Sunday mornings are usually pretty relaxed around here. We don't go to church, the Baby Jesus keeps us from having Chick-fil-A and neither of us ever work on Sundays, so we usually get up late and have a lazy breakfast around the apartment. It's nice; even if we've got lots to do, it can all wait.
The three of us were sitting on the bed in our pjs, and Schuyler had her Big Box of Words with her so she could tell us about the beach in Connecticut. This naturally led to the topic of mermaids, as most conversations with Schuyler eventually do. When, in the midst of our discussion, we informed her that a boy mermaid was actually a merman, she asked me to add it to her device. Julie left us to our programming fun.
While we were adding words and making changes to the device, Schuyler and I ended up somehow on the voice settings, where the BBoW user can select the voice that she wants to represent her. There are maybe a dozen different voices, male and female, but there's only one (named "Kit") that sounds specifically like a child's voice.
Kit has been Schuyler's voice all along, and in a weird sort of way, it has become her recognizable voice to me. When we were being interviewed for public radio a few months ago, Schuyler thought it would be funny to reset the voice settings so that instead of little kid Kit's voice, the box suddenly sounded like some kind of menacing robot invader from Mars. She thought it was great fun, of course, and I found the experience surprisingly upsetting. Kit had become Schuyler's voice to me, and in some respects at least a part of who she really is on a fundamental level.
This morning, as I showed her the different voices and how they could be tweaked by changing the rate of speed, the pitch and the variance of pitch (ranging from robotic to Shatneresque), Schuyler grew very interested. She pointed to the device, and then to herself. Since we were in the settings mode, she had to speak with her hands.
She held her hands far apart ("big"), drew her thumb across her cheek ("girl") and then pointed to her throat ("voice").
Schuyler wanted a big girl voice.
We've been trying to push her to use the device this summer and have met with success, at least much of the time. We've always encouraged her her to take ownership of the BoW, adding words and changing pronunciations at her request. Now she was asking for a major change, and one that was very, very personal, both for her as a user and for the rest of us who interact with her every day.
We sat and spent a good half hour going through the different choices, and she finally chose "Ursula", which we then tweaked to bring the pitch up to a slightly more girlish sound and to add a bit of lilt to its patterns. What she ended up with was a voice completely customized to her wishes.
Broken children grow up like everyone else, although perhaps in ways and via paths we never anticipate. Schuyler has a big girl voice now. I only wish the rest of her big girl transformations were going to be that easy.
44 comments:
Watching how and when they grow up is always nerve-racking, exciting, strange, and familiar. They see paths and routes we never noticed were there.
In my experience, the biggest bumps were never in the places I anticipated and the biggest gains tended to sneak up on me.
A "big girl voice" is very important. Schuyler is very lucky that you understood that.
Go, Schuyler! Go, Rob!
Such a bittersweet moment. Thanks so much for sharing it with us.
Schuyler is so intuitive. I'm awed that she asks to have words added to the box. It's almost like a "double processing" for her. Not only does she learn a new word, but she then adds it to her spoken vocabulary. That's more than the rest of us have to do.
What an amazing story, Rob. Beautiful, sweet, and a little heartbreaking... I guess the way many growing up stories tend to be.
Thanks again for sharing with us.
i would love to hear the shatneresque voice. technology has come a long way. i remember using a device with one of the people i used to work with, which was so robotic that you couldn't always understand the words. this is wonderful that your daughter wants a big girl voice. you must be very proud.
What a great moment! Congrats to you and Schuyler on the big girl voice.
Can you post a sound clip for us? This post made me cry. Just because she is growing up. You are such a great Dad.
Congrats on such a big transition! Both on making it, and on making it with class and style. I also love that it was a team effort, you and Schuyler together, that made it possible.
Would it be possible to post a sample of her big girl voice? I'd love to have it in my head, so when I picture her I have the right voice to go with it.
that is incredible. it must have blown your mind as usual.
Both my sons struggled with developing their big boy voices through puberty. Several months of cracking and breaking and then, one day, they sounded older and the cute little voice was gone.
My daughter decided she needed a bra at 11, because all the other girls were wearing them. I took her, bought one, and she has not gone without since (even if she didn't need it).
They change (which is exciting) and they everything is different (which is sad).
Thanks for sharing your story.
Right on again.
