He was originally purchased while Julie was pregnant so that he could ride around in my car with me and let me see if I could ever get accustomed to the name "Jasper" in case we had a boy. I couldn't, of course (could you?), but the name stuck, and after a period of rejection by Baby Schuyler, he eventually became one of her most treasured friends. She even insisted on a girlfriend for him. (They have a baby bear, too.)
Julie and Schuyler fell asleep on the big floofy chair in the living room tonight, and at some point, Jasper slipped from Schuyler's grasp and fell to the floor, met by the gaping, slobbery maw of Max, Schuyler's very very very bad little dog. The rest you can probably figure out.
I looked over and saw the tragedy unfolding before it could get very far, and I managed to snatch poor Jasper up and take him to the other room before Schuyler could notice. The damage wasn't horrible, but it was bad enough. Ears chewed, one foot stripped of its fur, and most horribly, an eye completely missing. Jasper had been disfigured to an extent that couldn't be fixed.
Well, this is one of those parenting moments where they don't exactly tell you what you're supposed to do, now isn't it? What's the right thing to do here? Let Schuyler face the ugly truth and see what her nasty little hellhound had done to her best friend? Or run to the mall and pray that the Gap (Jasper's port of origin) would carry another that looked like him and try to slip a new Jasper 2.0 past Schuyler? In general, I am all about letting Schuyler see the world in all its grandness and all its pain at the same time, but tonight, I just couldn't do it. Ten minutes to drive to the mall, five minutes in and out of the store, and a sly switcheroo after she had crawled into bed in which she accepted the doppelgänger under darkened conditions, and the deed was done.
We'll see if it worked in the morning. These little Gap bears all seem to be a little different (lovingly hand-crafted by Chinese slave labor, no doubt), and Jasper Mark II looks a little different from his now one-eyed predecessor. Julie and I aren't in agreement on this, by the way. She feels like Schuyler is tough and could deal with the truth. I guess I agree, but then, I feel like she gets to handle the tough truths a lot. I will say that if Schuyler isn't fooled and notices the difference, then I'll come clean with her.
As for poor old Jasper, I think I'll take him on the book tour with me, one last hurrah for the little guy, and then maybe get him an eye patch and seal him up for the future, to be given to Schuyler when she's older and ready for a foolish, sentimental gift from her old man.
This was a tough call. There are times for me, I suppose, when honesty in parenting takes a back seat to the preservation of the fragile world that Schuyler creates. I'm not sure myself if this was the right thing to do. I only know that there's a lot I'll do in this world, right or wrong, to make Schuyler happy.
Ahh...what are parents for, if not for this, sometimes? What you did was magical and just fine.
ReplyDeleteYou warmed my heart, as I'm sure you will others...and Schuyler's too, when you finally tell her.
Jennifer
Oh, poor Jasper! I feel a bit foolish getting weepy over a "silly ol' bear" (Okay, that would be Pooh, but you get the gist) but I totally get it. I think you should come clean w/S anyway...I think she'd understand and even appreciate that you wanted to spare her the pain. ANd then she'd give you one of her famous looks that says "What were you thinking, anyway?" BAD, MAX! BAD, DOG!
ReplyDeleteI think time will prove you did the right thing.
ReplyDeleteJust don't let Jasper #1 go, please! Just in case she wants him back. I still have my bear from when I was a baby (I'm your age now). He's threadbare, he's lost both eyes...twice and now sports empty metal sockets and my mother replaced his tongue at some point after a long absence. He's been humped by errant housecats and dropped in NYC puddles and he's traveled the world with me and I don't care that he's mauled and mangled and Frankensteined back together, he's mine and he knows me like nobody else....which now that I read it sounds super creepy but I think you'll know what I mean.
ReplyDeleteYou did the right thing, and the loving parent thing. That being said, Schuyler is one sharp cookie and will probably notice that her old buddy has been magically rejuvenated overnight. Hmm -- maybe you can use the Doctor Who explanation?
ReplyDeleteMy daughter Zoe, who is almost exactly Schuyler's age, is very attached to a lamb she got from her grandmother when she was born. She actually has 3 identical lambs, because when we saw how attached she was to "lammy" early on, her grandmother immediately bought a couple of "just in case" replacements. Zoe is in possession of all three "lammies" now, but only one bears the name "favorite lammy" and it's the one that she's had the whole time. Favorite Lammy is grey, ripped, and stinks to high heaven, but Zoe loves her best. I wouldn't be surprised if Schuyler loved her original Jasper regardless of his current injuries--especially if you bandage him up and add an eye patch. . .
ReplyDeleteI JUST finished the story of Schuyler's first embrace of Jasper in your book.
ReplyDeleteBad Max!!
