January 7, 2008
SCHUYLER'S MONSTER: Sadness and Joy
Transcript:
Rob: I think it's pretty clear that I can be a sad person. It certainly comes out in my writing. Schuyler's situation makes me sad. I think about it. Sometimes I have dreams, I dream about her, and in my dreams she talks to me, and she tells me everything's going to be okay. And then when I wake up the next day, it's the first thing that hits me, that it was a dream. So it is sad, and it does weight down on me.
It doesn't seem to be sad for her, though. She's always very positive. She gets frustrated, certainly. But I don't know that she seems to get depressed about it. I think she's accepted the situation and is ready to fight. And so the joy that I get and the strength that I get in my life is that which I draw from her. And in that sense, she's made me a better person. I'm certainly ten times the person I was before she was born.
I think... There's a temptation, I would think, to feel pity for parents who have special needs kids. And yet, I see how much Schuyler has changed my life, and how much she's improved me as a human being, and I sort of think that people shouldn't pity me, they should envy me. They should be jealous because I've got Schuyler in my life, I've got Schuyler doing the "Schuyler Effect" on me.
And if they don't they should. They should envy me. And I hope that comes out in the book, I hope I represent her accurately and in a way that people can see beyond her disability to this amazing person. It sounds like a cliche, and it's absolutely true.
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3 comments:
Hello,
I'm a short-time reader, first time poster. I found your blog about a month ago, & have managed to read the whole thing since. I work for a library system in Denver, CO, and I just wanted to let you know, the library is buying your book on my recommendation. We'll probably get 6-10 copies for circulation; every bit helps, right?
Best of luck to you & your family. I can't wait to read the book.
That is awesome, thank you!
It's funny, the things you've said about Schuyler are the exact same kinds of things my husband's family said about his brother Mickey (who had CP).
Charisma, fortunately, is a thing that can shine even under the most challenging physical circumstances, especially if they live in a family who tries to raise them to be the most self-aware and confident version of themselves, and to be comfortable in the world at large. The moment someone who's had anxiety or a knee-jerk attitude toward unusual children actually gets to know a kid like them, and their preconceptions are blown away by just how cool - and the polar opposite of pitiable - that that kid is, it's a pretty great thing to witness (and also to experience). I think it pays forward just a little in changing society's attitude toward non-neurotypical kids.
From what I've seen, Schuyler's as effective at amazing folks as Mickey was, and people who get to know a kid like that are lucky.
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