Becca (almost 7yo that had the surgery to take seizure monster out in Jan.) informed us at a water park yesterday that she would no longer be hanging around the "kiddie" pool.
What next?
Big girls are complex for sure. Broken or not.
www.carepages.com titled Becca2001
This brought tears to my eyes, Rob. I recall her birth, her early years, etc., and now to make the shift into Big Girl status makes me proud for all of you. You've raised an incredible girl - monsters or not, she seems to be one of the most awesome kids I've come across in a really long time. If ya'll ever come into the Wisconsin/Chicago area, let me know - I want to give that girl (and her badass parents) a high-five.
That's fascinating to me. She had a hand in creating her big girl voice. So cool! I never really understood the term "bittersweet" until I had kids. This is definately one of those moments. I'd love to hear a sound clip.
I'm constantly amazed at how sophisticated that device is! Wow. I like your (real? fake?) Latin title, too.
This one brought tears to my eyes! It's a reminder that no matter how 'broken' a child may be, they all have milestones to acheive. Schuyler may not follow some doctor's developmental benchmarks, but she is certainly growing up. Thanks as always for sharing!
I wanted to share something with you as well, from one of my favorite sites - www.storypeople.com from Brian Andreas. One of my favorite 'stories,' as he calls them, seemed absoultely perfect for Schuyler:
"The first time her laughter unfurled its wings in the wind, we knew that the world would never be the same."
(You can order it as a print :)
When I read this post, and I got to "big... girl... voice..." I just about cried... and I can't exactly explain why. I guess it's that I'm watching my own little girl grow up, and I'm just not ready.
I must admit that I find it terribly amusing that Schuyler -- who is obsessed with mermaids -- ended up with the voice of Ursula :-) But then I'm just twisted that way.
The concept that your girl could choose the actual moment to switch to "big girl voice" is so empowering. I wonder if, as is so often the desire of adolescents, she will switch back to 'Kit" for brief periods along her journey. My son, whose voice is in the middle of changing, would probably love to be able to switch back to "little Ben" voice every now and then... Schyler can actually do it!
beautiful.
"Broken." Never in my life would I call my child "broken."
Never in my life would I let my heartfelt opinions be represented by the word Anonymous.
That is the kind of thing that makes me wish I knew you in real life, so I could comment casually, " my, you sound much more grown up." But tell Schuyler that she certainly looks much more grown up in her pictures!
I love the idea of Schuyler finding her own unique voice.
Don't be dissin' da Baby...
Your daughter is amazing...in spite of you.
And that, my friends, is why anonymous comments get disabled...
Dude, this made me tear up.
Uugh. Rob, let's make a deal. You turn back on anon comments, and I'll promise to flame the crap out of your brain-challenged commenters so you don't have to. I'll just take care of 'em on your behalf.
I hate so much having to sign in to some System to leave comments. The worst thing is that the context of hovering over a name to see a URL is completely lost with stupid Blogger profile URLs. The second worst thing is that nobody ever has their email address on their site anymore (is this a distributed phenomenon, or are boxed Blogger templates designed that way these days?). I started writing online in 1995 and IIRC you did around the same time too; do you remember when connecting with other people on an individual level was the entire point? Or did I just make the whole thing up? Now it seems like a larger effort is made toward building walls to keep strangers out. Like gated communities of suburban McMansions. I liked it better when we all lived in a big-ass high-rise, with a single cranky elevator.
(No, YOU get off MY lawn.)
Ah well. Your right to protect yourself & family from the stupid certainly outweighs my keening nostalgia, I'll grant you. Still. The new internet makes me sad.
---all I really really clicked into comments to say was, isn't Chick-Fil-A ridiculous with that Sunday thing? At my house we refer to it as the 11th Commandment, i.e., Thou Shalt Not Eat Chicken On Sundays.
Okay, deal.
Haven't you learned that we are all broken on this bus?
Schuyler has a "brokenness" that is perhaps more obvious than some...but she has many, many strengths as well. I can see the intelligence and personality shining out of her eyes.
The people I know who have "special needs" also have special gifts; gifts that make them wonderfully unique.
You and your daughter have given the world a rare and special gift by inviting people in to your world. I am richer having met you both through your book, on this site, and on Flickr. I can't see Schuyler as broken. She may not have a physical voice, but she has many, many gifts that others do not have.
