March 20, 2009

My thoughts on a dumb joke

Okay, so I keep getting email about President Obama's "Special Olympics" remark on Leno last night, so I thought I'd address it here. I don't seem to be seeing a lot of reactions from other special needs parenting writers on the subject, but I suspect that's because most of them see the big picture.

So here's my take, in handy bulleted form:
  • It wasn't a very clever remark, and it was obviously ill-advised. I'm not sure I found it outright offensive, but it was extremely disappointing. I was really surprised, and remain so today.
  • His quick response showed sensitivity, sincerity and an understanding of just how badly he'd screwed up. If nothing else, he at least understood how badly it would be taken, which is something, anyway.
  • Of the nearly $44 billion dollars in federal stimulus aid to schools that's going to be available to schools in the next month or so, $6.1 billion of that will go to special education, specifically to augment funding for the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act. This money can't be used by state and local governments to replace money that they allocate to special education, so it represents a real and significant increase in funding.
  • President Obama has pledged to fully fund IDEA during his presidency. (Congress originally promised to fund forty percent of IDEA, with the rest coming from state and local governments, but actual federal funding has never exceeded eighteen percent.) Will he deliver on this promise? I suspect, given his record so far, that he'll try a lot harder than anyone else who has occupied the office since IDEA was signed into law in 1975.
So my opinion on the Leno gaffe? Whatever. Given the choice between insincere platitudes from the likes of Sarah "I'm a FRIEND to the special needs parent; I'm one of YOU" Palin (who just rejected the part of the stimulus package -- $160 million for education -- that would have increased training for special education teachers in Alaska), and a president who made a really stupid joke while actually helping these kids in a real way, I think only an ideologue would choose the former.

And honestly, you should hear some of the jokes that special needs parents make when the rest of you aren't around. If the president makes good on his promises to us, he's welcome to sit at our table and share in our gallows humor, too.

42 comments:

  1. You know if Bush made that comment you'd be all over his ass.

    Palin increased special needs funding in her state.

    Would it be funny if Obama says he whistles at chicks like Mexicans? Would it be funny if Biden says he east watermelon like black people?

    Oh that's right, all these Special Olympics athletes were SUPPOSED to be aborted. My bad.

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  2. Really? That's the first response?

    I believe I called Obama's remark stupid. I also believe that a few months ago, I took heat from democrats for defending Palin's original funding of special needs in her state. (Granted, that was before I knew she would turn down money for those same kids later in order to score political points on the tee-vee.)

    And I'd love to know where I have written one word in any public forum whatsoever that even tangentially addressed abortion.

    These are my thoughts on a dumb comment.

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  3. Anonymous2:33 PM

    I agree with your points. I would only add that when I watched it played again, I realized that he was actually reacting to Jay's playfully patronizing remark about the bowling score- "Ohh you really did well" Doesn't make his reaction any better but it wasn't as direct and cold as I first thought. Again, doesnt make it better. Also doesn't make it front page news..

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  4. "You know if Bush made that comment you'd be all over his ass."

    That's right, because Bush has a history of insensitivity. Co-signing Abu Ghraib. People drowning to death in New Orleans, some climbing on top of their roofs praying to both the man above and the helicopter gods. On the day Katrina happened that son of a bitch gave John McCain a birthday cake. "Bring it on". The list of Bush miscues that I could produce would crush your feeble little world. Yeah, the comparison makes you look like a mescaline abuser.

    "Palin increased special needs funding in her state."

    BONG. Wrong, but we have a lovely parting gift for you on the way out. Sarah Palin slashed funding for special needs children by 60% in one year. (Alaska DOE Operating Budget 2008)

    Thank you for playing..

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  5. Anonymous2:40 PM

    There is no place for politics when humiliating a class of individuals. I'm sorry, I'm not understanding this at all. It's not a matter of "lighten up" either. It hit home this morning while my son was watching the morning news shows with me. My little guy still likes to wear his Spec Olympics medals to school and around the neighborhood, but I didn't have an answer for why the POTUS was making fun of disabled people. Insensitive, yes, but I think it demonstrates an elitism that is always right under the surface of Obama.

