Schuyler was writing sentences using spelling words for a homework assignment the other day. I popped by her computer to see how she was doing. One of the words she had to use was "bleed". She had a sentence on the screen.
"I bleed the people."
When I asked her what she meant, she just laughed, and kept laughing as I tried in vain to get an answer. She eventually changed it to something about bleeding when she lost a tooth, but I don't know, when your little girl writes "I bleed the people", it's hard to let that go. When she embarks on her future as a brutal despot, don't say I didn't warn you.
-----
Schuyler has been such a constant presence in my life for the past ten years that it's hard to remember what my life without her was like. It's strange, thinking that she never heard me play trombone in a performance (something that she should perhaps be grateful for), or that she never met my first wife (again, something... well, you know). The first thirty-two years of my life had no Schuyler in them, and in all the most significant ways, I feel like they were preparatory years.
But in the past ten years, Schuyler has changed, a lot. People who meet her now see a completely different person than the ethereal, sweet but disconnected little girl I described in my book. They probably think I'm a crappy writer, and they may very well be right about that, but it's not because I didn't describe her accurately at the time. She's changed dramatically in the last three or four years. She's growing up, and becoming the person she's going to be.
She's changing still.
Those of you who have met Schuyler and interacted with her for short periods of time might not believe this. Those of you who have spent a little more time with her may have an inkling of what I'm talking about. She's always been a happy kid, friendly to a fault and energetic to the point of manic, but for the past few months, maybe as long as half a year or so, Schuyler has had occasional but intense lows. She'll start crying for no apparent reason, particularly when I'm away on trips or at work late. She's always tested Julie in different ways from myself, and I suppose that's normal. But in these past few months, she's been sad, sometimes hysterically so. Recently, I've gotten to witness more of it myself, rather than just hearing about it.
Schuyler just turned ten; a few weeks ago, we bought her first training bras. (Yeah, you can imagine how well I took that particular milestone.) As her behavior became more erratic, I think we chalked it up to normal, hormonal changes. But in the past couple of months, and particular the past few weeks, the cloud over Schuyler's mood has darkened. Her emotional state, previously unflappable, has become more tenuous, even sensitive. Perhaps this is what most of you have dealt with in your own children, but it's new to us.
Sometimes when we asked her why she was crying, she would bring up some injury or slight from a classmate, but often these were from days before. I don't believe she was trying to hide anything from us. I think that she was grasping for an answer, trying to reach back to something that made sense, to herself as much as to us.
I don't know why it never occurred to me, of all people, that something a little harder than pre-adolescence might have been at work. The little red flag didn't pop up until I asked her why she was so sad, and she answered "I don't know!" Not defiantly or dismissively, but with real confusion, and a look in her eyes that seemed to ask me what exactly was going on inside her heart.
That's the answer she gives now, when she doesn't have an injury to fall back on. Earlier this week, after hitting her funny bone at school and crying on and off for the rest of the evening, she started off by saying her elbow hurt, but after a few hours and no apparent physical damage, she simply answered "I don't know."
"Schuyler," I asked, once it had occurred to me, stupidly late but finally, "Do you ever feel sad and you don't know why?"
She looked at me, quickly and wide-eyed, as if I'd said something wise, something that had been in front of her all along but had somehow escaped her own realization. "Yes, Daddy."
"I do, too," I said. "It's okay to feel sad. And you can tell me any time it happens, okay? You don't need a reason. I'll always listen to you when you're sad."
She's been hugging harder than usual lately, too.
I don't know much about hormones and little kids, and certainly not little girls. I think I'm probably overreacting, which is my fatherly duty in all things, of course. I do know that when I was Schuyler's age, I'd first begun to experience the dark clouds that came to visit me with greater intensity as I got older. I didn't know what it meant at the time, and none of my own family seemed to notice, which surprises me a little, in retrospect, since my own grandmother killed herself a few years before I was born.
But then, it took me a long time to accept the possibility that Schuyler might just possess one of my own monsters for herself, and that it might just be waking up.
So yeah, I have no idea if Schuyler's simply like every other kid in the world her age, and maybe she's just growing up and living more fully in a world that's not always very kind or easy to understand. It's hard, though, watching her find such emotional valleys now and again, especially seeing as how they contrast so sharply with the genuine highs that have defined her throughout the first decade of her life.
