A man right here in Plano, Texas had his monkey taken away from him, and was then accused of sending monkey porn to his incarcerated pet. Or maybe it wasn't monkey porn, says the guy who originally made the allegation but is now reconsidering his opinion. Maybe it was just the heartfelt expression of a guy who loves his monkey.
I really do think that this story ran in the paper for no other reason than to serve as an excuse to print the following quote:
"I don't have sex with my monkey. That's absolute crap," Mr. Crawford said. "Why would I do that? I gave him an audiotape, but it didn't have anything like that on it. It said, 'I'm coming home, I'm coming to get you. Daddy's coming, he's coming to get you,' " Mr. Crawford said.
"I don't have sex with my monkey." It's my personal belief that if you find yourself in the position where you feel it necessary to make that statement to the news media, you might just have a serious image problem. Also, you sound totally guilty.
15 comments:
Now this was a post worth reading! ahahahahahahah
I have some monkey haters in my pack of friends: monkeys are scary, monkeys are mean, etc.
Wait until they get a look at this article!
That's just...that's just...
Good grief, people in North Texas see porn everywher ein everything.
I want to hear what the other guy said.
Now back to LMAO "monkey sex."
You know, I had a recent satirical blog post about people objecting to the HPV vaccine for sexual reasons and I used the phrase "monkey sex."
You'd be surprised how many search engine hits that brings. Or, maybe after this, not. LOL
I suspect "monkey porn" is going to disappoint a few googlers.
You know, it's worth reading the original arrest story, too. Otherwise, you might miss quotes like:
The brawny man is inked with tattoos dedicated to the 8-year-old rhesus macaque monkey – two images flanking his back and the animal's name etched on his arm.
...and my personal favorite:
Mr. Crawford said Friday that the third alligator somehow scaled the backyard fence in the summer.
He hasn't seen it since.
Clearly I have misjudged Plano.
That alligator must have had a really, really good reason to leave...
ok.....this is the funniest thing i have possibly read all year....and an aligator in Plano? who knew?
ok.....this is the funniest thing i have possibly read all year....and an aligator in Plano? who knew?
Soon they'll be fighting it out with the bobcats and the nutrias. Plano has a surprisingly interesting food chain, apparently.
My sister lives in Plano. I wonder if she's aware of this monkey man...
Only in Texas??? LMAO :) Love it.
You live in the best town.
Well, now that McKinney is the new Plano, Plano has to do something to stay in the limelight.
"Touch my monkey."
Okay, I can't believe I'm the first person to post that.
Lordy. And that's just about all I have to say.
Believe me, you've missed most of the story on this one. For the whole truth, and to see why you've all been suckered into taking part in character assassination of a really nice man, go check out www.savedarwin.com.
God, I love the internet.
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