    Mr. Obama apologizes to the Shriver-Kennedy family -- members of which are strong Obama allies -- and pundits say, "Aw, but he apologized quickly, what a great guy."

    I do believe that Sarah Palin will *get it* far and long before Mr. Obama *gets it* by the mere fact that she is a parent of a special needs child, not because she's a Republican governor.

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  6. I've seen at least a dozen special needs bloggers express disappointment over this. While I tend to have the same attitude that you do (whatever, people make mistakes) it does tell me that those with special needs aren't foremost in his thoughts. And that's only because he doesn't have a special needs child of his own.

    And get this - I am not an Obama fan. I'm not just giving him the benefit of my loving kindness.

    I applaud him for issuing an immediate apology.

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  7. (My September post addressing Sarah Palin and special ed funding in Alaska, for reference.)

    Mekei, I sincerely hope your son's feelings weren't hurt by what he heard on television. I wouldn't categorize the remarks the same way you do, but then, I'm not you.

    But a thousand times more than that, I hope your son's educational needs are funded adequately in the future. If you listen carefully to the public debate going on in local and state governments right now as the economy worsens, I don't think you'll be encouraged.

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  8. ...it does tell me that those with special needs aren't foremost in his thoughts. And that's only because he doesn't have a special needs child of his own.

    So pragmatically speaking, what's the answer? Increased awareness? I suspect he's getting a Big Box of Increased Awareness today.

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  9. Anonymous2:58 PM

    what was the dumb joke? I didn't see Leno...too sleepy.

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  10. I suspect so. And being an intelligent man, he won't make that same faux pas again.

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  11. Anonymous4:03 PM

    I appreciate your comments, Rob. Sincerely. I only know what I experience and can put into words (not as eloquently as you, however.) All I know is that many of my Rep & Dem friends don't have the first clue about what parents of 'broken' children go through. 'Awareness' is the close as we're ever going to get, but I'm not optimistic disabled jokes will reach the level of PC-ness that racist, sexist remarks do.

    As far as education funding, I live in NY where per pupil expenditures are pretty high (and so are the taxes). I've sat through many a school board meeting where *those darned special ed kids* seem to be "the reason NY taxes are so high." Total BS, but that's the perception of taxpayers who don't have a kid in the SpEd system. Unfortunately, those parents (and school board members) are in the majority and so the rhetoric persists against special needs students.

    The stimulus, so I've heard, has tied state hands in *hiring* new teachers, and as you said, will go to more *training.* I could be wrong, but that's sort of how it's been presented locally. That policy supports the unions retaining poor SpEd teachers, while perhaps not bringing in new teachers/additional providers with more experience in the special populations.

    Bush-Palin-Obama. I don't really give a frog. Treating the disabled with respect in terms of school, employment, and society, truly will be the next, and possibly most difficult, human rights campaign.

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  12. wow, this is so...reasonable. thanks.

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  13. i'm sitting at your table -- the gallows humor table, that is. and I'm posting your blog on my own FB page for a perfectly succinct answer to yesterday's faux pas. Bravo to you -- and what the hell are you THINKING, Nathania Johnson? Anything? Nothing?

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  14. Anonymous6:36 PM

    Ditto to Elizabeth's comment. I'm at that gallows table on a regular basis and it has helped me get through some pretty tough stuff.

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  15. WELL SAID, Rob. Like Karen mentioned, a lot of bloggers who have kids with special needs have written about this, most of them having an angry knee-jerk reaction to the thoughtlessness of the remark. I didn't even bother writing about it, it's been fascinating roaming around and reading the comments.

    You always have such a sane perspective on things.

    If I didn't have a kid with cerebral palsy, I probably wouldn't have been nearly as bummed about this. I get how he could say something like this, and I forgive him.

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  16. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  17. Here's a note for future reference.

    If you disagree with me, post away. I'd rather see discussion of the points I raise here than a bunch of people just saying how they agree with me and how swell I am. There's a real dialogue that can happen here, and I'm all for it.

    But if you decide it would be cute to post something personal and shitty, perhaps along the lines of suggesting that I would boo kids at the Special Olympics, kids whom I work hard to help, you can expect two things to happen.

