I left New Haven, Connecticut three years ago, in order to be closer to my family while we tried to figure out what to do with Schuyler. Looking back on the decision, it was, in a roundabout way, a very good one. Schuyler's box class wouldn't have been possible in New Haven, whose public schools were woefully unprepared for Schuyler and her monster. Leaving New Haven was the right decision. But it was also a sad one, saddest of all because of the friend I left behind.
I miss Dana. I try not to think about it too much, but she has been one of the closest friends I've ever had, and one of Schuyler's closest, too. I don't tell her enough how much she means to me; I'm not very good at goodbyes, and I probably left far too much unsaid with Dana.
But the thing I need to say most of all today is that I am truly, truly sorry, and that while I have no idea how I'd help if I were still there, I still feel like I'm a million miles away.
There are prople who you click with and carry around with you for ever, and it's those people to which it's way too hard to ever say goodbye. Not all the way, because that would mean that you expect to not see them ever again.
ReplyDeleteI left mine behind a year ago, and still feel the empty place very keenly indeed.
Thank goodness for the internets and e-mail and phone - they help.
As an aside - my "people" are in Connecticut too! Maybe we should introduce them to one another in our absences. :>
ReplyDeleteOh, I am so sorry for your friend! I bet you wish you could rush over and give that friend a big hug right now.
ReplyDeleteI lost my Grandmother the day after Thanksgiving. Even though we know as Grandchildren that we won't have them in our lives forever, losing them is still extremely painful.
I pray his suffering will soon come to an end. I am also so happy for your friend that she got to say all the loving things in her heart to him. The dying's sense of hearing is intact right up until the end, and I know he heard every word!
Rob, thanks for letting us know. I've read Dana casually since you lead me there, and I can only imagine how awful this is.
ReplyDeleteI saw your post title and hers at pretty much the same time, so I had a pretty good idea before I read it. I just sent her e-mail. Man, that sucks.
ReplyDeleteRob,I have been reading your blog for a while now, a silent voyeur so to speak.
ReplyDeleteAnd I would like to share this with you. You may not be there now, but you know that you are just a call away when it all goes pearshaped. You will be the one who can sit quietly and listen to the crying and the anguish. You can join in when the pleasant memories push to the fore. In her time of darkness, she will need her friends to be her torch, to shine the way forward.