ACT I
Julie picks up Schuyler from school. Schuyler is in a very sad mood, not making eye contact and seeming to be on the verge of tears.
Julie: Schuyler, what's wrong?
Schuyler: I'm sad.
Julie: Why are you sad?
Schuyler: Because you think I'm a loser.
Julie: No I don't! Schuyler, where did you hear that word?
Schuyler: Jackie called me a loser today.
(Jackie is a girl in Schuyler's class who has said things about her before, including the worst thing that you can say to Schuyler, who has the biggest heart in the entire world: "You're not my friend.")
---
Later, talking to Schuyler about the incident.
Rob: Did Jackie call you a loser at school?
Schuyler (sadly): Yeah.
Rob: You know you're not a loser, don't you?
Schuyler: Yes, Daddy.
Rob: We're going to Nashville in a couple of weeks so that a bunch of really smart people can hear all about you and how you use Pinkessa to talk. Do you think they want to come learn about you and meet you because they think you're a loser?
Schuyler: No.
Rob: No, they think you're the coolest, and so do I. So does anyone who matters. Do you think Jackie's opinion matters? It doesn't. She's just trying to be mean. Anyone can say mean things. Don't let it bother you next time.
Schuyler pauses and smiles, then she waves her hand in front of her face and laughs.
Rob: What? She smells?
Schuyler laughs and nods.
Rob: What does she smell like?
Schuyler points at her ass and laughs hard.
Rob: She smells like butt? Like a monkey butt?
Schuyler: Yeah!
We get Pinkessa so Schuyler can tell me, "Jackie smells like a monkey's butthole." I help her with the spelling. I'm not sure if this makes me a good or terrible father. Julie looks at me disapprovingly.
Julie: You're going to get her in trouble.
Rob: If she gets sent home for saying something, I'll punish her with ice cream.
Schuyler returns to school the next day, and for the rest of the week. She does not tell Jackie that she smells like a monkey's butthole. Sometimes I think she really does get when I'm kidding.
END ACT ONE
ACT TWO
Julie takes Schuyler to see a movie that they both want to see, but which I think sounds like the kind of thing that Jack Bauer would show captive terrorists to tell him where the bomb is hidden, so I pass. While standing in line, Schuyler sees two girls, one of whom she knows from school. The mother of the girl also seems to know Schuyler, or at least who she is, and tries to engage her with complicated questions before chatting up Julie.
As they talk, Julie hears the girl from Schuyler's school talking to her friend, who attends a school in Frisco, not Plano.
Plano Girl (giggling to her friend): Watch this. (to Schuyler) Hey, Schuyler! Say something! Talk for us!
When Schuyler says something, the girl laughs at her. The Frisco girl doesn't laugh, to her credit, so the Plano girl says it again. This time the girl's mother hears her.
Plano Mom: That's enough of that!
Julie excuses herself and pulls Schuyler away. After they enter the theater, Schuyler sees her "friend" sitting a few rows down and tells Julie that she wants to sit with them.
Julie: No, Schuyler. They came to have an afternoon together, and they didn't invite us to join them. We don't invite ourselves to other people's get-togethers. That's not polite.
She neglects to mention the fact that the little girl is horrible.
Schuyler protests before slumping down in her seat in a full-blown sulk. Finally she looks at Julie with a frown.
Schuyler: You're mean.
Julie: I know, I'm sorry.
Julie doesn't tell Schuyler the truth, that she's not mean, but rather she's protecting her from a mean girl, another one, and just one of the many who will come along in the future. Schuyler is too innocent to recognize that the girl was being mean to her, and Julie would like to keep it that way forever.
Which is, of course, impossible. But we try. God knows we try, knowing that we'll lose one day. Because when a girl calls Schuyler a loser, it breaks her heart. But when a kid mocks Schuyler because of her monster and she doesn't even see it, and still thinks the girl is her friend, well, when that happens, ours are the hearts that break.
Schuyler will figure it out soon enough. And then there'll be broken hearts enough to go around. Plenty for everyone.
END ACT TWO
56 comments:
I think Blogger is eating comments. If you post something and it doesn't go up in a decent amount of time, please repost it. I'll delete any duplication.
Stupid Blogger. (Not to be confused with "Stupid blogger", in reference to me...)
I have been reading your blog for a little while now,and I love Schuyler's spirit!
