November 15, 2007

Sometimes it's not monsters that we fight

From the CCN website (which I usually visit for the guilty pleasure of reading about people being eaten by alligators and sharks and bears):

"Help! My pediatrician's not listening to me"

Of particular interest to me (and relevant to Schuyler's story) was this part, near the end:

"Parents of children with severe disabilities are often the experts on their children. They're with them all the time."

The trick here, she says, is to stand firm, even when you know you're annoying the doctor.

"You have to let go of the desire to be the good patient and make everyone like you," she says. She recommends questioning the doctor thoroughly. For example, Green could have asked why the doctor didn't want to use one of the other potent antibiotics.

Rackner says patients can keep in mind stock phrases they can use to make the conversations easier.

For example, she says, one way Green could have started the conversation is: "I honor your years as a practicing physician; I hope you honor my years as this child's parent 24/7."


Tell me about it.

9 comments:

Her Bad Mother said...

Wow. WOW. Perfectly said.

Anonymous said...

dude you are reading my mind with this post...just went into battle with a local pediatrician yesterday and to my delight, she was open and receptive. But yes, my husband and I are the experts without a doubt.

Kathi said...

I wish I could push a button and say things like that instead of allowing myself to just get pissed off. I'll have to practice.

Anonymous said...

Speaking up for your child in the doctor's office is your job as a parent. But while this article has some good advice, it's also cherry-picking, a little - the jaundice story, for example. What if the doctor had stopped the blood tests at the mother's insistence and the jaundice *hadn't* gotten better? She probably would have sued for malpractice.

Robert Hudson said...

Yeah, I definitely agree. It was that last one that resonated the most. The others felt more like a compromise was in order, rather than one way or the other.

I think the larger issue is important, that parents need to be confident in their opinions and doctors need to be receptive to that.

britmummybites said...

"The trick here, she says, is to stand firm, even when you know you're annoying the doctor."

Love it!! Although i think i have gone past the point of annoying doctors, speech therapists, teachers, local education authority.

Got told by a specialst paed over a month ago to stop annoying people as i need them on my side.

Well if the UK didn't have lack of finances in regards to education and the NHS and if they weren't told by their bosses not to dx children or cut corners. If they didn't lie to parents and say oh your children isn't autistic she just has "traits" and then months later the debuty head of her school reads out ASD as one of her special needs. Or if a certain teacher that my eldest has got this year would take time and set different homework each week instead of giving her the same work (answer set questions on her week end) each friday then maybe i want be annoying them. Maybe then i wouldn't be as stressed out as i'm feeling right now.

Anonymous said...

I admire the parents that stick it out. I pediatrician-hopped until I found a guy with a daughter with similar special needs as my son, who listens even when he disagrees.

Rob, I came from the Pajamas media site - great blog, I'll be back to read more after work.

Bernard said...

Thanks Rob, that's a keeper phrase to use in the future.

Anonymous said...

I agree with anonymous1, for the most part the parent is the expert, but my son is deaf and has CP because of jaundice. He had blood transfusions but they didn't do them in time, so, he suffered brain damage. Jaundice is nasty stuff!