If Schuyler feels comfortable with even a few people in a gathering, she's a social butterfly, and an explosion of personality. But it's different when she's on her own, with no supports and no comfortable narrative to follow. For Schuyler, with communication being as fragile as it is for her, her social anxieties can feed on her in ways I probably can't imagine. She's not on the autism spectrum, nor am I to my knowledge, but in those settings, surrounded by people she doesn't really know but who come at her with a startling familiarity, a kind of sensory overload shuts her down.
I get that way too - a few years ago, I remember a Thanksgiving family gathering when we were at my brothers' house, and everyone in the family showed up at the same time. My niece was two, and was a little shy with all of us showing up at the same time; she hovered behind her mother's legs for a little while at first.
My mother saw that - Mom's really good with reading really young children, and she tried to soothe my niece. "I bet all these people coming all at once is making you feel a little overwhelmed, isn't it?" She told my niece. "You know something, though," she said, pointing to me, "your Auntie Kim was just like that when she was two."
However, Mom hadn't quite picked up on the fact that I was huddled in a chair on the other side of the room, and thinking to myself that "yeah, Auntie Kim is 40 and she's STILL like that."
It's just a thing. It's kind of like aquarium fish - if you take a fish from the pet shop and try to put it into your home tank, you never just dump the whole thing in right away. You always have to let the fish get used to the new aquarium a little at a time - you take the closed-up bag and float it in your tank at home for about 20 minutes, then you open the bag and let in a little of the water and let it float another 20 minutes, then you add a little more water and wait another 20 minutes, and then a little more, and....and then after about an hour or so, the fish is used to the new tank, and you can let it go.
Some of us are just like fish. That's all, I think.
Hail fellow introverts!
ReplyDeleteI get that way too - a few years ago, I remember a Thanksgiving family gathering when we were at my brothers' house, and everyone in the family showed up at the same time. My niece was two, and was a little shy with all of us showing up at the same time; she hovered behind her mother's legs for a little while at first.
My mother saw that - Mom's really good with reading really young children, and she tried to soothe my niece. "I bet all these people coming all at once is making you feel a little overwhelmed, isn't it?" She told my niece. "You know something, though," she said, pointing to me, "your Auntie Kim was just like that when she was two."
However, Mom hadn't quite picked up on the fact that I was huddled in a chair on the other side of the room, and thinking to myself that "yeah, Auntie Kim is 40 and she's STILL like that."
It's just a thing. It's kind of like aquarium fish - if you take a fish from the pet shop and try to put it into your home tank, you never just dump the whole thing in right away. You always have to let the fish get used to the new aquarium a little at a time - you take the closed-up bag and float it in your tank at home for about 20 minutes, then you open the bag and let in a little of the water and let it float another 20 minutes, then you add a little more water and wait another 20 minutes, and then a little more, and....and then after about an hour or so, the fish is used to the new tank, and you can let it go.
Some of us are just like fish. That's all, I think.