The end of a relationship can be hard, but it can also feel like a fresh, cool breeze on a sweltering day. Sometimes you get to the end of a relationship and wonder how it ever went on so long in the first place. Complacency is a powerful force, but when its bonds are finally shattered, the happiness you feel makes you realize just how bad things had become.
I got out of an abusive relationship this weekend. I broke up with Bank of America.
I received a check from my publisher on Saturday and took it to the bank to deposit it. I braced myself for trouble because it was an out-of-state check, and sure enough, I was told that there would be a hold on it while the funds cleared, and those funds wouldn't be available for TEN DAYS. Apparently Bank of America doesn't cotton to that new-fangled electronic gizmo banking, but instead prefers to put my check in a leather satchel and hang it on a post outside, to be picked up by the next Pony Express rider as he heads north through Indian Country on his way to New York.
I explained how this was uncool since any royalty payments I receive for this book (shut up, it could happen) will come this way, but the bank manager shut me down, and not even fake-bank politely, either. When I said that I was considering closing my account and opening a new one somewhere else, she said that these rules were FDIC regulations and would be the same at any bank I went to, so don't bother. Furthermore, if I used this particular check to start a new account somewhere else, there would be a 90-day waiting period before those funds became available.
"There's nothing you can do, little man," she said. (paraphrased) "Submit and go home."
So I walked out to my car, drove down the street to another bank (one that had come highly recommended by another writer for just this reason), and thirty minutes later, I had a new account. The funds will be available tomorrow or Wednesday.
I'm not going to kid myself. My new bank doesn't do business in order to help the common man and make the planet a nicer place to live. But I feel like I just broke up with a girl who was narcissistic and hateful and liked to stab me in the eye with a fork. If my new girlfriend turns out to be a crack addict or a boogereater, at least it'll be a new kind of anxiety. It's nice to change things up from time to time.
Have a nice life, Bank of America.
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UPDATE, 10/3 - As good as their word, my new bank came through with my funds, and I even got a call just now from the bank manager to let me know. The funds actually became available before I've even received a debit card in the mail. Fancy!
I have a mortgage through Bank of America and I always have this very odd feeling that someone is going to scream "Punk'd!!!" whenever I do business with them.
ReplyDeleteThat modern electro check cashing system works superfast when BOA is the one withdrawing the funds from another bank.
I hate Bank of America.
Jeez. That's insane.
ReplyDeleteWe use Frost Bank and Security Service Credit Union (for a little while I used CitiBank for a savings/CD account and had problems similar to yours).
I've deposited all kinds of crazy out state checks, rebate checks and even money orders from Canada and had absolutely no problems.
Any bank that can't get a check deposited or money transferred for me in 2-3 days and doesn't have decent online banking just doesn't get my business.
Good for you.
I've found that different branches have different policies. The two banks up in the 'hood always want to hold my funds when I get a big distribution check. Even though they're from a company (MY company) that has been supplying me with good money for eight years. So I take my big checks to branches in nicer nabes and, voila, I get my money.
ReplyDeleteI feel that way about Chase. I loathe Chase. We were so happy when we closed our account there.
ReplyDeletecongrats Rob - you just saved yourself all the spam emails too!
ReplyDeleteI get at least 2-3 emails a week from random distribution lists claiming to be BOA, asking me to validate my account information.
We double checked the IP address in one, and it was asking me to log in to the nigerian air force's website.
We bank with BofA because we've always banked with BofA but my mother and sister-in-law have worked for the company and the things they have pulled over the years make me cheer to hear your story. I hope you tell the BofA bank manager your success story!
ReplyDeleteBofA always makes you think they are doing you a favor by "letting" you put your money in their bank. Pfooey.
Yep, Bank of America sounds very attractive to the phishers. I love my bank. Not only is it small and local with very friendly staff, it's name is soooo reassuring...Granite Savings Bank.
ReplyDeleteWe broke up with Bank of America this week too, joined a local credit union. Don't know why we waited so long. Our military checking account at BOA was considered an out of state account, so even online/phone transfers between our own savings and checking accounts took 3 days to process. There was no "local" branch we could visit to get faster service. I even had them put my paycheck on a 3-day hold once, and it was written from an account at the very branch I was using to deposit it. They just suck.
ReplyDeleteI'm having similar problems right now with both my banks... would you mind letting us in on who the up-to-date-with-the-technology guys are?
ReplyDeleteI lurrrrrrrve my bank- after I broke up with the big ugly monster, it's a breath of fresh air to be able to pay my bills and, you know, actually have the checks clear in the order in which they are received...and when I deposit money, there's no waiting.