Your daughter reminds me of my daughter. My daughter is 11. And very verbal. But she has her own monsters she has to fight(many mental health diagnosis, epilepsy, a learning disability,and fine and gross motor delays).They both have the same unexplainable spirit.
This post made me realize how they are both so much alike...they both see the best in people,and don't have a sense of when people are making fun of them. In one way, I thank God for that, because what my daughter doesn't understand, doesn't hurt her. In another way, it kills me, because she can't defend herself if she doesn't know her "friends" are being rude.
I would rather have a child who sees everyone as a friend, than a child who feels the need to make fun of their "friends".
Oh, God. This is so awful, so shitty. I'm so sorry that I don't know what else to say other than you and Julie are just about the most wonderful parents and people that I could imagine. And I know many wonderful parents. I think, too, that your sensitivities are magnified many times by what you've been through, by what you'll continue to go through but those same sensitivities will sustain you. I have to believe it; otherwise it's all just shit from a monkey's butthole.
I hope Schuyler does tell that girl that she smells like a monkey's butthole. And then you can buy icecream from all of us!
I'm not sure how to respond to act two....it's something that plays on mind because I know the day will come for Schuyler and my little one too. It's hard watching people be mean to your kids. But its harder to watch your kids finally understand that they're being made to look like an idiot.
Big Love Schuyler!!! From all the people that really matter in the world. The rest?? They're all monkey's buttholes.
And this right here is the reason I'm scared to death of having a female child. Regardless of whether or not my future possible progeny are "different" in ways as noticeable as Schuyler's differences are evident to her peers, girls are just plain mean, especially at her age. I have terrible memories of the cruelty of other girls from elementary school, and some pretty strong regrets of my own behavior from that time. I'd take boys' fist-fights over girls' catty heart-breaking comments any day.
You and Julie handle these encounters with so much grace, albeit with different tactics. It's good for Schuyler to see varying ways to cope. I'm very much in awe.
Oh no, it isn't going to be easy. I probably would have said something to the child. We had a little girl come to girl scouts one day, who wasn't a g.s.. I saw her making faces at Faith, who was drooling. So I pushed Faith right up to her and said "Faith, tell this little girl, hello!" It totally shocked the girl (who was in 3rd grade) she asked "what's wrong with her" and the other girl scouts decended on her, educating her on Faith's conditions. It really put her in her place!LOL! Fast foward to this past Saturday, we saw the same little girl at the store and she came running up to Faith, telling her family how she knew Faith and actually gave her a toy to play with! Weird,huh? She is one of Faith's little friends now. After getting a real life education via the girl scouts ( and a pissed off mom!)
I think the firl at the moveis smells like monkey butthole too!!
Kids are mean. And I imagine Schuyler, monster or no monster, would be one of the last to learn this sucky life lesson because she's got such an awesome heart. :)
I'm really looking forward to Nashville!
Both of my sons are Autistic, and we've had to teach them how to deal with bullies/mean kids. When that kind of thing happens, we tell them that some people need to make others feel bad so tey can feel good about themselves, because they're empty inside. Now, instead of taking it personally, my boys feel pity for the mean kids.
Changing just a few words here, I could have written this story about my 10-year-old son with Asperger's. Not the first time in the 5 years I've been reading you that you've written our story too.
I wish I had something better to say than you & Julie are not alone. I know that all parents go through other kids being mean or nasty to their child once in a while, but there are so many days that I look at them and think what a different place the world might be if everyone could somehow understand what it's like to be the parent of our kids for just a few days.
I also cannot understand how there are parents who let their kids do that kind of stuff (yes, some don't know, but some DO).
wow, little girls really are mean. Schuyler *could* say that there is a book written about her - does Jackie have a book written about *her*? But I guess that would feel a bit like bragging, so, I don't know that that's a great idea. I *do* like the monkey butt solution.
Re: Act II. I agree with the previous person who said that you both react with such grace. I think I would have spoken directly to the little girl: "Gosh, you're mean!" Good for the other Plano mom and the little girl who didn't laugh. Awesome to see that not everyone behaves badly.
Rob, since you were never a girl, I just want to tell you this: girls are mean to other girls. Even beautiful, neurotypical little girls. Its just how girls are.
Yes, of course Schuyler will face different challenges because of her monster, but please don't kid yourself that "none of this would happen" if she was perfect in every way.
