I had my monthly visit to Dr. Hottie today, and it went fairly well. I was all prepared to find out that I am even fatter and lazier than I was last month, but I was surprised to learn that I've actually lost three pounds in the past few weeks. I'm still on the wrong side of where I was the day I was diagnosed and was told that I should lose twenty pounds, but considering that I thought the news would be worse, I was happy to hear that I am at the very least not turning into a chud monster at quite the rate I thought I was.
It's hard, losing weight when you've led a free and easy, chocolate-coated, deep-fried existence. I'm proud of some of the changes I've made. I don't find it all that hard to stay away from sugar stuff (although yeah, I miss me some cookies), and what cravings I do have are easily enough satisfied with some items made with Splenda, things like Sugar Free Jell-o Pudding (but not the Jell-o itself, oddly enough) and some fakey-fake chocolate ice cream by Breyers. There are a number of diet soft drinks I can have, but honestly, I mainly end up drinking lots of Propel.
The thing that's hard to fight is carbs. And honestly, I snack more than I should, and I exercise less than I should, and so I lose less weight than I should. This last twenty (okay, shut up, twenty-five now) pounds is going to be a challenge. It's funny, too, because I have lost about, and this is not a lie, seventy pounds since college. Man, I was a treat for the eyes back then.
To help with these last remnants of Jabba the Huttliness, my doctor prescribed Phentermine, a diet pill that I thought was all controversial until I actually started reading about it. Turns out Phentermine was the "phen" part of Fen-phen, and it was the other part, the Fenfluramine, that was messing people up. Phentermine doesn't appear to be a big deal, although it is very tightly controlled and is not intended for the 125-pound purging sorority girl so much as people with a medical reason to lose weight, like the morbidly obese and, well, me.
As for side effects, Phentermine can affect your blood pressure, but my BP is completely, weirdly normal. According to Dr. Hottie and the stuff I'm reading, it also can make you jumpy, and after one short afternoon on it, all I can say is "yep".
So between the Phentermine and a newly invigorated exercise program (I am Bikezilla these days), be ready for the hot new Rob.
Slim. Sexy. And jumpy as fuck.
Schuyler is my weird and wonderful monster-slayer. Together we have many adventures.
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Thanks for the visual! Maybe you should take a picture now to compare to later. :)
ReplyDeleteOMG, you crack me up! "It's hard, losing weight when you've led a free and easy, chocolate-coated, deep-fried existence." You have me rolling in the aisles here at the firm.
ReplyDeleteI hope no one knows why I am laughing so hard, she thinks as she shoves another donut hole in her mouth ; )~~
Forget the picture! You sound so cute I might just wanna ride you like a blow up pool toy.
~Calli~
And THAT, my friends, is why the internet is the most wonderful place in the world.
ReplyDeleteHAW! Too much funny here.
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, well done on dropping so much weight over time. I don't know what your circumstances allow, but for me the key to putting weight loss in overdrive is 25 minutes (minimum - 45 is more like it) of brisk walking while listening to music that makes me want to move. (Surely C + C Music Factory did a Rachmaninov remix album that you could get hold of.) This seems to work best if done first thing in the morning, before eating anything; I've been told by trainers that it makes you burn the lard on your body instead of what you had for breakfast.
Hey Rob, I just started taking phentermine today too! We can be hot together.
ReplyDeleteStrangely, I don't feel jumpy. But I did have a compulsion to clean out my office closet, and vacuum up every single last bird seed on the floor under the birdcage.
And now, everytime I see a blow up pool toy I will think of you and your hotness. Great.
I am reminded of the warnings on the antimalarials that I was "encouraged" but not required to take when going to do field work: Insomnia, night terrors, psychotic breaks. No thank you, I'll have a gin and tonic.
ReplyDeleteDoes your doggie not need walking (my dog is no child of mine, having little interest in food and a tendency toward antimalarial-like symptoms if he doesn't get a long walk by early evening) and/or is Plano not a walking-friendly place? The demands of the hound and the addition of 30-40 minutes of aerobic walking into my day are the only things that have kept me losing weight (albeit much more slowly) now that we've entered the season of constant delicious food and alcohol.
I was just put on Phentermine as well and I've seen some very positive results so far. I hope you have the same.
ReplyDeleteThe jumpiness does go away after a while, too.
Good luck!
Rob, the South Beach Diet book does some excellent explaining about carbs and how we use them and how it affects blood sugar. I have to say I was bloomin' sceptical about it, thinking it was an Atkins thing, but the basic ideas (healthy whole grains, fresh vegetables and low cholestrol fats) are very sound. And I'm a stone & a half lighter since using those principles.
ReplyDeleteI already thought you were sexy. -victoria
ReplyDeleteGood for you, 70 lbs. is such an awesome accomplishment. You should be proud.
ReplyDeleteYeah, but that 70 pounds was lost over the course of maybe a decade. It's this last twenty-five that are going to kill me.
ReplyDeleteI was actually going to email you that toothpastefordinner strip last night when I saw it -- you were the first person I thought of.
ReplyDeleteMy father in law is a needle-dependent diabetic... and as far as doctors/doctoring goes, I don't think it's possible to have diabetes and have the doctor say "your weight looks just fine." As a matter of fact, I firmly believe that "lose 20 lbs" is the new "take-2-of-these-and-call-me-in-the-morning."
Good luck with the phentermine. It's not much for helping with permanent weight loss, but pretty darned effective for dropping those stubborn pounds that hang on like bill collectors.
Hmmm, I will never look at a pool toy in quite the same way . . .:-P
ReplyDeleteMy doctor hasn't said anything about losing weight for my diabetes although I am trying on my own. That surprises me, as she's so thorough about everything else. It's extremely difficult to do on my own! I wish you the best of luck in losing the weight, as I've heard it can make a tremendous difference.