I've been reading a great deal over the past couple of days about childhood depression, and while it's easy to scare myself with the lists of symptoms, I also have to admit that they sound pretty similar to the normal behaviors of little kids who are standing on the edge of adolescence, staring into a future they can't possibly understand. I read about the circumstances in a kid's world than can trigger childhood depression, and they sound an awful lot like Life.
But I have to admit, when I read about depression being caused in part by physiological stressors and genetic vulnerabilities and, God, difficulties in successfully communicating, I feel a real squeeze of fear in the very center of my chest.
I've struggled to understand Schuyler's monster for seven years now. Now I'm facing the glimmer of a possibility that she might be carrying another monster as well, one that I may have given to her and which I understand all too well.
Understanding it doesn't help. I don't know how to protect her from this monster, either.
42 comments:
Rob...I so commend you for working so hard to keep the lines of communication open between you and Schuyler. It's hard enough when our kids struggle to communicate verbally in general but you are now coming in to a time in her life (tweens and teens) when it is doubly difficult to communicate their feelings. She trusts you with her feelings without question. Good on you for trusting her with yours.
Beautiful & harrowing post, Rob. The thing is, though... you DO know how to protect her from it, or.. really, "protect" isn't the correct term. But how to "deal" with it per se.... support. That's all you can give your little girl & that's what you've always given her or so it appears. You listen, you let her know it's okay to be sad (angry, confused, disappointed, frustrated, etc). As someone who has a very serious communication disorder (profound deafness until a mere 18 months ago) ---I must say that it does seem like ...even if she has a genetic predisposition towards your monster... that her other difficulties may be exacaberating it. And a social support network works wonders, especially one that includes parents that are genuinely trying to be open to what their child is saying. I remember my mother (as well-intentioned & wonderful as she is) telling me to just "suck it up" or "move past " the fact I couldn't speak & the sad everyday reality of people thinking a nonverbal person is dumb until proven wrong. How do I move past the one thing that continues to be a constant obstacle? I can't, though I keep a cheerful attitude. It may be that Schuyler's difficulties mixed with some genetic stuff plus the hormones.... yeah. Just keep an eye on her & continue to do what you do so well, Rob. My sympathies. I would encourage counseling or making sure her speech device is as updated with words/phrases as needed (to help prevent communication difficulties)...maybe even cards that say "I'm Schuyler. This device is my voice." (& whatever else needs to be added, as ridiculously paltry as it sounds) in case some a-holes aren't willing to listen to a machine at first, thinking she's just ignoring them when in reality she's trying to say something to them. Maybe have her draw pictures or do yoga (especially if you have a wii fit!) everyday. Physical & mental outlets do wonders.
Wow. *hug*
Oh, not fun. I'm sorry, I can imagine how this is making you feel. I'm 24, also have a communication impairment, and depression - generally well controlled with medication. BUT, every 28 days or so, at a certain point in my menstrual cycle, it breaks through and I find myself overwhelmingly sad on and off for 36 hours or so.
Years ago, when I hit the horrible hormonal soup that is puberty, this premenstrual depression-like thing was around a lot more. It wasn't fun, and with hindsight more than anything else I wish somebody had thought to tell my eleven-year-old self that the crappy feelings would eventually be under control one way or another, including that there were medicines that might help if I couldn't cope. I had no idea that it was possible that it'd change, or that if it was a problem long-term it could be medicated, or even just that other people got it too. So on that front, you're doing great. I'm so glad that Schuyler has you.
I feel for you right now, Rob. But do take some heart in knowing that as a species, we all have multiple demons to slay. I myself have struggled with depression since forever, and I can remember specific events as young as 6 that I'm sure rose some eyebrows of concern. Depression was then later compounded with dealing with PTSD, and the slaying just gets more complicated as we sit behind our shabby shields waiting for the next enemy to show its face. But survival is the force that weaves us, we can be tenacious little buggers. Just be there for her. I know that sounds helpless and horrible, but honestly, these are HER battles to fight. And they're not your fault, they're not her fault, they simply ARE. Share some of your strategies for dealing with your demon, distract her, take her for a drive, teach her about meditation, encourage her to play or exercise through it. But do talk with her about it so that she may have some things in her arsenal. I felt like I learned the strategies so late, and it's hard enough to employ them when you know they exist. And who knows, maybe she'll ignore them for awhile, or not know how to use them, but at least they were offered up. Good luck. I know this all sucks major balls.
We are watching all the time for this to happen with our elder son. Although he's 100% different from that mild PDD child, he's not NLD and disgustingly "normal" at 10. But he suffers from anxiety and we had him on meds from age 6 to 8, which helped a lot. He's meds free at the moment... but....