Speaking as a girl, I can tell you: Girls are mean, mean creatures. If it wasn't this issue it would be something else: her height, her hair, her eyes, her voice, her feet, her boobs (sorry), her brain ... every single girl ever born goes through this. Julie, I'm sure, went through this. And Schuyler will to. And she'll survive it. Like we all did.
Rob, I commend you. Please, please, PLEASE continue to teach Schuyler that she doesn't have to 'take' mean - as long as she's fighting back, through Pinkessa, in her mind, in her heart, whatever - she'll be OK. Of course, you can still do the whole 'bullies are sad people inside and we should pity them' - if you feel you must - but please let her know it's OK to stand up for herself. God help me, I took abuse my entire school life and was told to 'laugh WITH them, that way they're not laughing AT you'. Bull****!! And I've taught my children that, while they are never to strike the first blow (verbal, of course), I will always support them for defending themselves. My most recent advice (for my tiny, looks-like-a-four-year-old daughter (who is 9), when asked, "Are you a midget?" was to respond - "I can grow taller, but you'll always be a jerk." I don't believe that she's ever used this, however - like the 'monkey butt' comment, just having it in her little mind helps her to stand taller - emotionally, at least. Go Schuyler!!! Even adults have to learn that not all the world will like them and that people can be mean. But your spirit will win through - and you have an amazing number of people who love you and will always root for you.
Haters gonna hate, Schuyler. Haters gonna hate.
http://www.gifbin.com/982918
That little girl in Act II sounds a lot like Veruca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - a bad egg that will hopefully not be sent directly to the incinerator when she's dropped down the bad egg chute. And of course, our hero is Schuyler who will inherit the entire chocolate factory for being the pure and honest soul.
I know that there are many bad eggs out there, but I believe that the world is changing - becoming more enlightened - and those of us with kind hearts will outweigh those who rightfully smell of monkey butt. :-)
You both are such great parents. It's not easy when kids are mean to your kids. I'm not a parent, but I've experienced all kind of mean people from Kindergarten to now (24, friendless, and weird) There's never an easy answer. It's shitty. I'm sorry that I don't know what else to say. I'm terrified to have a girl, because I know how horrific school was for me; it was the girls that hurt me the most.
We're not even remotely to the point where my Marissa has to deal with cattiness (other than her actual cat, of course), but I think about it, and I fret about it.
Marissa's off to school in the Fall. She's probably ready, but I know I'm not.
Not to minimize what's happening, because what you've described is heart-wrenching, but have there been any physical atercations? Pushing or anything? At that point it becomes more than "bitches will be bitches".
As a former "broken" child-- I'm deaf, but was mainstreamed for my entire education-- I know what it's like-- girls are mean, and they'll pick on whatever differences they can. One thing my dad told me has stuck with me to this day-- and I'm not entirely certain that's a good thing, but it did make my life easier-- he told me that not everyone was going to like me (or understand me), which is too bad-- but that that meant that I didn't have to like everyone. Sounds simple enough, but it really took the pressure off of interpersonal communications for me.
As someone who has her own monster (Asperger's syndrome), I know what it's like -- what it's like not to know, and what it's like to find out what they mean.
This may seem irrelevant, but to me, this quote from my all-time favorite episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation resonates so deeply with this experience, that it always makes me cry. Maybe that's why it's my favorite. It's a dialog between Data (the android) and his daughter, Lal.
Lal: Father - what is the significance of laughter?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: It is a human physiological response to humor.
Lal: Then judging from their laughter, the children at school found my remarks humorous. So without understanding humor, I have somehow mastered it.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: [... ] Lal?
Lal: Yes, Father?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: The children were not laughing with you, they were laughing *at* you.
Lal: Explain.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: One is meant kindly, the other is not.
Lal: Why would they wish to be unkind?
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Because you are different. Differences sometimes scare people. I have learnt that some of them use humor to hide their fear.
Lal: I do not wish to be different.
So sorry to hear this...I am sure you have dreaded this day. Girls are cruel to each other, and even crueler to the 'different' ones. I am sure that you and Julie will always be her soft place to run home to....
