November 4, 2008

Her world


In 2001, on the evening of September 11th, I sat in the dark while Julie cried and we both listened to the radio and the rumble of military jet fighters patrolling the skies of the east coast. I got up and went to Schuyler's room, scooped up my sleeping baby girl and brought her to sleep in our bed with us. And the thing I remember thinking was simply, "This is not the world I want my daughter to grow up in."

In the spring of 2003, on my lunch break, I walked into a cafeteria at the Yale Medical School with my friend Dana and sat, numb, as we watched the "shock & awe" bombing of Baghdad on CNN, surrounded by frightened students watching in near silence. And again, I thought of Schuyler, who was only months away from her monstrous diagnosis. I thought of her and the paranoid, grey world in which she was growing up, unaware of how much less certain it was soon to become for her. And again, it was not the world I wanted for her.

Tonight, twenty minutes ago, I watched the clock tick down to the polls closing on the west coast, and as soon as it hit zero, I saw the words on the screen as the networks pronounced Barack Obama the President-Elect of the United States. I watched the tears and laughter of people in Grant Park, white and black, as they watched history, REAL history being made. It wasn't just history stepping on them, squashing them under its cold boot like history has been doing since 2001. It was the history THEY made, the history that WE have made.

Now I sit here. I'm waiting for Barack Obama to come out and address the nation as the 44th president of the United States of America, and for the first time in the span of Schuyler's short life, I can say it, without hesitation and with a heart filled with anticipation and a sense of relief and rescue and possibility.

THIS is the world I want for my daughter. This one.

39 comments:

Quixotia said...

Oh, jeez, I just got chills down my spine. This one, absolutely - I am right there with you.

Anonymous said...

Amen, hugs, and hallelujah!!!

Unknown said...

This world? A world where Barack Hussein Obama (terrorist) is going to put a turban on his head on January 20 and move into the White House with William Ayers and start auctioning off America?

Oh God, sorry. The Kansan in me was speaking for a second there.

I couldn't agree more. Earlier tonight I realized the funk I've felt since 9/11 is gone. I haven't felt optimistic about the presidency (except when watching West Wing dvd's) since then. This is a good day.

Texas Library Lady said...

All I can say is Amen. We did it.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, make me cry, Rob. A beautiful post.

Anonymous said...

As if I haven't cried enough tears tonight. What an amazing, awe-inspiring, night.

Anonymous said...

I sat with my 17 year old daughter tonight and watched Obama make history. I know she'll remember this for the rest of her life. I reminded her that around the time I was born, Barack Obama could not use the same bathroom as whites. I want her to realize exactly what this means, but in a way, I'm happy that she has no idea what that was like. Hers should be the generation that appreciates this historic event and yet wonders what all the fuss is about.

Lisa said...

My husband and I broke out the champagne as soon as the irreversible count as in. Outside of newsreel footage of JFK (I'm 47 and he's 53), we agreed that nobody else has ever made us feel the way our new President elect does. Oh man, I am going out on a limb and allowing myself this hope...this happiness.

Anonymous said...

I'm bawling my eyes out with happiness and no words to express how happy I am for this brighter future for myself, my daughter - for everyone I know and love - including you and Julie and Schulyer. This is truly a monumental moment and a turning point in our history as a country. I'm so happy to be sharing this moment with you in the wee hours of November 5th, 2008.

abby said...

Amen. And a lovely, inclusive, presidential (dare I say even inaugural) speech it was. I don't recall a national level acceptance speech that referenced the significance of not only including people of color and women as well as men but also gays and people with disabilities. (Now if they could convince W to move out a bit early).

Only bittersweet note for me is that Prop 8 looks likely to pass and similar measures passed in Florida and Arizona. Maybe someday there will be true equality in the US for everyone, and I like to think that today is a start. But we still have some work to do.

Anonymous said...

Must say I agree.
Being Canadian, my teenaged sons still took great interest in this election and watched right til the end. Yet neither showed any interest in our own recent election. huh!

Anonymous said...

Yes we can.

Julia O'C said...

For the first time in a long time, I feel proud to be American.
Yes, we *did*.

:) said...

Me too.

Anonymous said...

Well, I sure hope that it works out the way you all predict. I'm not so certain of that....but I hope.

Erin said...

I am Canadian, but my Great Grandparents came to the United States through Ellis Island with little more then what they could carry as they left home. Last night would have made them so proud, last night is why they left home and all they knew to start a new life in a place where greater things were possible for all people.

Obama is going to be sworn in during the 100th anniversary year of the NAACP. I can't get over how fantastic a morning this is.

Anonymous said...

It felt so surreal looking at the little filled-in circle on my ballot yesterday (yeah, no fancy computer voting where I live). All of those emotional, monumental months came down to this one little bubble... I triple-checked my ballot before turning it in.

And then last night when they announced Obama took my state - Ohio - I swear my heart stopped for a second.

I'm wondering if I'll ever stop getting goosebumps or tears in my eyes when I hear 'Barack Obama is the next President of the United States.' I hope not.

Tammy said...

Yes we can. Never have I ever felt the hope and pride that is in my heart today for my country. For my children.

