Behold, Dr. Zen's Titan Diabetic Shoe! I do believe that this may just be the most horrible thing I have ever seen in my life. If you saw someone wearing that shoe, you'd want to know what sort of bizarre alien flipper they were hiding inside. And for $109, the Titan Gimp Tard Flipper Shoe does more than suck away your dignity. It drains your bank account, too!
I'm making fun of this shoe because it was one of the worst I found. The truth is, there are actually some that aren't too bad at all, including this semi-badass boot. (How embarrassing would it be to get your ass kicked by a guy wearing orthopedic shoes? Think about that before you trifle with the Rob.) Until Converse decides to tap into the previously underexplored hipster gimp market, this might be the best I can do. (Keep in mind that no matter how Frankensteinian these shoes may look, they'll be even more monsteriffic in a men's thirteen. Nuhr!)
The reason I'm even looking at these shoes is that I've been following up on why my feet hurt so badly. It's called Peripheral Neuropathy, and it's fun fun fun. Basically, it's a relatively common neurological disorder that results from damage to the peripheral nerves and affects a lot of diabetics, like sixty percent. The kind I have is called, delightfully, "painful neuropathy", because really, what are the chances that I'd get the kind that tickles?
The thing that all these shoes have in common besides high fashion is that none of them are cheap. I just got off the phone with my insurance carrier (my current one, courtesy of The Monolith). As I could have predicted, they do not in fact cover diabetic shoes, despite that I have both diabetes and feet, which would seem to be the qualifying factors, but what the hell do I know? Once I start my new job, it'll be a few months before I'll be able to change insurance, so until then, I'll look for other solutions such as inserts.
Truthfully, I'm not in a huge hurry to embrace the Way of the Gimpwear. I just want my feet to stop hurting so much, and getting my blood sugar within a normal range will help with that. Just call me Gimpy McStumbles until then.
This design is much easier to read than the other one.
ReplyDeletei'm looking into gimp shoes as well. i have wicked bad plantar fascitis and some sort of tendonitis that means my ankles aren't supported properly. i've had this for 4+ years and finally bit the bullet and got fitted for orthotics today. sigh. and since i refuse to wear shoes when i'm at home (i HATE shoes) i might have to get custom birkenstocks. and while that sounds awesome, it's not. becuase they're twice as expensive and only come in one color/style: the ugly one.
ReplyDeleteall this to say: you're not alone.
Hey, you shouldn't have a delay in insurance with the new job. The Monolith will send you all the information about Cobra etc. after your last pay period and they should include a letter verifying that you had ''durable coverage'' when you left and your new employer should cover you ASAP without the usual 60-90 waiting period (or any BS about pre-existing conditions).
ReplyDeleteIt's all covered under HIPPA (insurance portability, essentially). So, you should be good to go with new insurance sooner than you think.
Also, gimp shoes suck ass but MAN do they make your feet feel better!!
-Driver1973
Not to be rude, but I thought you said you were done complaining about the diabetes and what it was doing to you. Do you hear Schuyler complaining (on her box of words)....I don't think so. Somebody is always going to have to deal with worse things than you. Get over it and deal with it. My grandfather lived with painful bone cancer and you would never hear him complain. Just thought you might want to know, we are tired of complaints. Let's talk about ACCOMPLISHMENTS and more about your beautiful daughter. She should be the sunshine in your life, she's got it worse off than you. Deal with your own monster quietly like she does hers.
ReplyDeleteDeal with your own monster quietly like she does hers.
ReplyDeleteThat certainly was a clever remark, Anonymous. I wonder, do you think you are the first person who ever made a "you don't hear Schuyler complaining" joke?
Here's an equally clever remark. Fuck you.
Yes Rob, please turn that frown upside down. If you make it a smile, it will last a while. Blech!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I always thought Cobra was expensive as hell.
Mark G
Maybe my mind is in the gutter from being alone in my office all day, but I read the description of the Frankenbeedies boots and I'm sorry, but "Rigid Shank" sounds kind of dirty.
ReplyDeleteDon't knock it until you try it. Not the type of shoe I would want to wear, but when you have an illness or disease that causes so much pain, "cool" shoes aren't so cool anymore.
ReplyDeleteHate to say it, but welcome to the wonderful world of getting older, Rob.
Damn, some of you are harsh and unlearned. You see, this post is an example of "humorous bitching" and is a whole world of funny. I believe the Jewish term for it is "kvetching". It may be mistaken for whining by the ignorant. It's okay, you should feel more comfortable reading about kittens. Like on another site. You could go there now and not even be compelled to leave more tatty assvice.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nicole
Rob,
ReplyDeleteYou know I have been reading you for a million years...this crazy blogging thing the kids are doing these days...it's like an Amati in your hands.
And you know what Lenny says: "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke."
-christopher
"Not to be rude..."
