I wonder if I'll get fired from my diabetes blog for what must surely be the very worst blog post ever. It's a very real possibility.
I know I was pretty upbeat last time about my health, but the past two days haven't gone so well. One of the things that Dr. Hottie did was increase my daily dosage of Metformin (the poor man's Glucophage) by another 500mg, and that, possibly along with the Supermodel Diet Pills, has caused my body to reject the very idea of human life in a rather dramatic way. I won't go into a great amount of detail except to say that I'm glad our apartment has two toilets. You figure it out.
I got a call today from Dr. Hottie's office with results from my last round of tests, and it was basically one of those "I've got some bad news and I've got some good news" calls.
Oo, that reminds me of an old favorite joke!
A man has been having serious dental problems, so he goes to see an oral surgeon. The surgeon examines his mouth and then goes off to analyze the results. After a while, he comes back into the office and sits down with his patient. His face is somber.
"Well," he says, "I have some bad news, and then I've got some REALLY bad news. But then I have some good news."
"The bad news," he continues, "is that a rare but serious infection has attacked your teeth. I'm afraid we're going to have to pull every single one of them out."
"Oh my God, that's terrible!" the man cries. "I can't imagine what the REALLY bad news could be!"
"Oh, it's bad," the doctor says. "It turns out that the infection has also moved into your gums. We're going to have to actually go in and file your gums down, all the way to the bone."
By now the man is in tears. "That's horrible," he says. "What good news could you possibly have?"
The doctor looks up at him. "Did you see that good looking receptionist at the front desk when you came in?"
"Yeah?" says the man.
"Well, I'm banging her."
Ha! Anyway.
So the good news is that my blood sugar is actually coming down, slowly but steadily. It's still too high, but not crazy high. More wacky high now.
The bad news, well, just this once I'm going to keep it to myself for a while. I know it sucks to mention something on a blog and then be all "But I can't tell you, tee hee hee!", but we're still processing it and sorting out what it means and what we'll have to do about it. It was unexpected, I'll say that much.
I'm embarking on a crazy weekend where I'm shooting two weddings in two different towns, neither of them local or even all that close, and also working a bridal expo. That's a lot of pretending to be a nice person. This is the first time I've ever been concerned about actually making it through a gig, but I think I'll be okay. The truth is, I feel best when I'm shooting, with all the moving around and thinking on my feet. It's when I'm sitting on the couch watching Battlestar Galactica reruns all day like today that I feel bad.
You know, I'm standing by my assertion that the Diabetes Notes post I mentioned earlier is the worst blog post ever, but now that I look back on it, I think this one maybe runs a close second.
24 comments:
I hope you feel better SOON!
Okay, I have to add a doctor joke worse than yours. (In fact I think everyone who reads this should.)Here's a classic, none the less stupid for its age:
A doctor had just finished a marathon sex session with one of his patients. He was resting afterwards and was feeling a bit guilty because he thought it wasn't really ethical to screw one of his patients.
However, a little voice in his head said "Lots of other doctors have sex with their patients so it's not like you're the first..."
This made the doctor feel a little bit better until still another voice in his head said,
"... but they probably weren't veterinarians."
Harhar!
Not sure what the bad news could be... but I'm thinking of you and your family and wishing only the happiest of happy thoughts.
You'd think at some point the Bad Things would just stop for at least a while... huh?
Ha, Rhys! That would work with "pediatrician", too...
Hah! Or pathologist.
We love y'all, Rum-Huds.
I'll try notifying the good news fairy about your situation. Obviously she's been remiss in her duties. Wishing you all the best and a big, happy turnaround in your situation.
Uh oh. Don't tell us you are pregnant and Julie is denying being the mother?
Hope it's something that can be worked out, we worry about you.
In case you haven't tried it, taking the metformin halfway through a meal can help. So can taking extra calcium supplements. (I eventually had to switch to another drug, but while I was still taking metformin, doing those things made it possible for me to leave my house.)
I wonder. The metformin I'm on is the time release version, so I might be screwed, but I wonder if I switch tot he other kind and do it when I eat. If nothing else, I get the bullshit out of the way all at once rather than all day.
BOTH doctor jokes were good!
Here's hoping that all news from now on is the "not bad" kind and that all remains on the upswing for you.
Go conquer that bridal expo thingie!
I hope you are ok. Don't hold out on us too long!
Rob, I take Metformin XR too. I take it for Insulin Resistance (AKA as pre-Diabetes) and PCOS. I had your same problems for the first two months until I took some advice from this message board to take all my pills (each one 500 mg) at night when I go to bed. What a difference! It might work for you as well.
Take care!
Let us know how we can help.
We love ya, kiddo.
All right, pedophilia and necrophilia jokes are better! :) I srue do like these sick folks 'round here.
Thinking of you all. (And no prob. on the delay, I totally understand.) Feel better, Rob.
Ugh. Sorry to hear of the drug adjustment issues.
But I absolutely cannot go with that being the worst post ever. I could go searching through my archives for those sleep-deprived ones that contain more exclamation points than instances of the letter "e," but there aren't enough drugs in our house to convince me that would be much fun.
I tried to warn you about that side effect of metformin.
Karin
Dude. Metformin XF forked me up and my former co-worker, too. Nasty, nasty. I've been back on the old twice-a-day horse pills since, and no problems. I understand the XR formulation often causes problems for folks.
Smooches and healing wishes.
Wow, so glad I stumbled on your blog. Great writing and beautiful pictures. your little girl is gorgeous.
I've been trying to find the perfect balance of metformin working and not upsetting my stomach for, well, years. At the moment I'm on 2000mg XR per day, which I split into morning and evening doses and take about an hour after a meal each time. This seems to mostly work -- at least, I have fewer IBS-like symptoms now than I did on the regular stuff.
Oddly, my equilibrium seems to depend on taking Lipitor regularly. I skip a dose of metformin OR Lipitor and I am guaranteed a fun week, digestively speaking. Lipitor seemed to have no effect on my digestive stuff while I was taking regular metformin, though other statins causes an unfortunate degree of, uh, gassiness, which is how I ended up on Lipitor. I didn't want to complain about farting all the time, but my doctor took the hint, said it was a quality of life issue, and happily worked with me to find a drug that did the job without such unpleasant side-effects.
Dude, you've got my imagination running wild now, I hope your bad news isn't too bad....well, I guess it wouldn't be bad news then....k...I hope your bad news is good news....whatever, you know what I mean!
Heh. I'm a photojournalist for a newspaper, and I shoot weddings on the side as well. "Lots of pretending to be a nice person," indeed.
Being a man, however, I doubt a bride has ever asked you to help her pee, which, believe me, sucks. Sending you wishes for nice light, a cooperative wedding party and a mother of the bride on Valium.... :)
My favorite doctor joke variant (because it's awful):
http://www.jerkcity.com/jerkcity1044.html
:o BLISSTREE. I LOVE BLISSTREE.
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