Erin said...

I could not agree more, Rob. Yesterday, as I walked to the polls in the unseasonably warm Wisconsin fall weather, leaves falling all around, smiling at my neighbors and proudly wearing my Obama pins, I felt a surge of hope like nothing I've ever experienced. And then it occurred to me.

By the time of the next presidential election, I'll be a Mom (fingers crossed). And I realized I was less afraid of that--of bringing a child into this weird world--in the world I was walking in at that moment.

Leightongirl said...

I believe we all have Stockholm syndrome.

Unknown said...

There's a reason why we're seriously considering using the name "Hope" somewhere in our new daughter's name. She's due around New Year's, and I thank my stars that she will only live a few of her first days before Obama is sworn in.

Yes we can, yes we did and YES WE WILL.

Anonymous said...

EXACTLY! I never really believed Obama would be elected -- I'm still pinching myself -- but my three year old will grow up in a world where a black man IS president. ANYTHING is possible in her world. It's a beautiful day!! -- stellasmom

Anonymous said...

What a great way to sum it up...Just finished your book after being a long time lurker on your blog. It confirmed everything I already knew, what a great kid Schuyler is and what great parents she had.

Peace

Anonymous said...

He is an amazing man. i have renewed hope and respect of the USA. :)

MichelleB said...

Your daughter will be able to say she was there when history was made!

Me and my boyfriend watched the news all night too. After they said Obama won, my boyfriend proposed to me with a gorgeous diamond engagement ring from www.idonowidont.com so it was a insanely special day for us as well as for America.

Jennifer Good said...

YES WE CAN!!!!! Here's to a better America!!!! I just watched his speech in tears and I remembered I needed to hear your opinion.

I still can't believe it. In a happy shocked sort of way. I never thought that in my parents' or grandmother's lifetime that I would see this. And now it's happening! Happened. My bosses are upset, because they claim we're going down because we're a small business and Obama is gonna kill them off (one boss compared him to Hilter) But I don't think they, or anyother whiner can see how monumental this is for the country. Really? Change is happening and I guess they just can't take it. I'm witnessing history. We're witnessing a monumental change in this world...Sorry, I just can't wrap my head around this.

For the first time in eight years, I have hope for a better country. So here's to Obama, a better future, and for hope.

http://www.palinaspresident.us/ Been here? It's changed now. And it's amazing.

I honestly haven't felt good things about this country for ten years. Today I feel great to be an American, and feel so good about the future.

Anonymous said...

I got chills all OVER my body, reading what you wrote. Today, it's the first day of the rest of our lives. And it's a good day.

Kelley O

Anonymous said...

I haven't written about it online because it seems kind of silly for a Canadian to say this, but I too felt that Obama's victory gave this huge sense of hope for the future of the world. Despite the fact that most Canadians expect him to have a slightly negative effect on trade between our countries (he's talked about re-visiting NAFTA, for instance), we have still overwhelmingly been rooting for him up here.

kris said...

Rob, as always, you say it better than I ever could. Hope trumps fear, and we have a president willing to talk to EVERYONE, to hear all the voices, even the ones that disagree. 26 hours later and I'm still overwhelmed.

Rebecca said...

Well said!

Victoria said...

Oh yes - the world, finally, that I want for all of us. Beautiful post of dark recent history and the bright present.

Anonymous said...

Couldn't agree more. The American people have just made me reconsider my misanthropy.

For now...

Victoria R said...

i read your book but when you started bringing in politics i was turned off.. you have a liberal point of you and it explains where you get your dishonesty and lack of work effort... I have a son with polymicrogyria and i will make sure he has the best life.. unlike you i dont need the govermenyt to help me because he is my responsibility...

Victoria R said...

you people are all clueless and should have your right to vote taken away until you get your history test.. i cant wait for bobama to show you what communism is.. we are going to hell in a hand basket... hold on tight

Robert Hudson said...

...I have a son with polymicrogyria...

No, you don't.

Jennifer Good said...

I want to comment on people and their ignorance, but I won't stoop to their level. Also, I don't speak troll, so I don't fully understand what they are trying to grunt.

All 4 My Gals said...

I just started reading your book and was happy to see that I can share more of you and your daughter through your blog.

then when I saw this post.....well I knew I was REALLY going to like you. :-)

I live in Holland with a daughter who has Down syndrome and is around the same age as your girl. Okay I only metaphorically live in Holland and had to use it as that is the chapter that I am on.

I look forward to learning more of your family and growing through your shared wisdom.

Anonymous said...

are you really going to sit here and tell me I don't? My son is 18 months old and has polymicrogyria and microcephaly does not sit walk talk.. but has a great spirit... but to move on, why else would i get your book? I just want to share my opinion and it is that when you mix politics with anything it is a major turn off.

Robert Hudson said...

No, I don't believe you do. Sorry, but I don't. I think you just demonstrated your ability to use Google, though. Good for you.

And if you think an author of a memoir shouldn't write about their personal beliefs, then I think you probably shouldn't read mine or any other memoirs. Stick to Ann Coulter.