May 18, 2008

Beelzebug's sweet sorrow


Beelzebug and friend
Originally uploaded by Citizen Rob
It was eight years ago almost exactly that we bought the '99 VW Beetle that we came to know as Beelzebug. It was the week before Mother's Day, meaning it was also a week before we discovered that Julie was pregnant. At the time, my friend Jim in Texas wrote to tell me what a mistake it was, buying this cheap, trendy little car instead of something good and solid and responsible that would last for years.

Well, Jim's been right about a great many things over the years, remarkably so considering that he suffers from a persistent rash known as Conservative Republicanism (I hear there's a treatment for that now), but he was wrong about Beelzebug.

That's not to say that the car never had problems. Things started going wrong with it just about as soon as the warranty ran out, things like plastic switches and little hipster accents. But the car has never experienced any serious engine problems and has gotten us from the tundra of Kalamazoo to the demilitarized zone of Detroit, then to New England for four years before finally moving me and all my crap to Austin and then finally to Plano.

It's been nine years and 122,000 miles (not easy miles, either), however, and poor Beelzebug has been making ominous sounds for some time. The air conditioning hasn't worked for a while (which makes for a delightful driving experience in Texas), and the engine tends to overheat when the car isn't moving (like in, oh, say, Dallas rush hour traffic). There's a lot of work that would need to go into repairing the car, and putting all that money into a nine year-old plastic, trendy, high-mileage car feels a little like giving a heart transplant to a 100 year-old patient. Every time poor Beelzebug makes one of its scary noises or overheats, you can almost hear it whispering its DNR request.

"No heroic measures," it seems to say. "Please just let me go..."

We've been looking at new cars for a few months now, and we had pretty much decided on half a dozen different cars before changing our minds. We had actually decided to get a Mini Cooper S, the choice originally made by Schuyler and which certainly would have felt like a worthy hipstery successor to Beelzebug. We came as close as filling out the paperwork and toying with the deposit. Seriously, we were close. It would have been yellow. Yellow. You know of my love of yellow.

But in the end, we got an excellent deal on a Mazdaspeed3, which looks like the respectable, four-door Mom & Dad hatchback Mazda3 but has a ridiculously punchy engine and will pretty much go as fast as you ever would want to go. It actually scares me, a lot. And it turns out that it was built in Hiroshima, which tweaked me a little bit, for some reason.

But no matter how much I grow to love this new car (and I have to be honest, I am digging it a lot), it'll never be quite the same as Beelzebug. We brought Schuyler home from the hospital in that car, after all. How do you top that? Goodbye, old friend.

23 comments:

SarahJanet said...

I'm sorry to hear about Beelzebug's demise, but I freaking love my Mazda3, if it's any consolation. Have you named it yet?

Anonymous said...

I once had a tiny, demure-looking Mazda. It fooled not only me, but also all the testosteronial cars at traffic lights, once leaving a snarling Corvette in its dust. You will not be disappointed.

Anonymous said...

Maztema?

Liana said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets sentimental about non-living objects...reading this, I actually felt kinda sad for poor old Beezlebug, even though he's lived a good life with you guys. I hope he gets some good rest :)

Anonymous said...

Our 4-person family also has a Mazda3 as our 2nd car (other one is *sigh* a minivan). LOVE it. Super zippy. Hopefully you have the manual transmission to take full advantage of the zippiness?

Robert Hudson said...

Yeah, the Speed3 is only available in a stick. I hate driving an automatic, I can't stand it when I am forced to do so.

Anonymous said...

It is indeed, the end of an era. I cried when we got rid of the car that carried my daughter home from the hospital.

Godspeed, Beelzebug.

Anonymous said...

Maz-te-zoom-a?

Anonymous said...

Rob, you made me cry over a car. Of course, it wouldn't be the first time. Jessica and I were both sobbing like babies when we traded in my 99 bug (Gracie). Good bye, Beezlebug!

Anonymous said...

Aw, bye Beelzebug. Ya done good.

I love that when I clicked over to see the MazdaSpeed3, the tagline was "Every family has one...the Wild Child" - seems somehow appropriate for the Rum-Huds!
-Pegkitty

Anonymous said...

The car that brought my son home from the hospital was a cab, but I know what you mean. My little Corolla entered service the month after his arrival, and is very much a part of the family. Only two years old now, but I expect it to take the critter to elementary school.

