August 30, 2010

Three Things

I'm closing this particular post to comments. Sometimes I need to hear, but occasionally, I just sort of need to say.

A good and thoughtful friend asked me recently to name the three hardest things about my life. It was an interesting question. While answering it (and sharing my answer here) is extremely self-indulgent, and with an acute awareness that my life is a parade of royal indulgences compared to what most parents in my position deal with, here's what I said. I answered very quickly, with almost no thought, but days later, this still feels accurate.

  • I am tired of failing the people around me. Particularly Schuyler, I hope it goes without saying, but yeah.
  • I am tired of being poor.
  • I am tired -- I am exhausted and worn down to a grooveless record by it -- I am very very tired of being afraid of the future.