Oh, awesome. I've never had anything resembling official dispensation to flame before. It's like my entire online life has led up to this beautiful moment ;)
Beautiful, beautiful post, Rob.
And if I may address the readership at large? Could you please all just freaking STOP DEBATING Rob's use of the word 'broken'?!?
Because guess what? It's NOT up for debate. He's discussed, at some length, over many years, why he uses the word. It's his choice. NOT YOURS. It's his blog. NOT YOURS.
So please just shut up about it. Nobody cares how YOU feel about that word. You wanna debate the appropriateness of that word? Do it somewhere else.
Suze
Interesting how "anonymous" is greeted with love and hugs ... as long as "they" agree with your thinking.
Seriously. The very fact that you and your idiotic, anonymous posts are here to be mocked must mean that I am not deleting them. So how are your little nameless floaters being censored in order to conform with my thinking?
Here's the thing, and I think it applies to most of the internet. No one's telling you not to post your opinion. Or I'm not, anyway. Post away. As long as you can get wireless signal from your mom's basement, nothing's going to keep you from saying whatever you want, as long as it's not threatening in nature.
But when you have nothing more to contribute than one-line anonymous digs, don't be insulted when I don't take your little fartwhiffs seriously.
Incidentally, we're going camping for a few days, so if your comment isn't approved until Saturday, it's not a conspiracy. It's nature.
Dammit, you made me cry at work! Not fair.
Totally shallow and lame comment now: Schuyler's hair looks freaking AWESOME in that picture. What do you guys use to color it? I've always wanted my hair to be exactly that color!
It's not that Anonymous is greeted with love and hugs. It's that people who have not inserted their heads into their asses immediately prior to posting are greeted with love and hugs. If for no other reason than that, otherwise, you don't know where to put your arms.
I've never seen a dogpile here on anyone who disagreed respectfully & with full ownership of their opinions. But these nameless, faceless people with the drive-by judgment... it's just in poor form and it's not going to change anyone's mind.
If you can't see the difference between those two things, well then, no love & hugs for you.
This brought tears to my eyes. I'm so glad she is growing up and ready for a big girl voice.
Wow. I got chills just imagining that - how affecting.
I thought it was wonderful that your daughter took such a hand in creating her big girl voice.
I wish they had more children's voices because almost every child and adolescent I have met uses "Kit the KId" (including mine). My daughter now has the same Box of Words that Schuyler has and she chose the Real Speak voice, Jennifer as her voice.
She previously had a Dynavox and, even though theoretically, you could personalize the voice like Schuyler did with hers, in actual fact unless you used the voice the way it came out of the box, the machine did not behave itself.
Schuyler picked a nice voice - I thought you were going to say she chose "Wendy" - for those who don't know, Wendy sounds very much like Marge's sister on the Simpsons!
ANYWAY, happy 4th of July to your family and your big girl who is taking her independence and using it in the best ways she can.
Wow. I never thought of it. My son Kyle, 9yrs old, uses the Vantage and also uses Kit for his voice. I never thought he could run into a girl Kit user! I will have to share the other voices with him and let him decide which one is right. Thank you Schuyler for your insight.
Jeanne, Lansdale PA
I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm new here since I just found your book. We have a son with Downs, and at age 5 has no speech whatsoever. I find this all fascinating in a scary sort of way, but as a parent I'm bound and determined to help him any way that I can. Schuyler is a great inspiration - thanks for sharing her (and your!) story.
I imagine Schuyler's Big Girl Voice makes her sound like Lauren Bacall.
I remember having a dream a couple years back about how cool it would be to have text to speech voices that grew with the person.
What brought on the thoughts were using something called language banking, that I created in my classroom. Basically we use Audacity to pitch up and slow down adult voices to make them child like. Seeing the children so psyched to use these voices for scripts or sharing writing, made me think deeply about the customization of computerized voices.
It is fascinating that Schuyler and my 9 year old always seem to be similar in their perceptions of their Vantage. We have moved on the the Eco, but still 84 locations. We have used KIT from the beginning. The Eco has REAL SPEAK voices on it, and we have been playing around with all of them. We ended up back with Kit, but changed the pitch and speed a bit, to add a little variety. Some day soon, we might have to re-visit the voices again. Glad you found a voice she likes for her Vantage.
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