I think that any growth on my part must be because of Schuyler, because of her own giant trusting heart and her fierce, unconditional love for me, a love that I am desperate not to win, because I have it already and always have, but rather to deserve. Schuyler gets up every day and she moves into the universe like a storm front, and her success or her failure on any given day is almost beside the point. She perseveres because it's what she has to do to be in the world. And so I try to put myself together as a kinder and more humane person. A better person. The father she deserves.
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| Schuyler and me, at the time of her diagnosis |
I feel you greatly underrate yourself, Rob. Sure, we are all flawed beings, I for one admitting I feel just the same as you, BUT to be someone that can not only love your daughter with every ounce of your soul AND to also put that love + growth into words + share it with the world? Well, I'd say you're definitely moving in the right direction, that's for sure. ;) It's official - she's changed you. And in return, you're paying it forward, in my eyes, and helping us all do the same.
ReplyDeleteI'm deeply inspired by your writing + on the tough days, I log on to see how you + your girl are doing, in hopes that I'll find comfort me to get me through whatever challenge it is that we have that day. And I can tell you, I never log off disappointed.