ReplyDeleteImmediate availability of funds is a beautiful thing.
I will never never never ever bank with WF, BofA, Chase, or any of the big ugly megabanks. Give me a local credit union or my current bank any damn day.
Good on ya, Rob.
Free at Last! Free at Last!
ReplyDeleteI am not trying to be an asshole, but I don't understand why anyone would bank with BofA if they have a choice. I terminated my relationship with them when they screwed me back in college and I've gone with local banks and credit unions since. The service is a million times better, the fees are fewer, I can get online services or whatever I'd like, the interest rates and deals (no-fee checking or whatever) are the same or better. There is nothing that is worse.
ReplyDeleteGo you! Your new girlfriend might not be perfect but you will be so happy you ditched that other one.
Good for you. We hate BOA for that very reason.
ReplyDeleteWhat bank did you choose?
ReplyDeleteThe impetus for this question is based on personal experience with scenarios such as yours at BoA.
Thanks!
I think I'm going to experiment with a new idea for me, discretion, and not post the name of my bank here. Email me if you really want to know and I'd be happy to tell you, unless you are a killer.
ReplyDeleteBut it's the Bank of Opportunity!!
ReplyDeleteBlech.
I like Theresa's comment. lol
BofA sucks. (Note the name similarity to BuFu.) When we opened our first joint checking account there, we applied for a debit card, and the woman used a clearly surprised tone when she told us the application was approved. I guess she was shocked that we'd be allowed to use a card to spend our *own money.* Congrats on your breakup.
ReplyDeleteTo a large extent, they can choose what kind of hold to put on your money (with some exceptions). I continue to bank with a large bank because I used to work there, and my account still reads as "employee"-- so they never put an unusual hold on anything.
ReplyDeleteCiao, B of A.
That's such crap! Of course, you've discovered that already. Just a way for BOA to use your funds and make more money off you. Glad you found a better bank.
ReplyDeleteyeah, those bastards did the same thing to me, and actually the hold ended up being longer than what they had expressly promised putting me in a bad position having just moved and needing to pay rent. i actually told the woman at the counter that if the funds wouldn't be ready i needed to drive three hours from vegas to the closest wachovia (the bank the check was drawn on) to cash it. no problem, she assured me. and then there was a big problem! oh yeah, and it was a student loan check. when i banked with bb&t on the east coast, the lady would tell me the funds usually took three days to clear, but she could remove the hold immediately cause she knew the student loan checks always cleared. can't wait til i can join the credit union out here and tell bank of america to f@*k off!~
ReplyDeleteI really dislike BOA. They bought out the bank that managed my sons' trust fund. We had nothing but trouble and horrible service from BOA. I live in Canada by the way which caused no end of extra problems.
ReplyDeleteFinally my oldest son turned 21 and after a year of hassles they finally paid out the final disbursement and I will never deal with BOA again if I can possibly avoid it.
Ditto on the credit union! I haven't had a BANK account in years. Credit unions, baby, yeah!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds very much like I'm incredibly lucky to have never banked with BOA. I have been with a tiny credit union for about eight years and have had almost no problems--except for one--if I use an ATM (or like Wal-Mart where you have to put in your ATM pin) too many times in a month, they start charging 50c a transaction until the next month. Weird, but I'll deal with that (and try not to use the ATM much) to not have to deal with other banks' problems.
ReplyDeleteThat's so bizarre. Bank of America's the largest consumer of online bill-pay and electronic checking in the world (followed by AT&T), so I don't think it's a technology issue. I used to work for the company that handles all that junk.
ReplyDeleteHave you considered the possibility that they're just confused assholes?
Have you considered the possibility that they're just confused assholes?
ReplyDeleteThat thought had crossed my mind...
I am a credit union person all the way. Our actual credit union is no where near us, and we are moving further away from it. However we have not had a problem walking into another credit union (different name) and doing business when we need to. We had online service before anyone I knew.
ReplyDeleteI have friends who say "I would like to join a credit union but there isn't one available to me." That is nonsense, nowadays there are many credit unions who will sign you up without having to be members of a certain organization. Credit Unions are fantastic.
You know, bank of america was originally founded in the US as the bank of italy, by people who had, um- connections.
ReplyDeleteRobert....How about joining a Credit Union? I dunno...maybe an idea.....Bank of America SUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS!