    1) I will delete your message.

    2) I will send you an email that says "Fuck you."

    Seriously. Fuck you.

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  18. Anonymous12:05 AM

    Wow, you've got some haters, Rob! I'm a little surprised -- given how smart your comments about the Obama gaffe are. A reader I didn't know I had commented today to point me in the direction of her "other favorite blog" -- yours -- and I take it as a high, high compliment. You're pretty terrific. And I can tell your daughter is, too.

    My 5 year old daughter Sophie has Down syndrome and she's pretty terrific, herself.

    My first inclination when I heard about Leno was to ask myself how I would have reacted if it had been John McCain who made the comment. I'm from Arizona, and in my day job (writer/editor at the alternative weekly paper here, Phoenix New Times) covered McCain for many years. I was feeling guilty, thinking about how I gave Obama the benefit of the doubt; that would not have been my inclination with McCain.

    I still feel a bit hypocritical, but not nearly so much after reading your smart take on the topic.

    What Obama does as our president is much more important than what he says on Leno - and lucky for us, he's clearly better at the former. I hate to be a killjoy but I wish our leaders would quit trying to do stand up comedy. None of them do it very well.

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  19. The difference between President Obama, and any of the Republicans mentioned: he was genuinely sorry for hurting people, and knew the joke was in seriously bad taste.

    Any of the others would mostly have been sorry about the damage done to their images.

    (For my part, I work with Special Ed kids every week. I still snickered at the joke.)

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  20. My knee jerk reaction was to be pissed. I am still mad but I do think that his apology was genuine.

    As a teacher and an uncle of a special needs student the bottom line for me will always be funding. Special Education in the state of California is underfunded.

    If Obama makes any kind of move to close that gap I am not going to worry about a moment of stupidity.

    Education in America could be a true agent for Democracy. Letting all children have a chance at a better life. To often it becomes just politics. All talk and boneheaded policies. Lets hope those days are drawing to a close.

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  21. I agree with you Rob... I think people are hyper sensitive. Blind people make blind jokes all the time... Lord forbid if a sighted person makes a blind joke to a blind man.. ect...

    He apologized even before the show aired. Good for him... It's over, lets move on. :-)

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  22. Rob, if you are ever in NYC you owe me a high five. This is a very sane take, that focuses on what Obama plans to do for the Special Needs community.

    It's not Obama's fault he doesn't have a child with a special need. He might not get it as well as some parents do. It IS his fault for making the comment, and he assumes responsibility for that. But trust me, he is getting one HECK of an education about it now.

    I was SO pissed yesterday when I read about the comment. He apologized immediately, he's making amends. The funny part is that he compared his bowling to the special olympics when, in reality, the special olympians bowl far better than he does. So really he was giving himself too much credit. He'd be lucky to bowl as well as some of the members of the special olympics.

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  23. Anonymous7:14 AM

    Interesting post! I am a mom of a 9 year old child with DS. I agree, he screwed up, apologized but I feel like he hit a nerve with me, and many others who are indeed commenting on their blogs. That sensitive spot can not be soothed with funds towards academics- perhaps with a consciousness raising campaign. The issue isn't the humor for me- yes we certainly all are not always politically correct- but the 'ism lurking under it, the elitism and(my own term) superiorityism. It saddened me and disappointed me. His apology is accepted, I believe he may be a fine man but he needs more education than most of our kids!Come read my post about it if you wish. This is not about politics but about social consciousness. Thanks for your time! I'm looking forward to reading more of your blog!

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  24. i cringed when he said this because i knew what the backlash would be. his support of special ed does not give him license to make this sort of comment, but it certainly allows me to cut him a little slack. who hasn't said something they wish they hadn't? yes,a president needs to choose very carefully. however, compared to some previous presidents, his "gaffes" are few and far between. his swift apology speaks to what kind of person he is. other presidents *still* have not apologized from many of the things they have said and done.