I had a very close relationship with my college car, an '88 Nissan Sentra that ended its life only a few years ago, with 250,000 miles on it. I sold it to a friend in '96, and it kept on chugging. He sold it to his brother a few years after that, and still it ran, albeit reluctantly. Only after catching fire and burning to a crisp on the side of a country road did it finish its life here on earth.

Play Stravinsky's Rite of Spring on Beelzebug's speakers before committing it to the scrap heap, and celebrate the cycle of life and death. The atoms that are Beelzebug shall find a new place in the cosmos, as they have in the past. Recite the Law of Conservation of Mass, and sprinkle some chamomile leaves over its carcass. No reason, I just like chamomile.

Kim said...

Sad, indeed. But perhaps saddest of all.. it will be hard to find a moniker so kickass as "Beezlebug" to equally suit any other car. I mean "Beelzebug" is pretty much the sweetest name ever.

Ever.

Robert Hudson said...

I agree. And the irony is that this car feels much more evil than Beelzebug ever did, with it's 263-hp engine and it's creepy glowing red dash display. I drove it at night last night for the first time, and it was the first time I had seen it all lit up like that. I'll have to see if I can get a photo.

Jim Howard said...

Eight years! It seems like yesterday you bought the VW.

You'll be relieved to know that I approve of your Mazda purchase.

I'm little shocked you went with the 263hp earth-destroying version. I bet you ate a big lunch today also. Obama would not be amused.

In another eight years it will be time for you to do what I recently did, and buy a motorcycle.

Robert Hudson said...

In another eight years, it will be time to buy Schuyler a car. Good lord, I can't believe I even said that out loud...

Laura said...

Hi! I just this minute finished your book. I could not put it down. So well written. I love hearing about your sweet and cool daughter. I will always be thinking of you all and wishing you the best.

Please keep writing more.....I am hooked!

Anonymous said...

Your new car is very cute, but 18mpg city? Seems short-sighted. Gas around here is $3.89 at the cheap places...

Sorry. No one likes negatives. I'll shut up!

Robert Hudson said...

Short sighted? Is there an apocalypse coming that I was unaware of?

So far I'm averaging right at 25 mpg. I can live with that.

Anonymous said...

Even 25 mpg isn't great for a brand new car... My 14 year old car gets 32 mpg. I am perhaps too sensitive to this stuff, but with estimates of gas prices going ever skyward, I pay close attention. Sorry to be a downer! I've just been reading you for years and know how tight money has been in the past for you. I'm happy you are doing better now.

Robert Hudson said...

No, I appreciate what you're saying, and I agree to a certain extent, although I'm not ready to give in to Gas Hysteria just yet. There are things in my day to day living that I can do to offset gas prices, and for the time being, at least, I have no problem eating out a little less in order to drive a car I really like.

The Speeed3 was a compromise in a lot of different areas, between something that was practical (four doors, lots of space for Schuyler's freakishly long legs) and fun to drive (263 hp, which puts the 25 mpg in a different perspective, and a ton of little computer-guided doodads designed to keep me from killing myself). And since it's a Mazda, we got a very nice price break since Julie's dad is a retired Ford engineer.

If all we wanted was good gas mileage, we had lots of choices. But to be honest, I wanted to treat myself a little, albeit in a car that met all of Julie and Schuyler's needs, too.

Julie watched me test drive a lot less practical cars (such as the very sweet but wildly wrong Mazda RX-8, or the Mini Cooper, both of which would only work if Schuyler could learn to retract her legs), and she liked the Speed3 the best, as well. (I have to confess, however, that when she test drove it and punched it for the first time, she got the Crazy Eyes, too.)

Irresponsible decision? Perhaps, but if you've been reading me for that long, then you know that this doesn't even make the Top Fifty.

Major Bedhead said...

Cute car! I just got a Mazda5 and I love it, even while refusing to call it a minivan. It's a microvan, dammit, and his name is Eddie.

Shannon said...

Oh crap. Letting go of the VW. My husband talks of not getting another VW. There's no way. It's THE one constant that's been in my life. (besides my husband but we've only been together 6 years!)....my parents brought me home in a beetle and every car I've driven has been a VW. I'm on my 7th one. Goodbye beetle.
Some teenage girl is going to have her dreams come true.
-Shannon in Austin

Anonymous said...

Mazdas have been great vehicles for us. They seem to last forever! Yours is great-looking. Now you've gone and given me the new car bug. Way to go, Rob.

I love that you gave your other one to Texas Can -- very cool.

Pam