anonymous said...

Since you are not allowing comments on the most recent post: I thought it said "Medications in an Emergency".

SueM said...

You are missed.....

As I sit in the summer of the earth,

I think of you in the winter of your soul.

When you have fought your monsters and won,

we will be waiting.

Anonymous said...

Don't know what to say, except that I value your writing, your words, your perceptions. I hope that your "coldest day" is followed, not slowly, by a warmer one.

Your life has meaning, not just to those who know and love you, but also to a stranger like me (and, clearly, many others) who knows/know you only through your writing. I, too, will rejoice when you return.

Single Mom Seeking said...

Sweet Rob,
I'm finally catching up here... and sending you a big, warm hug. (Wow, you wrote this post on my birthday.)

As the others say: take your time, we miss you. Take care of yourself.

I'll be thinking about you this weekend, when I get a chance to catch up with Vicki Forman when she's up north. xoxo

Steph said...

In the abyss myself lately... I get it. We miss y'all! Busy Sunday?

We love you, too. <3

XiuZan said...

Hang in there. Even without your regular posts, I think of you and the family when I see your book on my shelf.

I've experienced the gray and I know it's not easy. You're all in my thoughts and I hope the fog lifts soon.

Em Best said...

For the coldest day of the year, I suggest a raincoat that has four sleeves. It can get you through all kinds of weather.

Anonymous said...

Most every morning I stared out the window
And I think about where you might be
Reading you letters that I’d like to send
If you would just send one to me
I miss you more than I missed you before
And where I’ll find comfort
God knows
Cause you left me
Just when I needed you most
You left me
Just when I needed you most.