February 27, 2012

No Offense

Here's a donut if you didn't get one.
Happy Monday, friends. I hope you got some donuts.

If it's Monday, it must be time for another blog post over at Support for Special Needs. This might be one I ever so slightly regret posting in the very near future, which of course means you should go over and read it right now.

I keep meaning to mention something. If you want to comment on this post, I hope you'll do so over on the SfSN site if possible. I'm not sure if anyone reads the comments over here, not on my Monday posts, anyway.

Have a swell week, yo.

9 comments:

Ginger Cullen said...

All I gotta say is that the comments sure got shut down on that post fast. Kind of ironic.

Astrin Ymris said...

Unfortunately, Julia Roberts had to shut down comments on this week's column at SSN as of 2:01 pm today. People were too offended at the idea that the Special Needs community was too quick to take offense.

It's too bad, because the very heat the issue raised shows that it urgently needs to be discussed.

Tess said...

Agreed! I was a good post, and some very insightful stuff went on in the comments which proves that we need to discuss this...here's to another opportunity to do so some other time...

Tess said...

Agreed! I hope this issue comes back to discuss another time - it was very insightful...

Robert Hudson said...

The choice to close comments over there was made by Julia, and I support it. It's her site, and she has every right to expect whatever tone she wants from it. She's been around this stuff long enough to smell when a discussion is degenerating into something ugly.

As for me, I'll post for SfSN for as long as they'll have me, and I will continue to try (with frequent stumbles, I'm sure) follow their rules of dialogue when I do so. I've tried to moderate my tone when necessary, but I clearly need to continue to improve. Which I will.

(If you come HERE acting like an assmonkey, however, expect me to treat you as such.)

Joyce said...

I thought your column was brilliant and it could be applied to so many areas - not just special needs. Thank you for writing this. It's nice to know that I am not the only one who thinks this way.

Also - what is the story with the donut? I'm new around here so I'm not sure if it's an inside joke or not. At any rate, I now want a gorgeous red donut of my own. :-)

elizabeth donnelly said...

Can I put my pair of pennies in? I think I get what you were trying to say, about internet ~*social justice activism*~ and how it can be less about making things better for people and more about having a pissing contest over who's more ~righteous~. But the way you phrased it was kind of...off. When you say "nobody's allowed to get offended", I think what that translates to for people "nobody's allowed to feel hurt" or "nobody's allowed to point out how something could be problematic" - and frankly, I can see how people might get upset about that.

Turning things into a game of "More Oppressed Than Thou" doesn't help things get done, but neither does shutting down all criticism and discussion of people's feelings. If we're going to make things work, then we need people to be able to bring up why x idea makes them feel uncomfortable, or why y statement needs to be more nuanced, or why person z should take a, b, and c into account. We need to be able to take everyone's feelings and needs into account, and respect all of them, basically.

I think a better rule for the hypothetical conference might be this: "Be reasonable. Be respectful. Consider what people are saying, and where they're coming from." Or, in other words, "Assume everyone else you talk to is a rational adult with a good reason for saying what they say".

Tess said...

Just to say I also completely supported Julie's decision to close comments on that particular post AND it is an interesting facet of the disability world that needs to be discussed in another context.

Amanda Jaksha said...

Nice try at the uber-sensative subject, nice post. I think a huge part of all this craziness is folks that do not accept, fully, the reality of their situation. Obviously, by reading the comments, some folks feel they ARE THE VOICE for their diagnosis and that itself seems problematic.

Perhaps disability is just to loose of a term as it seems like those whom feel "less disabled" do not want to become familiar with all the challenges and joys they share with the rest of the community, seen by them as more broken, or differenlty broken. I feel if any community should be able to look past differences, offer a helping hand to less abled humans for a movement much larger than themselves, it's this one.

Unfortunately it seems more hostile than the 2012 republican nominees debating. Ugly, disappointing, self-loathingly American.

I'll be at your conference with a wicked sense of humor, no self-pity, listening ears and expectations of real talk with no whining. An agenda for a social movement that HELPS ALL folks caring for and living with disabilities...maybe you can all drop your "poor me" for that?

We are NOT victims and should find some gawd damn manners. I think the old adage if you don't like something fix it, if you can't fix it, fix the way you think about it is fitting. Kudos to you in your quest to come together and change things like government support programs, stigmas, education reform, communication, etc. It is noble although seemingly unappreciated.