I was thinking that the whole play had nothing to do with her monster. These scenes occur in the lives of children without monsters. However, no parent could have handled both acts better. Barbara
Children, especially girls, can be the most wretched of creatures ever given life as they go through the tween and teen years. No one makes it through middle school without scars. at least no one that I have ever met. I love the way Schuyler considered the source of the comments and decided that she was a smelly monkey butt. Perhaps there is a way on Pinkessa to create a page of "quick responses" to rude comments? As for the girls at the movie theater, I applaud the way Julie handled it just as I applaud the way you handled the smelly monkey butt. Schuyler is still so innocent, as she should be, and by the time that gives way to comprehension she will be ready to take on that monster too with her usual style. Quite simply she kicks smelly monkey ass.
They actually make monkey butt powder- pink container and all for the girls- we gave it to my daughter for christmas.....lol
Schuyler is awesome!!
This breaks my heart. I am so thankful she has wonderful parents who not only will teach her to stand up for herself, but will stand up with her.
Julie did the right thing. A sit-down discussion at some point about what constitutes friendship will be very important to help her deal with the two-faced. The most important thing you can verbalize is probably, "Not everyone who talks to you is your friend. Your friends will not insult you to your face and laugh about it. They will not make fun of you and then say, 'We're just having fun.' Ask yourself: Are you, too, having fun? If the answer is no, kick them to the curb." She does not have to put up with that, and I suspect she won't. Your friends don't use you as cheap entertainment, and they usually stick up for you no matter WHAT is said. That's the standard.
Ouch :(
I have no advice beyond what people have already said - that girls are profoundly mean and continue to be bitchy well into their teens. But I empathise because I was bullied horribly, and at least some of the time it was this bullying occulta, where they pretend to be your friend just so that they can laugh at you :(
I'm really glad Schuyler has such awesome parents.
I love how you handled Act I, by how you reaffirmed that Schuyler is not stupid (with facts). And no matter what amount of teasing goes on in her life, having a loving home life will boost her self-esteem enormously. There is nothing that means more to a child than a parents love for them and each other.
Secondly, as a formerly teased child (for being ugly--which hurts to this day). Please let her know that words can hurt and it is OK to feel that hurt for a short time.
Luckily, my kids have not been teased (yet--knock on wood), but I explain teasing like this: kids only tease other kids when they feel bad about themselves or when they are jealous of other people. Those kids bring themselves up by bringing others done (misery loves company). But my kids know that the teasers can find other means to make themselves feel better and that teasing is just mean.
It is, of course, really none of my business but I think you were right in programming that into Pinkessa. Ignoring for a second that it's probably true, the fact of the matter is, if she could, she would just say it. Censoring her by means of the way she communicates doesn't seem fair.
That's why in a few years when she starts programming more - how can I say this delicately? - harsh phrases in I'm totally gonna be Team Schuyler. :)
Candace I really liked how you handled the Girl Scout meeting with Faith. And Julie, BRAVO for Act II--good answer and all the information Schuyler needed at the time. However, I'm not satisfied with Plano Mom's response. Anyone? What should she have done to make it a teachable moment for her child and guest, while making it a more comfortable moment for Julie and Schulyer?
I must go back to what Candace said, above. The easiest and most compassionate way to create more advocates for Schyler is through confrontation and education. These mean girls are testing when they tease, checking with their friends to see if the teasing is "ok" Confronting these people, calming their fears and clarifying the situation, will help them to identify with Schyler and stand up for her.
I grew up with a disabled mother, who was in a wheelchair. I was frequently mortified in childhood as she drew attention, but she would always, when she saw a child (or adult) staring at her, smile, say hi, and engage them in some way, often asking f they had questions about why she was in a wheelchair. Mean people were chastened, curious ones satisfied, she became "Shelly" instead of "that woman in a wheelchair".
-e-
Yes, anon, I agree Plano mom should have handled it better. She could perhaps have taken a moment to explain about some of the reasons Schyler has trouble speaking clearly, then ask her daughter to imagine how frustrating that would be, followed up by a little intro to pinkessa's helpfulness and coolness. Follow up with a common ground compliment about Schuylers cool shoes (I'm sure she was wearing some)
-e-
Damn brats!
Also -- check out Rosalind Wiseman's book, Queen Bees & Wannabees. I forgot to mention this. It was the basis for the movie Mean Girls. Every edge, man. Every edge.