NLD http://www.nldline.com/
I would rather meet it head on and do what is necessary... even if it makes me uncomfortable.
I know nothing about Schuyler's emotions beyond what you say, but I will say that my E (who shares Schuyler's birthday, but a year younger) has always had bouts of inexplicable sadness (as have I), while my M, who is 13, was the world's happiest child--and still mostly is--until adolescence when she began occasionally to experience such bouts. This is just to say that there is something very normal about all this, though I do feel, in my bones, that M is going to continue to be a happy person while E will go up and down, as I do.
{*{*{*{*{*{Rob and Schuyler}*}*}*}*}*}
You're such a good dad. And having had your own experience with the Black Dog, you will be better able to help Schuyler identify and address that monster as well, just by being there and knowing how it feels.
I don't know if any of us ever make sense of depression or understand the why of it, or the how, but you've given her a "what" to latch on to and attack with the weapons at her disposal.
Don't beat yourself up for not catching on immediately, just go on with the knowledge you now have. I know with your understanding and support she'll be able to kick this critter's ass better than most of us in a lot of ways.
I am also the mother of an "other worldly" girls who just feels so much. She's always been that way, but now as the teens are approaching (she's 11), it has been amped up. I seem to catch the brunt of it (it's a mother /daughter thing). It very well could be harder on Julie. I can do no right, my husband can do know wrong. As far as depression vs hormones, we don't know. The other night in desparation I asked my husband if he thought she needed to see a counselor. His response: as long as she talks to us and feels safe with us, I think we're fine. Meanwhile I watch her careful and make joking sybil references after she goes to bed. My advice is keep being the awesome dad you are and love her. try not to project your own teen angst on her as she grows (really really hard, I don't know how to avoid this pitfall myself). You'll know if/when she needs more.
Has she been watching vampire movies?
I recently wrote a post on my blog about my battles with depression. I have always felt like the lucky one in my family because it doesn't totally own me.
You are doing all the right things. Keep talking to her and staying aware. It might be the growing up has her down. Trust me I teach her age group and I see it all the time in my students.
I'm so sorry that this monster, whatever it may turn out to be, is rearing its head for you all. As other commenters have already said, it may be normal pre-adolescent changes. Pre-pubescence is a very difficult time for many young girls; their bodies are responding to hormonal changes which they can't control. It may take some considerable time before you will be able to know whether this melancholia is just hormones or truly depression. Meanwhile, keep doing what you're doing; you're an awesome father parenting a remarkable girl.
Hi Rob,
I started my fight with depression around 10 too.
Here's the thing - you know what to do. You've been there. You know what you would have wanted when you were her age and this started for you.
I've thought about this a lot since it runs in my family. My kids are too young for this to be an issue at the moment.
Between potential depressive tendencies and becoming an adolescent, the world is going to be upside down for Schuyler for a bit. I really think the best thing you can do is explain that it is ok to feel sad or down and there actually doesn't have to be a reason. Everyone goes through that at some point! It's also ok for her to talk to you about anything, no matter what she thinks it means or how she thinks she should feel.
Just like any monster, knowing you aren't alone helps a ton.
R.
If this is another monster, or even if it is just the awfulness that is adolescence, she's got the best tools in the world for fighting it: a decade of love from involved, attentive parents, and (the critically important) permission to be who she is. What better foundation for coping could there be?
Actually, that's more of a serious question than a rhetorical one. How could you possibly do more than everything your intelligence and your heart drive you (and Julie) to do? Trust yourselves; I can't imagine how the three of you could stronger in any way that is humanly possible.
My daughter has been saying "I'm lonely" a lot, clutching me to her (this is VERY unusual, because as an Asperger's child she resists a lot of touch), winding my arms around her. She says this particular in the early mornings and late at night. I asked her once if she had ever been lonely at school or with her friends and she said yes, she had, sometimes.
It seems to me that this is a mixture of hormones (my daughter is 13) and the increasing awareness of not only her differences, but how they are separating her from other, "regular" kid, how she is perceived as different by others outside the family. Sounds as though some of this is what is going on with Schuyler as well; and what a very challenging set of feelings for them to deal with, and us to watch.
Her closeness to both her parents is her best resource during dark times.
ts heartbreaking to see a little kid sad, especially if it might be depression. I think though that the best thing you can do for her now... no matter what the reason for her sadness... is just to let her know you are always there with her, you love her, and you've got plenty of hugs available for her!
