July 20, 2007

Programming


Red
Originally uploaded by Citizen Rob.
Julie has been busy lately, working on last minute Harry Potter preparations for the book store where she works as a community relations monkey, so Schuyler and I have been spending a lot of alone time together these days.

Last night Schuyler and I curled up on the couch, just the two of us, and it would have been a really sweet picture if you were to peek in through the window and see us there. I'm not sure if you'd still get the same Normal Rockwell vibe, however, if you could see that we were watching Godzilla versus Space Godzilla.

After it was over, we changed into our sleep clothes and stomped around the living room, destroying imaginary Tokyo and attacking each other. Schuyler stopped in her rampage every now and then to open her mouth menacingly and breath imaginary Godzilla fire, although she ruined the effect by cracking herself up and giggling. Well, that and also by being a four foot tall little girl in very un-monstery Hello Kitty pajamas.

I was driving her to her summer program this morning when she suddenly called out excitedly, pointing out the car window.

"Ah-ee, oo! Eh UH!"

I followed where she was pointing and saw a police car, and that's when I realized what she was saying.

"Daddy, look! The FUZZ!"

"Is that the Fuzz?" I asked. She squealed with delight and clapped her hands at our (until now) private joke.

Judge me if you must for the things I end up teaching Schuyler, both intentionally and otherwise. We're like any parents, we pick our battles carefully, based on our own beliefs and the values we feel are important to pass down. Even if sometimes those values involve nothing more than being a smartass. Especially then, perhaps.

We'll watch some pretty questionable television sometimes, for example. Jurassic Park II: The Lost World was on last week, and I've never seen Schuyler's eyes as wide with wonder as when she watched a T-Rex walking down a quiet suburban street and into a back yard, drinking from the swimming pool and looking into a kid's bedroom window. I can't even begin to imagine how happy she would be to look out her own window to such a sight.

But after one too many trips to the bookstore when she ran straight to the Disney and Barbie sections as if there were no other conceivable book in the world, we stopped letting her watch shows that seem to be little more than merchandise disguised as educational television. So yes to rampaging dinosaurs eating the family dog, but no more Dora the Explor-ahTM.

She knows that hitting and pushing other kids is wrong, but also that she's got the right to be anywhere anyone else is, with her Big Box of Words by her side. Schuyler knows that when other kids get bossy and start telling everyone what to do, there is no greater fun to be had than to cheerfully break those rules. She wears the punky clothes that she wants, with camouflage and little bead bracelets with pink skull-and-crossbones and red hair that exists nowhere in nature, but she also knows that short shorts and the slutty Bratz attire that is so popular with the North Dallas second grade set these days (WTF?) isn't going to happen, and it's not even worth putting up a fight.

She knows nothing about Jesus (as far as we're concerned, she already has plenty of imaginary friends), and isn't going to find out more until she's old enough to make the distinction between what's fact and what's opinion. She's trusting in a very unsophisticated way at this stage; she will take whatever she is told and process it as Truth-with-a-big-T, and we feel better about her believing in Santa and King Kong and monsters right now. The difference is that fewer people will be insisting that they are real as she gets older, and she's not ever going to be pressured to live her life a certain way because someone told her that it's Godzilla's will.

Most of all, Schuyler has inherited a "Fight the Man" attitude that she is going to need as she gets older and takes on more of her own battles for equal treatment and adequate concessions for her life in a mainstream society.

Being who she is, however, Schuyler infuses that attitude with a charm that her father has never possessed. As we pulled away from the police car this morning, she smiled, gave him a wave, and said "Eye, uh!"

"Bye, Fuzz!"

19 comments:

  1. *chokes* That girl has more testicular fortitude, so to speak, than anybody I've ever known.

    And though her monster chases her, she seems to have no problem standing casually at the crossroads, waiting for it to come at her so she can bash it away with a fairy wand, just to see the look on its face.

    I think all of us want to grow up to be Schuyler.

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  2. First timer, I'm a virgin again, woohoo!!
    I've been reading you blog for a few months and I really enjoy it.
    This post moved me to leave a comment. You're a kick ass Daddy! If more people were raised with the knowledge y'all are sharing w Schuyler, what a world it would be!! I was raised by a Baptist preacher and I have more faith in the tooth fairy! Not trying to sound anti-religion, to each his own, but it doesn't work to pound it into a person.
    You need the skills and sense to deal with the world today, King Kong can teach you alot about that!
    It's so cool to make your own mold, not be like everyone else.
    And I'm sure Schuyler can see the dinos thru her window!

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  3. Oooo... I loved this post. Not known to anyone red hair and pink camoflauge... And the FUZZ... AWESOME. Schuyler - AWESOME.

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  4. Anonymous3:55 PM

    ugh amen to that Bratz comment...please don't buy her a ticket to that movie...

