You'll note that I don't say "you should stop using that word". That's because I can't tell you whether or not you should stop. I can't choose your vocabulary for you any more than anyone else can, and I don't think I have the right to try.
But I hope you'll think about it.
To that end, I hope you'll take a moment to go read the thing I wrote about this topic last May, called "Just a word". And as usual, someone else says it better than I do:
Thank you! That's all.
ReplyDeleteI'm posting a link tomorrow to your essay from last year -- thanks for the reminder. I think it's still the best one out there.
ReplyDeleteWow...after reading both of these posts (the old one as well as this one), I had some interesting thoughts come to mind. One was of a time in high school where my father was telling the story of how a bunch of doctors were all telling him when I was born that I would almost certainly be "retarded" owing to a case of congenital hydrocephalus. (Obviously, doctors can be absolutely wrong about these things!) The other was of all those rotten (at the time I thought so, anyway) kids who gave me such grief for being different. (Not disconnected from the first moment, actually.) I love that you're out there fighting against the way people are so casual about using offensive words. I work very hard not to, as well, because I know how much they can hurt. Thanks a ton!
ReplyDeleteThat commercial dropped my jaw- as well it should. Hearing the slur juxtaposed next to others demonstrates the severity of the term nicely. Thanks for the reminder. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the "R" word reminder Robert! I do have to say I think a PSA from the Glee folks would be more powerful if they didn't regularly use terms like "fatty" on their show.
ReplyDeleteUpon further consideration, I'm pretty confused as to how Jane Lynch can spew all the hateful garbage she does as character Sue Sylvester and still put out this message with a straight face. One quote I found online: "Santana, Wheels, Gay Kid. Come on, move it! Asian, Other Asian, Aretha, and Shaft..." Not exactly in the same category, but hurtful nonetheless. I don't mean to detract from your message; I guess ending one slur at a time is better than nothing.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to disagree here. Using the term "retard" as an insult is wrong. Using the term "mentally retarded" as a synonym for "intellectually disabled" is not. It's the term that was used when many of today's professionals received their education.
ReplyDeleteWhen you make any word a taboo word that it is so terrible it can never be uttered, then everyone has to keep it in their minds so that they can remember not to use it. Therefore, it can't fade away and be forgotten in the natural evolution of language.
The problem isn't the word "retarded"; it's the baggage that's attached to it: Disrespect, dehumanization, low expectations, being seen as lesser in value than "real" people. It's that baggage that needs to be publically confronted and refuted, whenever it shows its face under ANY mask.
Do you know why the term "mentally retarded" was coined? It was because people were using the old medical terms-- moron, imbecile, and idiot-- as insults. And as soon as the new term became widely known, "retard" and "retarded" joined the ranks of schoolyard taunts.
Would you be willing to bet that the baggage couldn't jump ship to the phrase "intellectually disabled" as well? It's very old baggage, and it's survived a long time. I think it's a mistake to underestimate its survival skills.
Two points.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, yes, language changes. Of course it does. Language is a fluid creature; fifty years from now, people will be having this conversation about different terminology. I'm just not sure why that's a relevant argument against using the word that is now, in our society and our popular culture, a hurtful term.
Is it more important to address the deeper societal prejudices and shortcomings? Should we be working to improve how people with disabilities are regarded, not just referred to? Of course. But I'm not sure how that discussion and this one are exclusive to one another. Indeed, I feel like the discussion has been about WHY using those words is hurtful, rather than just "don't use that word". I've never been an advocate for banning language, and most of the discussion of this topic hasn't taken that approach, either. Understand the word and how it hurts those to who it refers, and then make your choice.
Secondly, there's a more basic point here. The people to whom the term is used as an insult don't want to be called "retards" or made fun of for being "retarded". It is hurtful to them, and that's not for anyone else to try to parse or judge. As far as I'm concerned, that's as compelling an argument as I need to hear.
there's a more basic point here. The people to whom the term is used as an insult don't want to be called "retards" or made fun of for being "retarded". It is hurtful to them, and that's not for anyone else to try to parse or judge. As far as I'm concerned, that's as compelling an argument as I need to hear.
ReplyDeleteExactly!
Reminds me a little of this quote from Christina H's essay about Jeremy Lin and racism:
"For sure, more resources and attention should go to the more serious race problems, but if making life a little less aggravating for Asian-Americans is as simple as not saying a couple of stupid things, why not do that, too?"
I agree 100% that we should be educating people against the use of "retard" and "retarded" as slurs.
ReplyDeleteI just think we should be open to the fact that people MAY use the term "mentally retarded" appropriately in a medical or educational context, with good intent. We can certainly remind them that "intellectually disabled" is preferred, but launching a verbal attack on them BECAUSE they used the "R-word" is unfair.
I just think we should be open to the fact that people MAY use the term "mentally retarded" appropriately in a medical or educational context, with good intent. We can certainly remind them that "intellectually disabled" is preferred, but launching a verbal attack on them BECAUSE they used the "R-word" is unfair.
ReplyDeleteWho's doing that?
I am happy to say I haven't heard anyone use that word in years! I am disappointed that people still do.
ReplyDeleteYour post brought a tear to my eye. As did the attached video.
Thank you. Your passion is contagious.
Rob,
ReplyDeleteRe: Who's doing that?
At the time of the kidney fiasco, (a girl was denied a kidney transplant because of developmental disability) a poster commented on the mother's article 'Brick Walls', focusing on the fact that the denying doctor used the dread term "mentally retarded" stated angrily that he should be fired for that alone.
Now, in that case it's clear that using outdated terminology correlated with even more outdated attitudes-- going right back to Nazi Germany's "life unworthy of life", as a matter of fact. But I just can't see that "using the wrong term" deserves equivalent outrage with "denying lifesaving medical care".
I also read on a mother's blog about how right after her daughter's diagnosis, she blasted some Knights of Columbus selling candy to "Help the Retarded" on the grounds that the "correct term is Special Needs". Okay, I can understand that she was in horrendous pain at that point in her life, but it DOES seem hard on the blameless recipient of the tirade.
Thanks for doing what you do, man.
ReplyDelete