January 10, 2008
SCHUYLER'S MONSTER: The Author on God
Transcript:
Rob: I think a lot of parents with broken children find God, and they find religion. They find a spirituality that sustains them. I certainly understand that, and I certainly respect it.
For me, I've always been an Agnostic, and I think I'm more agnostic now than ever before. You know, Schuyler's situation certainly raises a lot of questions, and it shakes any faith that you might have. But I've never given up on the idea of God. Julie says that she thinks the reason I could never be an Atheist is because then I wouldn't have anyone to blame. And I guess maybe that's true.
I do have a lot of questions that I would put to God about Schuyler, about all the kids like Schuyler, the kids who have it so much worse than Schuyler, about how that could happen. How a God of love and compassion can do that. But I don't have any answers.
My faith is in Schuyler, oddly enough. Watching her struggle and watching her fight. And I don't attribute faith to some invisible person in the sky, but I do feel very strongly when I observe Schuyler.
It's funny. I'm not sure if I believe in God, but I believe in Schuyler.
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5 comments:
Very very well said :)
I've had a hard time jettisoning the sky fairy for similar reasons, mostly the blame one. But I find that finally relinquishing the grudge and realizing that life is like it is, and that there is in fact no scapegoat, can be very liberating.
And I agree completely with finding faith in your kid. Every time I want to give up on the world, I think about my son's potential to do good things and make the world a better place, and I climb back out of Curmudgeon Creek.
I think Schuyler IS god in a sense - we all are - as part of the universe. I like to use this quote from Albert Einstein - who said:
"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us _universe_, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
nice post but, on an unrelated note, now that you seem to have changed the blog name to " fighting monsters with rubber swords", don't you think that continuing to refer to Schuyler as your "beloved monster" on the sidebar becomes problematic? It is clearly not Schuyler that you are fighting...
God didn't do this to you or to Schuyler. It isn't because there is no god that this happened...and it certainly isn't a punishment on you or anyone else. God doesn't do bad things to good people. We originally disobeyed one simple rule that He set....not to limit us, but to protect us. Now, because sin entered the world through that first act of disobediance, we are still suffering the consequences. God DOES love us...enough to give His ONLY Son (think of your ONLY daughter) to give His life for us. But He still SUFFERS bad things to happen. We aren't puppets, nor is He the puppet master. Bad things happen...it's not His fault. He CAN change them...but sometimes He sees the greater good that can come from our suffering....just think of how many lives Schuyler has touched because of this terrible monster. Would that have ever happend had she NOT had to fight this monster? Would you have become such a strong advocate, giving hope to others in need if you weren't weilding a rubber sword at a monster that you can't see? God still loves you AND is using you and Schuyler....and you feel it every time you look at her and are amazed by her inner strength. A strength and peace and wisdom that can only come from a loving God who holds her in His hand and has given her a gift that is more abundant and more special than a hundred children who can talk. Schuyler can feel the pain and empathize with a statue...where does that kind of intuitve feeling come from? From Someone who loves Schuyler even more than you. Someone you has a plan for her life...a plan that has already brought joy and hope to MANY other people...people that you will never hear from or even guess at their existance. The best part is that even if you aren't sure if you believe in God, He still knows you and will be there for you when you need Him, even if you don't know where to find Him....He will find you.
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