Rob, I don't know if this helps or not, but...
ReplyDelete... when I was about nine, my mother's new dog ate my favorite stuffed toy (a poodle toy, I'm ashamed to say). My mother tried the same "switch" you're trying now, but I knew immediately. The way I knew was the smell. My dog smelled like tears and snuggles and dirt and face cream and lord knows what else. I hope I'm wrong, but I'm guessing she's going to notice. She may or may not mention it, but she will know that her Jasper is somehow "different" - that some of the "realness" has gone out of him.
If it were me (I have a 19 month old son, so I've thought about this some already), I think I would probably come clean to S. in the morning about what happened, and then take Jasper and Jasper II to a skilled seamstress and have her use spare parts from JII to repair the original J.
Sometimes mended toys are the best.
Good luck. Its a kind of weird pleasure to see that you and Julie are facing such a normal, typical parental struggle for a change.
So sad! And when she's sick, too! But as to what I'd do. Knowing me I'd probably take poor Jasper to the fabric store and see if I could find some "fur grafts" and a donated cornea to transplant, then we'd have the intensive seven hour touch and go surgery where my assistant would stand ready with scissors and sutures and such. But if I couldn't do that, I'd probably do what you did.
ReplyDeleteMy guess is that if the truth comes out, she'll love "Broken" Jasper as much, if not more than Jasper 2.0
ReplyDeleteThe dog slobber might be a bit problematic, though...
For what it's worth, I think I would have done the same thing. We can't help wanting to protect our kids from the sad things in life. But I agree that the original Jasper deserves to be kept around for his loyalty over the years - just in case that smart little girl you've got catches on to your devious plan and demands some 'splaining.
ReplyDeletePoor Jasper! How sad!!!
ReplyDeleteWe should know if we get our BBOW by the end of this month. The count down begins, as our SLP sent in the report today. Keep your fingers crossed. I finished your book yesturday. I loved the ending. Andrew won't tell us either, so I guess we are both in the wait and watch mode. I am sure they both will amaze us as they go!
On a personal note, you mentioned in the book that your box class there in Plano was modeled after two other classes in the country, one being located in SEATTLE!!! Any idea where this is? It would be so interesting to find out more about this and maybe just maybe a potential for my little guy to find a spot?!? I thought I might contact Prentke Romich also and see if they know anything about it. I am so excited for him, I can't wait to see how he does with his BBOW!!!
When I was a kid and my special Honey Bear got mauled, I made the decision that I (under some supervision) would sew the repairs myself. Honey Bear, to this day, still has a one eye higher than the other and an upside-down nose. She's a little creepy now, honestly. But it didn't bother me a bit at the time.
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling she might notice. But I think kids take things like that okay, as long as it can be at least somewhat fixed.
You are a good dad. Tell the story to her one day so she knows what to look for in a future spouse:
ReplyDeleteunconditional love and affection. Uninhibited regard for her well being.
Don't be surprised if Schuyler notices the difference at some stage. Like anastasia said, the old Jasper probably had a very distinct smell, even if he was washed from time to time.
ReplyDeleteMy girls have very sensitive noses. They can even tell who's worn a specific shirt after it comes out of the laundry. Maybe Schuyler isn't the same in this way, but I'll bet the new Jasper also isn't quite as soft.
You may want to hang onto the old guy so she can see why the switcheroo was made.
I once read somewhere about a great idea for replacing a destroyed bear, in which, after Teddy went missing, a series of postcards arrived from him, documenting his travels, and the various kind people that were "fixing him up" (new ribbon, eye replacement) and helping him get back home. After a few days (while the parent searched for a new bear), the replacement appeared at the doorstep, and the child was ready to accept the changes as the result of Teddy's adventure.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that, of all the kids in the world, Schuyler especially will understand the importance of helping and healing a damaged, treasured thing. I think she will recognize the difference in Jasper. I think you should offer up the truth, and let your girl ask Jasper how much fixing up he wants, or if he is readyt to retire and let Jasper II do all the heavy lifting.
Poor Jasper. I'm loving the eye patch idea though. Maybe a peg leg to go along with it? :)
ReplyDeleteOh my... 27 years old and still I'm moved - with my eyes tearing up - over a cuddly bear... and fatherly love. I hail you for not throwing Jasper I away, but taking him on the tour and handing him back to Schuyler when she'll be older. This is just beautiful. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteMy lovy couldn't be replaced because it was one of a kind. My Dad said he wished they'd known or they'd have bought something with 3-4 back up copies.
ReplyDeleteMy DS is attached to a blue moose
As a kid with quite an attachment to a blanket, I have to tell you she'll probably know from the smell.
My husband already plans on picking up a replacement moose before they stop selling them.