Great story… it made me tear up. My son, Parker, is 9 years old and has been diagnosed with Congenital Bilateral Perisylvian Syndrome and is pretty much how you explain Schuyler to be, as far as, speech and being sad.
I never really thought of it as depression, but you make a good point… I may not be asking the right questions from him, because I get “I don’t know” answers too.
It hurts as a parent to see your child sad and not have any idea what’s wrong, in fact, it literally crushes you. I wouldn’t say that Parker is always down, but he does cry a lot easier and get his feelings hurt more than my 4 year old does. I’m pretty sure that for the most part it’s because the world won’t stop to listen (verbally or through his aug com device) and it’s frustrating. It would frustrate any of us.
He wants to scream to the world and doesn’t know how.
Depression, nor suicide runs in our family, so I don’t think I would relate the sad feelings these children have to a genetic monster… I think they just need to find their voices in this world.
wow. Rob- we share the dark cloud monster- and I worry for my nearly adult children all the time- what was normal- what wasn't- When my daughter felt that way- I sent her to the shower- she was in there a really long time- so I went in and asked her if she was ok- she was huddled in a ball under the water- she turned her face to me and asked- "how did you know this would work?" maybe a simple shower can help you tell the difference?? I don't know- I still worry, too.
As the mother of three children, one of whom has severe disabilities, I often think when something new appears to "strike," that I'm going to get a pass (a tiny part of me -- o.k. -- maybe a big part --) because, after all, don't we all deserve it? Weren't the uncontrolled seizures enough? And while I know with my rational mind that this is not so and that anything, anywhere can happen and might, I do look for a break. I didn't want to write some long post filled with advice. I don't have any other than you should do what you do best: love your daughter, advocate for her in the same, beautiful way that you do now and take the next step. I am only familiar with epilepsy and seizure disorders and do know from my work in that field that depression can be more serious than the disorder itself, especially when it goes unrecognized. Courage to you and to beautiful Schuyler.
I can't imagine....Faith is only 6 and I fear this all the time. I am sure it must be more difficult for her to express and sort out those emotions. Those rough, rocky years are bear for all parents, I am sure.....
This same thing started for me around 12 or so. I used to describe it as having a cloudy brain. I hope you are considering sending Schuyler to a therapist! a lot of parents balk at therapy because they assume it will mean medicating their child, but that is certainly not the case. It may help her to talk to someone now and sort out her feelings and learn coping mechanisms/recognize the symptoms of her illness. Later, when she's older, she will be much better equipped to deal with those feelings on her own and decide whether she would like medication or not.
At least she has someone close to her that can relate to what she's going through. I'm lucky in that I seem to no longer suffer from the extremes I used to, but I wouldn't re-live my teens and 20s for anything. No high makes up for those lows.
I don't know if this is helpful, but what got me through it was a combination of finding something coming up that I wanted to live to do/see (and I made that a moving target - this is probably the more helpful part), and a crippling fear of death (aaaand this is the part that probably is less helpful).
Hey, scary and unreliable as that seems, at least I made it out the other side.
Y'all hang in there.
It's impossible to know at this stage whether the sadness is going to turn into depression, or if it's "just" hormones. So there isn't a lot you can do right now apart from watching and listening. However, it might be worth you doing some research now to see whether there are counsellors/psychotherapists who would be able to work with a kid who uses augmented communication. A lot of counselling for depression is highly verbal and I can imagine many therapists having no idea where to even start. Other types do exist, like play therapy, art therapy and dance therapy, but you'd have to find them. Then, if it does turn out to be depression, you'll already have done the groundwork rather than having to scrabble to find a professional who can help.
I remember a few years back. I was shopping with a friend and her 10-year old daughter. The daughter needed a new lightweight jacket. She didn't like anything and we went from store to store. Finally, she settled on something, but she burst into tears in the checkout line. I remember distinctly her saying, "Why am I crying? I don't even know why!" She laughs about it today.
Hormones can be powerful things. You'll all get through it. If it's more than just hormones and girl stuff, you'll know. Trust. You'll know.