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  5. Anonymous5:10 PM

    You call JURASSIC PARK II "questionable", but see, it makes perfect sense to me, because you know Schuyler digs that. People also don't realize that kids are tougher and more fascinated by the weird than grownups think they are -- when I was Schulyer's age, on a family vacation we took, for some reason I ended up bringing the Gideon Bible out to read by the pool, and read my way through the entire book of Revelations before anyone noticed. Far from being freaked out, I just remember reading about nine-headed lions and dragons and seas of blood and thinking, "This is...strangely cool."

    A parent knows their kid best, and knows what their kid would like best. And most kids aren't as spooked as easily as you'd think they are.

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  6. dora the eplor-ah LOL.

    have you seen the movies

    Mute Witness
    Mystic River

    both have main characters who are mute (not deaf). they are both pretty good though both have a couple scenes that are quite distrubing.

    but caution, these movies are 1000% NOT kid appropriate. they should be rated RRR or XRRRR (if there was such a rating).

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  7. I've got two born-again sisters, so I had to intellectually immunize my kids early. I gave them both a short "Intro to World Religions" course when they were quite young. I recommend DK books Religion.

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  8. "Daddy, look! It's the fuzz!"

    I am now dead from cute.

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  9. Anonymous10:58 PM

    Hey Rob - my 4 year old says, "I smell bacon" when he sees a cop car....

    Keep up the good work!

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  10. Anonymous3:18 AM

    You, sir, rock. You know your kid and what's best for her, not what's best for Generic Little Kid. Very, very cool.

    I love reading your blog and can hardly wait till February when I can read the book.

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  11. Love the mental image of Schuyler as godzilla in Hello Kitty pjs.

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  12. Anonymous10:18 AM

    Donna said: As someone who works in law enforcement, I am so glad you are not teaching her to be afraid of or to dislike policemen, there are so many kids that are afraid of cops that if they get lost, who are they gonna go to? A person in uniform, or the nearest transient? It is one of my pet peeves to hear a parent tell their child that if they don't behave or do what they are told "she will take you to jail". I've heard it a gazillion times, and when I do, I march right up to them and tell them ok, if your kid is in trouble, what do you want them to do, scream for a cop, or be too afraid to, and let the molester carry them away? A kid that calls me fuzz? I can live with that. As long as they call me.

    And the bratz? Everything that is wrong with the world today....
    You and the chubbin? Everything that is right.

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  13. I have to admit, "Bye, Fuzz!" caught me off guard...

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  14. I have been thinking about this post off and on for a few hours this morning. Of course, I think it's cool that Schuyler has some monsters in her corner. I have a great-nephew who is only a few months younger than she is but he is so sensitive that things she laps up might freak him out. Every kid needs to be handled differently, I guess. I had trouble well into adulthood putting the boundaries up that are necessary to enjoy a scary movie. I used to freak when I heard the scary music from another room! I am now particularly fond of movies where monsters step on things like they are toys. I didn't like the last 'Kong' because they didn't have enough of this.

    I was also thinking about how Schuyler CAN speak but only a limited number of sounds and how you could (and do) make a language that she can speak and you can understand.

    And lastly I suddenly wondered if Schuyler might get famous after the Monster comes out and get to be on the Simpsons with her device like Stephen Hawking.

    And the coolest thing? They (the authorities) won't KNOW she's calling them the Fuzz.

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  15. And one more thing...(am I rambling?) I was thinking about how the criticism of your video and sometimes the vitriol of the comments about your writing or parenting has given you sufficiently thick skin for this whole book thing.

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  16. I who do not even know her, have no doubt that she will one day rule our world, surpass all that anyone ever thought she would not, and be a beacon to many. Already she is, but surely her light will be brighter with age and wisdom. I have my own children and have lost one as well and I think, if I even allow myself to wish backwards, if my son had survived, he would have had many special needs. I think all children have their own special spark but some just rev the spark brighter. Schuyler is one. I think my son would have been as well. It's refreshing to come here and read even randomly off and on as I do and be reminded that there is strength everywhere, especially in Schuyler.
    --Jenn

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  17. Rob, you should check out "The Infra Superman" ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073168/ ) , an extremely cheesy Hong Kong monster flick from -75. The rubber suits that the monsters wear are soooo bad and the plot... well, there IS a plot atleast. I think. They even have evil vikings in it and it was banned in Norway until 2003.
    Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qz4rl0TwoKE

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  18. Rob- when you were looking to move from Austin to Plano I raised the question that you might just be running from your troubles. I'm not sure if I could have been more wrong. You clearly made a fantastic choice for Schuyler, and with the book release, for yourself as well. You were right, and I was wrong, but I'm happy it's worked out wo very well for you.
    Regards,
    Zach (slowly reforming ass monkey)

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  19. Yeah, well it's still hard to believe moving to Plano (from Austin of all places) is a good idea. But for Rob and his little family it has turned out to not be a bad idea. Count me as a naysayer on that, too.

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