This is heartbreaking. :( Kids, girls this age especially, can be very cruel. I love that Schuyler was able to laugh about Act 1.
As far as Act 2- Plano mom should be ashamed of her daughter, but more-so herself for how she handled the situation. Even before I had first hand experience in parenting a special needs kid, I would never have let that moment go the way she did. I'd have been mortified and falling over myself to apologize to Julie for one thing. And you can bet the last thing we'd have been doing is continuing our outing to a movie! Honestly, it floors me that she was able to sit in the same movie theater with Schuyler and Julie after witnessing her little monster at work. In my experience, mean kids are usually mean because their parents are too.
Julie handled that situation SO much better than I would have. What a great mom, to be able to keep that sadness to herself, knowing that Schuyler didn't notice what her "friend" was doing. Especially given that Schuyler tagged her as the mean one instead of devil girl. :( Big props to Julie from me!
Rob and Julie,
You two are top-class parents. Don't give in! You are a blessing to Schuyler.
This is from a 62-year-old who was partially deaf just about all of his life and had many battles (a few literal, most are figurative) to fight about this handicap.
What disheartens me is that there are so many mean people in the world. And it's not just kids...I think adults can be even worse. I scoff at things like "autism awareness" because very few adults are at all tolerant of autistic people. Anyway, I wish Schulyer could meet my daughter who loves everyone and gets her feelings hurt often by kids who are mean (and yeah, I'm raising one kid who is not as sensitive as I wish he would be, and I'm working on that...).
Does Schuyler read your blog?
People are dicks.
Rob,
This seems like an awful hurdle - and it is - but sometimes I think that if I could go back and talk to my childhood self, the message I would give her is that this too shall pass. Our broken hearts heal, and we find friends who love us unconditionally for who we are. Schuyler will too.
-Beth
I wonder what Plano Mom did after meeting Julie and Schuyler. I hope she took her daughter to task about how she acted. She may not have, but I hope she did.
I was bullied a lot as a kid, and it was mostly by other girls. It sucks, big time. I wish my parents had had the grace and wisdom to handle it as well as you and Julie do. It might not have changed the bullying, but it would have changed how I reacted to it, which would have made a huge difference. I think Schuyler is lucky that the two of you are so cool, and that you're giving her the tools she'll need to face the mean kids.
Oh, this hurts my heart to read. And I have a little girl with special needs who may face this someday too. The other responders are right--kids can be so cruel!! Even kids who are basically good kids and taught correctly can and do say cruel things sometimes in front of their peers. Julie is such a good mommy for absorbing the brunt of the 2nd "act." I hope "Plano mom" had a serious talk with her girl after they left!!!!
Rob, After meeting you all over the past year or so, I believe that your strong family and love will provide the strength for Schuyler to not care about the sticks and stones.
Best, Sam
As one who was driven to attempt suicide as an adolescent due to constant bullying, I applaud you and Julie for your handling of the situation. I know you'll continue to do everything in your power to make sure Schuyler knows at every level what a non-loser she is, and how little the opinions of such small-minded gits as these bullies really matters.
Just found this while passing through my list of regularly read blogs, and my heart breaks to remember what miserable, vindictive, truly horrendous creatures preteen and adolescent girls can be when you're somehow "different". At the time I wasn't mature enough to just let it pass (or nervy enough to tell them to go take a flying leap for themselves off the nearest high bridge). However, fortunately we all eventually outgrew that stupidity and life somehow got better. I still fight with these leftover monsters on occasion (as one who's got a handful of labels/glitches/is not even close to "neurotypical"), but these days most of it is internal. I have educated many through the years on my particular, kinda warped neurology. I suppose we've called a sort of uneasy truce at this point. It always helps to have support behind you, and from what I've read of yours (both here and also your book, which was awesome), Schuyler has a great "cheering section" behind her.
And FWIW, people who only want to be your "friend" to turn around and ridicule you aren't worth having in your life. Been there, done that. Real friends will join in when you're poking fun at your own situation, but they will not laugh AT you because of it. That's not an easy lesson to learn.
The "monkey butt" thing just about had me ROTFL, BTW! I get some really funny glimpses of your slightly warped sense of humor here, and I see times when it seems like Schuyler has inherited some too...which I get such a charge out of! Almost nothing is more valuable in dealing with life's insanity and challenges than a slightly off kilter sense of humor...
