A few weeks ago, we took Schuyler to the Dallas Museum of Art. She had a good time looking at all the smartifying stuff, I'm happy to say, but honestly, it was when we ended up in the gift shop that we really started having fun. Schuyler, because she's seven, and me because, well, because I'm me.
They had puppets, and she fell in love. Which is how we ended up with a monster. Schuyler's new monster.
We call him Martin.
There's something I've wanted to try with Schuyler for a while, an idea I had during a box class parents' meeting a few months ago. Schuyler's condition hasn't affected her in some of the more serious ways that other kids suffer from, like seizures and serious dysphagia. (When I say "suffer", I'm not kidding; the polymicrogyria group I belong to is a regular source of truly sad stories.)
But when it comes to her speech, she's been hit hard. She is completely nonverbal, with almost no consonants at all. The thing is, however, that she's got all the vowels and she's got perfect inflection. She's trying, so hard that it will break your heart, and furthermore she hears the words and sounds that she's trying to make. If you hand her something, her "thank you" sounds so convincing that unless you're paying close attention, you don't realize that she actually said "Ain oo".
Ironically, it's those inflections and sincere attempts at speech that can sometimes stand in her way of moving forward on the Big Box of Words. Not at school, I don't think. In her class, all the cool kids talk like cyborgs, so she's excited to do the same.
(That's unless she's feeling like a punk, as she was yesterday, although that may very well be because her box class teacher has been out this week. Apparently harassing substitutes teachers is a genetic trait, because I was a dick to every sub I ever had. One more item on the list of crimes that the devil will be reading off when I die, although honestly, I'm sure it would be on like page thirty.)
When she's at home with Julie and me, however, Schuyler gets lazy with her device, for the simple reason that we can understand a lot of what she says. She's a smart kid; she knows this, even when we pretend otherwise. When she's with us, she doesn't like to use her device.
Thus my idea for the puppet. I just didn't expect it to work so well.
She won't always use the box for us. But it turns out that for Martin? She'll do anything. Last night we studied for a spelling test that she has today, but it wasn't until Martin started asking her how to spell the words on her list that she became enthusiastic about it.
Schuyler's a complicated person, and always has been. She knows that Martin's just a puppet, and that her father is the one manipulating him, just like she used to understand that when I said "Don't eat that!", the goal was to get her to, well, eat that.
Like her father, Schuyler's defining characteristic is that she does not like being told what to do. Monster or not, she negotiates her own terms with the world.
Awesome. As always.
ReplyDeleteMan, being a dick to the sub is a right of passage. If Jesus went to temple one day, and there was a substitute Rabbi, you know he would have been giving and curing leprosy in the other kids and stuff just to screw with them. Or turning the rabbi's water into lamb urine. Something like that.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant idea. Already trying to figure out how I can adapt it to fit my needs....
ReplyDeleteGood for Schuyler!
ReplyDeleteI read a quote yesterday:
"I either get what I want or I change my mind"
That reminds me of Schuyler now that I hear your puppet story.
Schuyler is very much like my Aislinn. This is a brilliant idea to maybe get MY seven year old to read. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteSandi
If Jesus went to temple one day, and there was a substitute Rabbi, you know he would have been giving and curing leprosy in the other kids and stuff just to screw with them. Or turning the rabbi's water into lamb urine.
ReplyDeleteLMAO!!!!
Am I wrong, is that monster wearing an earring?
He is indeed. And a Barnes & Noble turtleneck sweater, stolen from a teddy bear. Martin's a drag queen monster AND a shameless sell-out.
ReplyDeleteyou're such a thoughtful and diligent daddy.
ReplyDeleteyour little girl is as blessed to have you as her daddy as you are to have her as your daughter. and that's the truth.
My mother has a strange form of hearing loss in that she can no longer hear consonants, only vowels. I bet she'd understand Schuyler perfectly.
ReplyDeleteDrag queen monsters are the very best kind.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter will also do anything for a puppet. I think on some level she gets satisfaction out of making me work. And making me silly.
BTW, That monster puppet rocks.
The monster kicks ass. As does Schuyler.
ReplyDeleteAww, Martin's cute.
ReplyDeleteAnd there's something about puppets that makes them easy to relate to, I think. Don't ask me why.
I think that story is as good as a paternity test...it shows that Schuyler is indeed her own spirit, and that you ARE the dad who knows exactly what she needs....
ReplyDeletewhen both of my kids were little, around 4 or 5, they refused to take direction from me but would take direction and do anything i asked for a handpuppet.
ReplyDeletejess had "foxy" and geoff had "raffy." If i tried to get them to get ready for bed or eat dinner or whatever... they'd do typical little kid disobediences and the like. but i'd put that damn puppet on my hand and change my voice and it was as if a spell had been cast.
the other day i figured out jess still sleeps with foxy inside her pillow. she'll be 15 soon. and it almost made me cry. not because she should be old enough to not 'need' things like foxy in her life but because she is still that 4 year old to me a lot.
and i love martin in his drag queen outfit. he's spectacular.
and notanillusion is my new favorite person on earth for the jesus and substitute rabbi comment. that is the best thing i've read all week.