ReplyDeleteOK, you can stop right there. Nobody ever says that unless they plan to be insufferably rude, but are too much of a coward to want anyone to call them on it.
They're rather hideous, but I'll bet you could kick some serious ass in them.
ReplyDeleteAnd your feet wouldn't hurt after either. Everyone's happy. except your fashion sense and the ass kickee's..ass.
Better yet, the next person who says "you could have it so much worse" should get the shoe jammed sideways in an uncomfortable place, then you can say "yes, now I have to replace my Beedies foot friendly shoe, thanks to you, I am now shoeless."
What gets me is that people feel they have the right to complain about the content of this "blog" (do scare quotes help?) -- as if it is some service they are paying for.
ReplyDeleteYou are entitled to witty bitching, not-so-witty venting, along with all the joys you wish to celebrate with us. I rather enjoy your writing, and, of course, hearing about your beautiful little girl. And like anyone, should that change, I am free to stop reading at any point (I think, admittedly I haven't tried to quit...)
*Shrug* -- I'm cranky tonight.
Neurontin. Seriously, ask your endocronologist about it. My best friend has diabetes and the same type of neuropathy (he found out he had diabetes when: his feet wouldn't stop hurting and he dropped 100 pounds in 6 months.)
ReplyDeleteHis doctor put him on Neurontin and he can function again and not think about how damn bad his feet hurt constantly.
Plus it saved him from the gimp shoes.
My cat had peripheral neuropathy related to diabetes - it caused a nasty limp that was my first clue that something was wrong. It completely resolved once he was regulated. Methylcobalimin (specific form of B12) might help as well - at least, it seems to help in cats.
ReplyDeleteBets
Hey Rob, a friend of mine linked your blog on her live journal. It's a great read. I have a daughter about 3 (Morgan), who is kick-ass as well, and my family has a history of diabetes...and that's why I'm posting this.
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother has the same neuropathy, and was in terrible pain, but she has begun some regimine of medicine that I cannot recall at the moment and it has done wonders for her blood sugar!
The other thing was that she had some sort of salve that her Mayo Clinic doctor got/found/discovered not by the usual channels that he gave her which supposedly was amazingly helpful as well.
I'll ask my grandmother tonight and post what the two things are as soon as I get real names besides vitamins and foot salve. =P
/Best of Luck with the TypeII
//God, if Morgan saw Schuyler's hair there'd be no end of it! =P
Once you get the beedies under control your feet will start to feel sooo much better. And be sure at the new job you get up so often and walk around, it will help your circulation. And start using cinnamon, it will help your sugar metabolism.......And the only thing annonymous has ACCOMPLISHED is showing the world that annonymous is an ASS! And tell assonymous it's YOUR blog, you can say your not going to complain and then turn right around and complain....why?.. cause it's YOUR blog!! And tell assonymous our kids do not deal with their own monsters quietly, they do complain, we see it in their eyes every damn day!!!!
ReplyDelete"Because really, what are the chances I would get the kind that tickles". Rob, that was brilliant, and I love the way you "complain". Keep doing what you are doing and fuck the trolls. You have a great voice
ReplyDeleteThe boots aren't bad at all. They could be taken for Doc Marten knock-offs.
ReplyDeleteI hope you get the pain managment under control soon. I can't think of anything more annoying than chronic pain in your feet.
They're cool enough, Rob. Just visualize them in a women's 13 and you'll know my world. Hah!
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, until the new insurance kicks in (which should treat them as durable medical supplies and only require you to pay a co-pay, probably max $50), go get you some Crocs (or a reasonably priced knock-off thereof). They are the only thing I've found that help both my neuropathy and my plantar fasciitis. I know "They" tell us Beedieites that we shouldn't wear sandals, but I'm like, y'all, when it's the difference between walking and not walking, and when I check my feeties every day anyway, just hush and assume that I'm not going to go crashing into stacks of glass and stickerbushes with the exposed backs of my heels, okay?
So. Crocs. Cool (both in attitude and temperature), comfy, and accommodate the requisite Big Thick Beedies Socks without whimpering. You and Schuyler can get matching pairs. Hot pink, I think. Or maybe lime green. Whee! (And they didn't give me anything for this endorsement.)
Kisses from Tennessee!
Um, I like the look of the Gimp shoes! And, I am the woman whose husband won't let her buy Doc Martens because"people will assume you're a lesbian" Hee! I'm just not a stiletto-heel girl! OK, I admit my taste in footwear doesn't conform... but, "my" podiatrist has told me about Diabetic Neuropathy and feet, and whatever helps, it's probably not going to be as cool and sassy as ... I dunno, shoes is shoes, right? Whoever sang "Feets don't fail me now" had the idea.
ReplyDeleteI can't even get the dork shoes in my size. Women's shoes don't come that wide and I'm a 4-6E even in men's. I am considering getting custom shoes made -- there are actually places that do this. My regular shoes give me calluses and blisters, and no sane diabetic wants that. I still have excellent circulation in my feet, according to the podiatrist, but I'm tempting fate here.