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  25. Anonymous7:31 AM

    I am on a few different listservs/blogs and what I am most dissapointed by is how we as people use this comment and our reaction to it to attack other people. I have seen some incredibly mean-spirited and awful comments lobbed at those who diagree with one viewpoint or another. I doubt President Obama is the only person who needs some sensitivity training in this scenario.

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  26. My kid participated in the SO Young Athletes program a few weeks ago (link). She had such a great time and it honestly bothers me that Obama would disparage something like that. I voted for him and a little mistake like this doesn't make me regret that for a second, but his choice of words was a mistake for sure.

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  27. "And honestly, you should hear some of the jokes that special needs parents make when the rest of you aren't around."

    Yeah, that. I'd have lost my mind a long time ago if not for that.

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  28. Right there with the previous comment. I have three children with special needs. Sense of humour is vital.
    But...I am not the president nor will i ever be..since I am Canadian..lol..
    seriously though..it was a dumb thing to say..he's human right.

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  29. And to the first response..come on..you are seriously comparing racial slurs to a innocent albeit stupid remark he made.

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  30. Anonymous12:21 PM

    I honestly have to say that I'm not angry at Obama and I probably wouldn't be angry had it been McCain who said that.

    Maybe they don't know.
    Maybe they don't know that special needs children can roll a perfect game of bowling. Maybe Obama will be greatly humbled when Kolan McConiughey, Top Bowler for the Special Olympics comes to the White House for a game.

    Yes, people can not know. They can not realize. They can be as sincere as possible, as meaningful and as kind, but they may not know and they may not realize until the error of their ways.

    I am a middle class, agnostic, straight, white young woman from middle , conservative Christian Ohio who is attending a liberal arts college and going for a degree in Fine Arts. I am surrounded by people who are different than what I grew up. Some of those people are mentally and physically challenge. Some of these people wear full Islamic clothing and keep their eyes down. Some of these people are from China, Africa, Germany, California.

    I have made mistakes simply because I did not know. Because I have never experience what knowing is and because until this point I rarely had a chance to. Maybe Obama just did or doesn't know the great things Special Olympians can do. How can we when NBC won't broadcast the event with the same fanfare as the real Olympics? A tragedy but a truth.

    Many Americans might just not realize what great things can be accomplished.

    Yes I am claiming ignorance as an excuse.
    Educate us.
    Show us.
    Lead us.
    And we will humbly take your hand and follow into your world.

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  31. Anonymous1:07 PM

    I'm shocked that first comment had the balls to post the name. Mangy mutt. Fuck her. I want to spam her shitty blogs. People like that need to go on a little island somewhere with nothing but baseball bats so they can finish eachother off.

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  32. ""I bowled a 129," President Obama said on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

    "That's very good, Mr. President," Leno replied.

    "It's like the Special Olympics or something," said President Obama."


    Okay, well, I've heard worse, it wasn't his best moment, but he said he was sorry, so I'm okay with it. Wont be the last time he'll probably say something silly. I mean, look at Bush and what he's said. He seems like the kind of guy who'll say sorry and then really go and do something about it. (But I don't care if you love him or hate him, you're stuck with him for four years.)

    I'd say something to the first commenter, but it's really not worth my time. (Even though it would be devastatingly nasty)

    Another great post, as always.

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  33. It's been a long time since we've had a really articulate President. I think Kennedy and Nixon were the last ones.

    I had hope that even though his policies are highly unsound that at least our new President wouldn't embarrass us by sounding like an idiot on regular basis.

    Sadly, Obama is worse that either President Bush when he's off a teleprompter.

    The Presidents Bush often misspoke, but they are caring gracious men who never restored to the sort of mean spirited bitching and personal attacks on private citizens that spew from the White House on a daily basis.

    http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/toby_harnden/blog/2009/03/20/top_10_gaffes_by_barack_obama_and_joe_biden_

    My favorite Obama embarressment is giving the PM of the UK a DVD set that was on sale at Best Buy. That was embarressing enough, but the PM can't even watch his new DVDs, because they are region coded for North America!

    It's totally fair for me to point out that this, like the Leno appearance, would have caused a firestorm if Bush had made such a Noob mistake.

    Did you know that no sitting President has ever appeared on comedy show before, beyond a few very short taped one liners?