ReplyDeleteOh. My. God. I just got off the phone with BofA about this same issue. I have deposited checks in the past, and written checks on the balance that SHOULD have been there, only to discovery (by snail mail, way too late) that BofA had put a hold on the check and the funds wouldn't be available and that I had BOUNCED a check and incurred penalties with B of effing A.
ReplyDeleteSo today I called and said "I just deposited a check, I know you'll put a hold on it, so when will the funds be available?"
THEY COULDN'T TELL ME. "It depends on thwat the FDIC tells us. They have to look at the check, the bank it's from, the local branch where the account was opened, the amount of the check, the alignment of the planets when the person who signed the check was born, then thye have to sacrifice a chicken and read its entrails, and THEN they'll tell us how long of a hold will have to be placed on that check you deposited for $2700 from a Wells Fargo account that was opened in Berkeley, California. And then we'll send you a letter."
In other words, I have to wait SEVERAL DAYS until the letter arrives at my home in order to find out HOW MANY MORE DAYS I will have to wait before BofA decides to remove the hold from the check I deposited.
I used to use B of A myself. Notice I said "used to." I went to close an account, they were going to give me too much money back because I had 3 outstanding checks, so I told them the amount of the checks and the check numbers. They refused to let me close my account for 90 days to make sure the checks cleared. Sadly, I was leaving the state in 3 weeks, so I did what (I think) anyone would have done...
ReplyDeleteI went to the ATM right outside that very branch immediately after talking with the lady and took out the amount I should have received (without taking more than the checks. I think they got an extra $2.00 out of the deal) and wrote a nice letter to their corporate office telling them it was pretty sad when a person tries to be honest and gets the shaft when I could have very easily taken the money they were going to give me without saying a word. I was leaving the state, it would have taken them a VERY LONG time to find me as I was going to be staying with friends until I could get set up on my own. I told them I would never bank with them again. The president sent me a nice letter apologizing for the hassle I went through and thanked me for my honesty. It didn't mean a whole lot to me after all the frustration their branch put me through.
That was about 14 years ago and so far, I haven't been a liar and have NEVER even stepped foot in a BofA. Good luck with your bank/credit union search. I hope you find a bank that can meet your needs without giving you any frustrations.
Ohhh....I broke up with Bank of America a few years ago. I was so glad to be rid of that stuck up snob.
ReplyDeleteGlad you got a new bank.
ReplyDeleteWhen we bought our house, I learned that an electronic transfer of funds and a wire transfer are not the same thing. Electronic is faster, but the title company we were paying didn't accept electronic transfers. My impression was that they COULD have set themselves up to do so, and it wouldn't have cost them much and would've let them get money faster and be less open to fraud, but for some inexplicable reason they didn't do it.
Yay for you! I felt so happy reading this post (only the 2nd I've read from you). I have had that kind of treatment from the bank, and now I bank at Educators Credit Union, a little place out of Racine, Wisconsin. I used it when I lived in Maine and now that I'm living in Taiwan, I still use them. They are so nice and friendly and I can use any service center around the world if there isn't an ECU nearby, so I'm not changing. I was so happy to end my abusive relationship with corporate America!
ReplyDeleteoh boy! i literally just got off the phone with breaking up with bank of america a few minutes ago. i tried breaking up with them in february, but the bank manager wouldn't allow me, instead saying that she'd let, let, me keep my account open for six months with no fees. i told her i was still taking all of my money out and walking across the street and depositing it at their main american competitor. and i did just that. except that a week ago? that six months of free checking? it was up and they decided to charge me $5 for having an open account. mhmm. they called this afternoon looking for that $5 and i told them i was breaking up for good, this whole separation? i loved it and wanted it permanent as i was happy with my new banker.
ReplyDeleteidiots. they'd even put holds on checks from accounts they held!
you're better off without 'em.
So you don't like the "Nickel and Dime You To Death Bank"....me either. I have never found any other bank that makes it so difficult to use your own money.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first moved to NY, I experienced a lot of culture shock (many funny stories). The thing that confused me the most was apparent popularity of BOA and others of its ilk. I did try it for a short while, since there weren't really any other options, but after 6 months, I found it easier to use my old credit union 3000 miles to the west. I actually put my paychecks in the post, mailed them to my credit union and still got the funds faster than Citibank would cash a check written from an account at that local branch.
ReplyDeleteI still don't understand how they stay in the personal banking business.
Been reading your blog off and on since stumbling across it sometime last year, and I know this is an OLD post, but I've had the same issue.
ReplyDeleteIronically, we can walk into a local bofa, and make a deposit into our CALIFORNIA BofA account, and funds are there in a day.