There are lots of monkeys' buttholes out there. Good for you-- that's being a good dad. Sometimes kids just need someone else on their team-- she's a lucky girl. PS- I hope Swee's ok.
Do they have an anti-bullying program at her school?
Karma will get the little bitchy girl. I have a 4th grade boy-has a few issues-very naive. In dealing with his class-I can tell you that the girls-not all-but a lot of them are just bratty and have no clue. Don't blame the girls though-blame the parents. Parents just assume that their kids will know how to be nice. You have to beat that shit into their heads-and most parents don't want to deal. If that girl was my daughter? I would have grabbed her and taken her home. She would remember not to treat people like that. Oh yeah-she would remember for sure.
Aahhh, that sucks!
Does Schuyler's school have an anti-bullying program? It might be worth it to bring it to the attention of the school. I know that my daughter's school has generalized a particular incident and used it in later classes. That way it isn't tattling, but it does bring up the behavior and make it clear that it isn't acceptable. Elementary school isn't a bad place to do this. It's a bit tougher in middle school.
I love the way you and Julie handled it.
tami
Unfortunately, Schuyler probably knows (but wouldn't tell her dad) that going to a conference in Nashville with a bunch of adults is not nearly as good as having friends her own age.
That said, I'm aghast at the mother of the girl who was mocking Schuyler at the movie theater. Didn't she realize what her daughter was doing? Did she think they were all just playing around and it was okay?
Unfortunately, Schuyler probably knows (but wouldn't tell her dad) that going to a conference in Nashville with a bunch of adults is not nearly as good as having friends her own age.
I wasn't aware that she was being asked to choose between the two. Especially since she'll be visiting the zoo with a groups of kids her age during the conference while I attend the workshop itself.
I always wonder of those judge's robes are as hot and scratchy as they look on tv.
Tell Schuyler to remember something: She's piloted a plane.
Losers don't fly planes.
Thanks to social media, it might not be as bad when she gets older..these kids will be online soon enough and will get a glimpse of Schuyler's many many allies..I imagine she'll have her own Facebook/Myspace army.
No excuse, but girls are so, so cruel to each other during these years. I was picked on for having huge ugly teeth in huge ugly braces.
It's no consolation but I *adopted* a beautiful, popular child who is in 6th grade. I cannot believe it. I watch her like an anthropologist studying a different tribe.
But I will tell you that even the leader of the pack girls are eaten up inside with self doubt and nerves. There's always someone that's just a little "cuter"; a boy who is just *that* much out of reach (instead of being in a different galaxy)..it's just a terrible stage to go through.
Rymer asked about Schuyler today and my immediate response to him was, "she's kicking the world's ass as always" then I remembered this post and filled him in on the three camps of girls ages 10-13. There's the mean girls, the picked on girls, and then there are sadly the girls who are uncomfortable with the meanness but not brave enough to say, Enough No More to their meaner friends.
As a boy, even one who's had numerous best girl friends, he was confused, until I filled him in that the reason few girls play chess or Command and Conquer is because they are too busy viciously waging campaigns to decimate their peers. Rymer's biggest concern was, "Schuyler is cool, cooler than most kids, she definitely dresses cooler than the girls at my school, TELL ME SHE'S NOT A MEAN GIRL!" when I read him your post he was livid. He said he wished he went to her school..seeing as my 11 year old son is 5'6 and 160 pounds, I'm guessing that even if they weren't put into place by his ability to be as verbally decimating as any girl, they'd be intimidated by his sheer size. He reminded me that he has plane fare credits and wanted me to tell you that he'll play big protective brother to Schuyler when and if she ever needs it :)
Like he said, "parents have no power on the playground..it's a kid's world and only a kid can check another kid"
Oh and he also wants Schuyler to know, "You FLEW A PLANE?!!! Jealous!"
I just finished reading the book Schuyler's Monster. It was very well written. As an adult with her own monster (visual impairment, CP, and seizure disorder), I appreciated much of what you said about Schuyler's growth and development. I'm glad you have found a school district that embraces AAC technology and a teacher who is willing to let her use her device in class. Reading about the summer school teacher made me very upset on her behalf. It's similar to VI kids not being permitted to use their white canes in school because the vision or mobility teacher doesn't know that using the white cane is safer for everyone. I hope things continue to go well for Schuyler and your entire family.
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