Laura
Hi Rob
I can't tell you how much reading about your life with Schuyler means to those of us who have 'broken' kids. To whatever degree they are broken, they all need a hell of a lot from us in order to get through. Schuyler is now the age that my son (now just turned 15 and BACK IN REGULAR SCHOOL!!!!)started on Prozac. I have experienced a lot of ignorance from others about 'the Prozac generation' etc etc. All I can say is, you make the best decisions you can, as a parent, and to hell with the rest of the world. My daughter, who also has anxiety disorder but is not broken in the other ways my son is, has managed to learn coping strategies that do not rely on medication, however I will never regret keeping an open mind about it for him. Yes, it was a difficult decision to make - I'm just really glad that I had enough support that whichever road I chose was OK. Good luck - you guys will be fine. Ultimately, all you can promise your kids is that you will always hang in there for them, no matter what. Everything else, you have to figure out as you go along.
Rob,
My neurotypical daughter is also 10. She's about one month older than Schuyler I think.
It may or may not be helpful for you to know that we've been having similar episodes of crying and moodiness with no apparent trigger. When I ask Zoe what's wrong, she'll also tell me "I don't know." She's actually a very verbal and well spoken child, and she's been able to explain that she doesn't know why she feels so sad, and that's what scares her about it. She has said that sometimes she feels like her feelings are "out of her control."
It's possible that my daughter might struggle with depression as well, but there's also a lot going on in their little bodies. I honestly think that hormones have a lot to do with it.
Zoe has a book from the American Girl series, "The Care and Keeping of You," that has helped her understand some of what is going on in her body and how it might be affecting her emotional state. I don't know if you think something like that would be helpful to Schuyler as well, but it has made a difference for us.
Good luck. Girls are tricky even without the challenges you guys deal with. I imagine it's always going to be hard to sort out what's "typical" from what's not.
My daughter turned 10 in July. I have been reading for several years now, since you were still "darn toot'n" and our daughters have many similar qualities in spunk and interests. My daughter would be called neurotypical, but I have to say - everything you describe in this post is EXACTLY what is going on in my household. Went through a divorce last year and I worry and watch for depression having been through it as well. But while we always worry and your ability to determine hormones from depression will certainly be harder with Schuylers difficulty in communicating. I have to say, it seems pretty age normal based on my experience as a mom where everything these days is a bit more intense.
I keep coming back to this post as I can't get it out of my mind. I don't have any words of wisdom but I do hope everything works out. I am so thankful Schuyler has you because half the battle is having someone who understands and gets it.
I know this monster too. I had it when I was her age, and I have it still.
I didn't have parents that I could talk to about it. In my case I felt I had to hide my problems, because my family had problems of their own and revealing my troubles would only make things worse.
Not having to go through it alone would have made a big difference. Just being there will help.
The neurotypical kid in our house (just a few months younger than Schuyler) has recently exhibited exactly what you have written about. Sometimes the crying will last over a full day about something as small as her favorite sweatshirt being too small to wear, a folder from school ripping, or being reminded to go brush her teeth (thus missing precious minutes of Phineas and Ferb).
I do think a good deal of it is just hormones. A good deal of it in our case is also likely depression, given family history. All we can do as parents is do what you (and we) are doing - love them, give them permission to be who they are, and be ready to get help if needed.
The fact that you talked to her about it is the best thing you possibly could have done. I wish so damn badly that someone, somewhere, anyone would have talked to me about it, to make me understand what was happening. I wish that someone had noticed, that someone had understood, and not chalked it up to life. It sucks, I still deal with it, I'm frequently sad for no reason, and I wish I could tell Schuyler that she'll be okay - I might have issues, but I think I'm stronger for them. All my love to her, and to you. If there's any way I can help... please, don't hesitate to email.
i think my son started displaying his own monster (as you put it) when he was about 10 also. he'd always been a different, solitary type child, but in about grade 5, he would get so frustrated, or sad that he'd just burst into tears (which is even worse for a male child, i think). i denied what was happening for the next 6 years..because i didn't want it to be true. i didn't want him to be like me. i refused to see it. finally when he was about 16 i couldn't deny it anymore. the boy was depressed. severely. only, with a cruel twist that i have never experienced. not only was he have depression, he had MANIC depression. his bipolar was in full force for just over a year before we got it under control. now that he's "normal" again, looking back, i wonder how either of us survived it. Schuyler is a lucky girl to have such a great dad (and mom, too!)
I read this post with great compassion. I have my own dark monster that has followed me most of my life. But the thing that kept jumping out at me, the ONE THING that resonated in my mind the entire time I was reading...Schuyler is SO blessed to have a daddy who understands and is there. And I know with great certainty that if there truly is one of your own monsters that Schuyler has inherited as her very own, that you will and she will handle it with the greatest degree of finesse and courage that you have faced all the other monsters with.
