I got a speeding ticket this morning, on my way to work. Huh. I don't want to talk about that, though. I haven't even started processing that bullshit on a stick just yet.
I'm leaving in about thirty minutes for my dentist appointment. This is going to be FUN. In addition to the Bad Bad Tooth that will be getting its just desserts today, the troublesome tooth next to it started hurting this morning. Well, of course it did. So one of two things will happen at the dentist's office. Either he'll make another appointment to do the second tooth and stretch this thing out even longer, or he'll sit my ass down and subject me to TWO root canals in one sitting.
Either way, I'm pretty sure you're going to have a better afternoon than I am.
So I'm sitting here having my pre-dentist terrors, which started about half an hour ago, and while I know you, patient reader, are sick of reading about this, it's just about the only thing in my head today. It's funny how something as visceral as dental pain can drown out the other stuff. That's probably for the best.
I have some special powers, in case you never heard. I can identify the composer of a piece of music if I've ever heard that composer before, even if I've never heard that particular piece of music. I can tell if someone is a born-agan Christian the instant I meet them. And I can smell a lie, as surely as if a can of tuna had been opened.
Okay, enough of my cryptic blather. I'm going to the House of Pain now. See you on the other side. Fuck, I hate The Chair.
My last dental visit was almost (not quite, but almost) pain-free. The dentist used this... thing. Instead of poking me with a needle to administer novocaine, he used this... thing. I think that thing is what is referred to when they talk about "laser dentistry." It didn't look like a laser, and I'm pretty sure a laser shouldn't feel that vibrate-y. Whatever it was, it made the whole experience less ugly.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the owie, Rob. Take lots of narcotics.
ReplyDeletehi, i think that you should be a little more positive, it would help you in your life.
ReplyDeletetake it or live it.
bye
Dear Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteFuck YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU.
Sincerely, Me
Dear Rob,
ReplyDeleteI wish more people would comment with absurb anon comments because your response cracks me up. :-)
I do hope the dentist was much more pleasant than you feared and that you are in a pleasant post-op drug haze. Here's to a speedy recovery.
Hey Rob, watch your blood sugar during stress/pain, although you've already probably noticed it bounces around like...well, I can't come up with a metaphor. You'll bounce. I second the hope for good drugs. Better living through pharmacology.
ReplyDeleteRob:
ReplyDeleteThat "fuck you" was hilarious. By the way ... how can you tell when someone's a born again Christian? Do they have a particular smell or is it just the fact that they listen to crappy music? (and I can say that because I AM a born again Christian ... and I smell funny)
I once had a root canal and gum surgery in the same day. All I can say is this: ugh. Good luck, man.
I can tell if someone is a born-agan Christian the instant I meet them.
ReplyDeleteThis talent may very well be attributable to the fact that many tell you the very second they meet you that they are, indeed, born-again. And then proceed to treat you dirtier than Satan at every opportunity.
(I'm not tarring all Christians with that brush; the majority are fine folks. It's just been my experience that those who tell you repeatedly what good Christians they are, instead of just living like they ought, are the ones you should run away from at high speed. Especially in business. Because they are about to do something immoral, illegal and awful and then try to excuse it by having a conference-call prayer.)
Wait. This was about Rob's pain. Which I hope has abated much, even with the good meds. Healing healing healing healing healing. Also, healing.
P.S. -- Those illustrations you're linking to -- I love them and they make me cry. Great work.
And dear anonymous, it would help you in your life to occasionally step away from the keyboard. Also, what Rob said.
I don't know how happy you are with your current dentist, but if you ever want to jump offices, check out Dr. Tommy Schultz in Richardson. I am an abject dental coward, and this guy is a deity in my book -- I adore him to pieces, and his partner is just as good.
ReplyDeleteHey, feel better soon, ok? I hope that you are stoned out of your mind right now on lovely, lovely Hydrocodone, with a piquant dash of Vicodin. I had lots of drugs when I had four wisdom teeth sectioned and pulled out in one session. I don't remember much of the following two days until I was mostly healed up. I wish you the same!
ReplyDeleteWell, I saw a deer get killed by the lite rail as I was driving home. (Lite rail is our above-ground subway public transportation system thingie.) So, yeah, my afternoon wasn't that much better than yours. Sorry you're in so goddamnmuch pain. BLAH.
ReplyDeleteSo I know this comment is a little late, but I just started reading your blog and one must always start at the beginning. And so I did.
ReplyDeleteI am commenting because the born-again Christian thing? I can sense them also. It's a little creepy, huh? They are always a little TOO happy.