You know, when there's a huge new event in the world, I always have to pause and see if I have anything to say about it here. After yesterday's events in Virginia, I didn't think I did. It was obviously as upsetting to me as it was to the rest of the country and the world, but that didn't mean I had anything particularly unique to say about it. I didn't think I had a personal reaction to offer about the effect of such large, remote events on my own small world or that of my family.
But then, I didn't expect to feel such a heavy sense of unease, such a stone in the pit of my stomach, as Schuyler got on her school bus this morning. I never felt such an urge to go outside and wave the bus away like I did today.
What a world we live in. So it goes.
Update: I just watched a CNN reporter completely lose his composure while he described the local emergency officials removing the bodies from Norris Hall as the dead students' cell phones were ringing and buzzing, their frantic parents tried to make sure that they were okay. I don't even know what to do with that image.
It's scary when you think about all the things you can't protect your children from.
ReplyDeleteI really think that all parents should be taught how to deal with panic attacks before leaving the hospital. Somewhere between the lactation coaches and checking to make sure your car seat is in correctly.
It's a sad thing when my husband (the police officer) doesn't want me to get a teaching certificate because he thinks it's to dangerous to work in the schools.
I felt the same way. Bad things happen. This time it was at a place where I don't know anyone. (When I was watching Columbine coverage I realized I probably knew a kid who was attending there. I was right. He was fine. He's in the army now.)
ReplyDeleteI didn't associate the shootings with anything in my experience. My husband did, however. A 40-year-old case of survivor's guilt or just the disturbing awe at being so near disaster. He wasn't the only one that thought of the Whitman Tower shootings. Several media outlets made the same connection and two (maybe three?) actually called him. One shot video of his thoughts in our backyard (local Fox) and ran it a few times over the evening.
We can not protect ourselves from all these things. Probably 100 people died in traffic accidents yesterday. We should probably wear seat belts. (Even if we are the governor of New Jersey.) But still. We are so helpless and random shootings are the least of it. But people who have experienced something like Va Tech never really get over it, I don't think. Of course, as my husband points out there was no such thing as grief counseling for survivors in 1966 and also a pittance of money was raised for the wounded. Times sure have changed.
What a world we live in, indeed. One of my good friends teaches in the Philosophy department at Virginia Tech, and thankfully I heard about the shootings from him so I knew he was okay. Still, I can't imagine what it must be like to be a parent of one of the kids who were killed. I feel like I just missed the knife blade of tragedy myself, knowing someone who was on campus when the attack occurred- too close, too close.
ReplyDeleteWell, that gave me chills!
ReplyDeleteThe greatest fear is that there is nothing we can do, as individuals or communities, to prevent such tragic occurrences. There is no security "system" that can be uniformly applied that will stop someone intent on destroying human life. It's not just trepidation when sending our children to school. Do we go to the mall? A ballgame? The office? As horrible as the thoughts are, we can't lock ourselves away for safety.
ReplyDeleteRe: Cell Phones.
ReplyDeleteThat was the image left for many when the Spanish trains were bombed - the cell phones of the dead ringing endlessly. In an age where we are so connected it is that final loss of connection that resonates. ~debsiobhan
I was in the car for 4 hours Monday night, into the wee hours of the morning, so I scanned all the talk radio shows to keep myself awake. One caller reminded the listeners to also remember those whose job it is to handle the aftermath. I got a pit in my stomach and tears in my eyes. I can't even begin to imagine what they're going through as well.
ReplyDeleteI held my feverish daughter tonight and cried, watched a news story about a local high school and a safety drill performed this week. The scenario was what they'd do if a gunman came into the school and started shooting. It was planned prior to what happened at Vtech, and they opted to go ahead with the exercise.
ReplyDeleteI know nothing I can do will guarantee her safety, but it won't stop me from wanting exactly that.