Wow, tough stuff. Whether it's regular old pre-teen angst or something bigger, it's not going to be an easy monster to battle. But the fact that you recognize there could be something more under the surface is important. You will have to remain vigilant (as you always have) to see how it plays out, but as someone who has suffered from and has a family history of depression, I agree with everyone in that just being there for her and knowing it's a possibility can do wonders. Amazing how once again, as a non-verbal child, she has managed to communicate so much to you.
I've never commented on your blog before, but I read it regularly. I am always moved at how eloquently you explain your feelings and observations. Your writing inspires me, and so does your daughter.
Coming to the party late (well, using the word "party" very loosely), but I can't begin to imagine what a difference it would have made to me in my life if someone had told me at 10 that it's OK to be sad sometimes.
My girl says that a lot, too. "I don't know." She's 14 and this past year has been a huge struggle. I've just learned to give her extra love, listen when she needs to talk, back away when she needs space (NOT easy), and show her that no matter how much she yells or gets mad or says she hates me, I am never going away. She also sees a counselor now to have someone besides MOM to talk to about things. Other than that, I don't know what more any parent can do for their adolescent daughter. I think you are a great dad your daughter is blessed to have you
I glanced through most of these posts and didn't see anything like what I was going to "say" so I will say it. It's going to sound weird, but it's not unfounded... try going organic. I am assuming (not safe, but still doing it) that you drink regular milk and eat regular meat and chicken... just like 99% of us. I switched my kids (8 yr old girl, 6 year old boy) to hormone free organic milk and meats, and it has slowed the oncoming hormonal rage... okay, rage might be overstating it.
I know that I started puberty young (10) and it just didn't seem fair, and the more I read about the hormones we pump into our food it makes me wonder if there isn't some connection.
Of course, I am not saying this will SOLVE anything, but it might help a little, and it's a change that is easily made (expensive at times, but easily made). Just a thought for you... and good luck, and hey, welcome to one of the almost sort of normal typical things that happens to all kids. Keep up the good work...
OMG! Head for the hills! It's the HORMONE MONSTER! It WILL moderate after awhile. Me? I thank goodness for menopause, when it's mostly overwith!
I read your book a few years ago, and was touched by Schuyler's story. I'm sorry she's hurting in this way. I will pray for all of you.
I read Schuyler's story a while back, and have been checking in on your Blog now and then. I was sorry to read this development. You two are amazing parents and have an amazing little girl. I've experienced a lot of illness and this particular monster. May you all have wisdom as you deal with each new challenge.
I feel silly just finally finding out about your blog and commenting months late on things you may have written that you've solved. I'm just /that/ kind of person, dig?
To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't count it as another monster just yet. I don't think she's carrying any emotional disorders. I do believe that she is doing the same thing that average little girls do, and that is cry. A lot. And no, I don't feel like they need a reason.
I don't have kids. I especially don't have a ten year old daughter. But I do come from a catholic family, and an Irish family, so what I lack in children I make up in cousins, second cousins, and now third cousins. The change from "Kid" to "Teenager" is hellish. I'm not going to lie to you there. But I do know that it gets better.
I have a twelve year old second-cousin who cries frequently over everything and nothing at once. Over Christmas, I found her in her aunts upstairs bathroom, between the cupboard and the wall with a family photo album in her lap, sobbing. I thought maybe that she was looking at pictures of our grandmother who had passed away a few years prior, who was the center of our Christmas celebrations. I sat down in front of her.
"Kiersten, what's wrong?" I tore a piece of toilet paper free from the roll and offered it to her.
"I was just looking at pictures of you and Kacy when you were my age!" She took the toilet paper and blew her nose with a wet
HONK and then wiped her eyes on her sleeves.
"...And... That made you cry? I don't understand why that would make you cry."
"I'm the only girl on my cheer leading team that hasn't started wearing training bras yet." She confessed, and then dropped the photo album in front of me with a thunk. She pointed to a picture of our cousin Kacy, and to a picture of myself. "I thought maybe you guys were just late developers too but look, you guys had 'em when you were my age!"
It took me over an hour to calm her down, but then I remembered exactly what it was like to be a little girl. Frustrating.
So expect lots of tears, but at the same time, she'll get a lot easier, and shorter, and she'll eventually be able to express why she's feeling so sad.
It's just a girl thing! I'd only worry if it began lasting for unbelievably long times.
Hormones suck, especially when you get hit by your first big wave of them. Just give her a little time, and hug her when she needs it. Because trust me... If there is one thing a girl always needs, its hugs.
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