    On a more pleasant note, I'm looking forward to your Bookpeople visit in Austin, I'm going to try and make it.

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  34. Let me revise and extend my remarks by saying that President Clinton is pretty articulate, I just wish he didn't lie so much.

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  35. Anonymous5:11 PM

    Let's look at it this way; now the Special Olympics organization has some leverage over Obama. I'm curious to see how much they manage to squeeze out of him.

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  36. Anonymous8:23 AM

    At the risk of offending people (and going a little off topic), I can't tell you how much I hate the word "special", and everything that goes with it. (And I feel somewhat qualified to say this; I'm the sister of an intellectually retarded woman).

    Specifically:
    - "Special" appears to apply only to children. God knows what happens when you turn 18 (or, let's face it, 13) and become less cute. Your needs certainly don't vanish.
    - It's more than a little demeaning. I'm for calling a spade a spade. I'd argue that any intellectually disabled person who understands what "special" means would also understand that there's nothing particularly "special" about their situation.
    - There's something about the Special Olympics that really bothers me - it's just not that far removed from being a telethon kid.

    Obama's remark? Definitely poorly chosen, but it beats Sarah Palin claiming to understand the needs of the "special needs" community. Less than a year into being a mother of a child with Down's Syndrome, she doesn't even know the half of it.

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  37. Anonymous2:37 PM

    Awareness and $1.25 will buy me a soda in the nearest vending machine.

    I will be more encouraged when politicians move beyond being 'aware' of the issues.

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  38. Also, it's worth noting that in asking for fully funded special education programs, no one is asking for extra special treatment. What we are asking for is a system in place for kids who need some extra help in order to provide them with just as good an education as any public school student should expect.

    For more, here are the requirements from the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 for a Free Appropriate Education for Students With Disabilities. It's worth noting that these requirements often fall far short of what these kids actually need.

    And if we as a society aren't willing to do this, then fine. But if so, we should stop pretending to believe in public education and let it be a "you get what you pay for" system instead. And then just sit back and wait for the Visigoths.

    It's that important.

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  39. It was an awful comment, and I was very sad to read of it the following day.
    However, I think that he will be thinking of and paying more attention to the special needs community than he would had he never made that comment. You are so right - he is getting a big box of awareness now, that he would not have otherwise received.
    So that is one plus, I suppose.
    This worried me more: The fact that this president, in his first 60 days, was considering a movement toward making the private insurance companies of veterans pay for service-related injuries/treatment.
    http://www.cnsnews.com/public/content/article.aspx?RsrcID=45117

    It is not going to happen - but still it scares me that this was even a thought of his. There are issues bigger than a special olympics comment people.

    I lost a little of my hope this week.

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  40. I'm sitting here in Australia, reading all this. As an Obama supporter (still) i was dissapointed. As a mother of special needs kids, i was very dissapointed. As a human being, i am not surprised. This guy you have, this POTUS, he's not bad, you know. Did you hear him mention people with a disability in his acceptance speech? Did you read his disability policy? He gets it. Mabye as a mother, Ms. Palin gets it too, but thing is, she ain't your POTUS.
    What this really shows is how ingrained society's attitudes to people with a disability - and especially to people with an intellectual disability - are. And if we are honest and examine our selves before our children came along and tought us a thing or two, what were our attitudes like?
    The guy made a stupid mistake, and he apologised. I hope he does play bowls with the Special Olympics team some time and sees for himself these guys are not to joke about. But all you see here is one of those slip-of-the-tongue things, and all it shows is how much work we have ahead of us to change society's perceptions. So, onwards and upwards, and isn't it grand this is an issue at all, and debated?

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  41. "The Presidents Bush often misspoke, but they are caring gracious men who never restored to the sort of mean spirited bitching and personal attacks on private citizens that spew from the White House on a daily basis."

    Uh, really? Wow. Just... wow.

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  42. Anonymous10:54 AM

    I'm physically handicapped and autistic, and though it was thoughtless I wasn't hurt. It wasn't mean, just stupid. Anyone with a disability has heard real insults, and this wasn't one of them.

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