March 29, 2006

"Sorry Daddy"


Fairy in pajamas
Originally uploaded by Citizen Rob.
A few days ago, we took Schuyler to the mall for some much needed clothes shopping. While we were there, I found her a multicolored raincoat that was both sale priced and irresistible. When I make my move to conquer the planet, I won't use atomic bombs or mass mind control. I'll simply put Schuyler on television in this raincoat and say, "She'd like the whole world, please." The rest of you will have no choice but to comply, all the while issuing one giant planet-wide "awww..."

Along with the raincoat was a little matching umbrella. While she was mostly indifferent to the Amazing Technicolor World Domination Raincoat, Schuyler lost her mind over the umbrella. We got it for her, of course (because even without the raincoat on, I'm powerless over Schuyler's big anime eyes), and she walked around the mall with it like a dapper English country squire, albeit one who trips over her umbrella now and again.

Well, we made a mistake yesterday. We allowed her to take her umbrella to school, even though we knew better. She rides the bus to school, and then rides another bus after that to her after-school program until we go pick her up. If something doesn't fit inside her backpack, it tends to get left behind at some point. Sure enough, when we picked her up yesterday, she was sans umbrella.

I was pretty irritated with her when we got in the car, and she could tell. My friend Tracy once wrote of Schuyler that...

She worships her father. I don't know if Rob recognizes it as clearly as those of us outside can. Disappointing him causes Schuyler the greatest sadness you've ever seen. Eyes brimming, lip trembling, big shuddering sniffling sobs. It would be fully heart-breaking... if one had not just witnessed the particularly punk-ass behavior that got her in trouble in the first place.


I don't know if she worships me, but she doesn't like to disappoint, that's very true. I asked her shortly where her umbrella was, and she looked back at me with sad, sad eyes.

"Where is it, Schuyler?" I asked. "Is it at school?" Blank look. I sighed with frustration. "Tell me on your device, then. Where did you leave your umbrella?"

She pulled her Big Box of Words out of her bag and searched for a moment.

"Bus."

"You left it on the bus?" I said. She nodded, her lip sticking out just a bit.

I sat in silence as Julie drove. I heard Schuyler punching buttons on the BBoW. Then she hit the button to speak.

"Sorry."

I looked back at her, but she was searching for another word. She hit the speak button again.

"Sorry Daddy."

Did you hear that sound? That was my heart breaking in two.

15 comments:

  1. Oh.

    Sweet sweet sweet baby. Being raised by her fine parents to be a fine woman someday.

    Hug her for the girl who's lost many many umbrellas and other things and had to tell her own daddy "sorry daddy" an awful lot.

    Many kisses from Tennessee.

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  2. Oh, I think I'm crying. Give her a hug for me would 'ya! She is such a cutie!

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  3. Be strong - you did, after all, have a reason to be miffed. :>

    Our boys have the amazing capacity to break my heart with just an eyeful of tears. I forget why I thought I could be angry in the first place (usually), and am instantly reminded of how much I love them.

    Very aggravating.

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  4. All her teachers refer to their devices. "Use your words" only works if that's the only means of communication a kid has, and for all the kids in her class, that's not necessarily true. They all have different "words", but they all only have one device.

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  5. (Assuming that was a serious comment.)

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  6. I am so thankful that she has that BBoW. You both need these kinds of moments.

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  7. What a girl. At the right hormonal moment, I get all teary eyed over my cats. I can only imagine what having a daughter would do to me.

    I was hoping for a picture of the raincoat :o)

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  8. I've "lost" a million umbrellas and now I've got something like five of them in the car, because we keep finding them when we move stuff. I can definitely see being irritated at losing something that you just bought for her, and I can relate with her as well, being upset that she upset you.

    I think my wife is going to be the hard-ass and I'm going to be the pushover, once we have kids. I can already tell.

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  9. Purple hair, a gorgeous stripedy coast, and NAIL POLISH?

    I do believe she's READY to take over the world.

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  10. Yeah, someone at school or at the YMCA keeps doing her nails. I don't know, I just don't know...

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  11. Rob, she's priceless.
    Proud, proud, proud!

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  12. That made me cry. Sure, I've got PMS and all, but still. I think the saddest thing in the world is a kid that thinks they've let their parents down. No amount of punishment can match how they're beating themselves up.

    Then again, that's the proudest thing in the world - raising a kid who doesn't want to let their parents down. Just makes her more perfect.

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  13. Rob, I was telling my mom yesterday about the umbrella post, and

    she cried, too.

    (Back story: I told her about your wonderful family and the quest for the BBoW back when it was under way. Part of the money we donated came out of her Social Security check, because, and I quote, "That baby has GOT to have another way to communicate! There's no excuse for it!" She now asks me regularly for Schuyler updates because she's afraid of using the Internets herself; she fears she will be forced to look at kiddie porn. I don't blame her, really.)

    ANYway, after she was done crying, she said, "You tell that fellow and his wife that they are indeed doing just fine with that baby. She will unintentionally break their hearts probably twice a day until she's a teenager, and then she'll do it intentionally, but they're doing just fine with her."

    So. More tearful kisses from Tennessee, including some from a grandma who also hopes her grandbaby will grow up to be as magnificent as a little girl in Texas she's never met but loves anyway. (She also wants to find a cool raincoat like that for my niece, but we fear two cute kids in cool raincoats would create some sort of nuclear implosion of cute and smother us all.)

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  14. Well, now I'm crying about grandefille's mother crying! Stop writing so darn well, people! :-D

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