ReplyDeleteI do know people who've had great results with Neurontin, and people who can't take it (it's some serious shit, and some people can't think when they're taking it. But it's been the only thing that will save some people from major pain, so it has its uses). Can you see a podiatrist with your insurance? Maybe they can offer cheaper ways to get pressure off your feet, the right kind of inserts, whatever.
Hey Rob -
ReplyDeleteDon't trolls. I hate people who love to talk about how much life is harder for others and you shouldn't complain. Why does someone who has cancer worse off that you? Why does someone having cancer and not complaining make them some kind of saint? My Aunt died of rectal cancer - she was a bitch before the cancer and a bitch afterward. She complained and complained but hey she had cancer I guess it was ok. I have gout - I complain about it. It's might right. So the people that don't care for you bitchin' bout beedies can pound sand for all I care!
They'll just think you are an undercover cop, all of us in law enforcement wear those kind of boots, but they are not cool on the inside like those.
ReplyDeleteTrust me, you want to take care of your feet, if the dogs aren't happy, ain't nobody happy.
I say give the gabapenten (neurontin) a try..there is a new form called Lyrica on the market now ..it's a controlled drug because of the "euphoria" which is complete bs but anyways.
ReplyDeleteI have chronic neuropathic pain and I use gabapenten with good results. It will cause what we call brain fog for the first few weeks but it's worth it to get away from the burning and tingling.
I cannot guarantee that your foot oain will go away when your sugar gets under control,sometimes it does sometimes it doesn't..it is all dependant on how long your diabetes went undiagnosed and how much damage was done.
You will have to wait and see. You must keep a strict regime of checking your feet for cuts,blisters and sores...you won't heal like you used to so be vigilant.
I love the gimp shoes. Which of course means that I too must turn in my Urban Hipster card like "charlotte midnight" (I like that name!). But the price! Oy!
ReplyDeleteLyrica is pregabalin (it's not gabapentin, but is similar) - primary indication is for diabetic neuropathy, secondary for epileptic seizures. More efficacious at lower doses than Neurontin, so less with the weird side effects. Might be good to ask the doc about taking this, until at least you get the blood sugar thing under control. Bonus points for it also helping with anxiety.
I actually appreciate hearing all the talk about diabetes.
ReplyDeleteThis isn't cheerful, and I do apologize for that, but here's where I'm coming from: My dad didn't control his and it ruined his eyesight, kidneys, gave him horrible peripheral neuropathy, and cost him half of one foot and a leg from the knee down. (Sorry for that gruesome excerpt from his litany of woe, but it's relevant. Please keep reading.)
My dad did not live locally and we weren't terribly close. And he though we talked on the phone every couple of weeks, he did not share with me most of the details of what he went through.
He's been gone a couple years now and there's so much I wish I could ask him.
Right before he died I went back to college to become a personal trainer (essentially so I could help others avoid his fate). My dad committed slow suicide by not exercising but I understand that his diabetes made it rougher, and when he was in the stage where exercise could have helped, the doctors didn't push exercise like they do now. and he died the very day before the first day of the "Exercise for special populations" class that explained about neuropathy and the like, so I didn't have that understanding WHILE he was alive.
So please, share all the diabetes details you want. It makes me happy to hear it. It helps me understand the day-to-day of what he went through, and various oddities on some of his (infrequent) visits. I am GLAD that your response is to balance your blood sugars rather than ignore them, and to buy a bike and try to ride it, rather than giving up exercise altogether and reaching for another diet Pepsi.
I initially came to Darn Tootin' to read about Schuyler, but I find it therapeutic to read about you.
God bless you for sharing your life so openly with us.
miz hatbox, thank you. My dad did the same thing in the last months of his life and while it wasn't as slow as your dad's (his heart got him), it still hurts to know.
ReplyDeleteTalking is very inportant; for instance, Rob may not know that diabetics to do feel/metabolize pain like non-diabetics. Which is why when my dad finally felt his heart attack, after several months of not regulating his sugar, it was a biggie. The docs figured he probably had had several of incresing severity over the previous few weeks, and all he had been feeling was nauseous. So now this is an exercise in education.
So while "nobody," which is exactly what Anonymous is, wants to hear whining, it is important. It is cathartic. Rob is not our trined monkey (okay, and ... do "happy" now!). He is our friend inside the computer, and if you don't want to be what a friend entails, go find someone who will write just to suit YOU.
But really, Rob, would you want to walk around with ticklish neuropathy?
ReplyDeleteIi know nothing about dabeedies, but that Neurontin sounds like good stuff. I believe if you just throw your old, non-beedies shoes into a tree or over power lines, a drug dealer will appear and provide you with this fine controlled substance.
Hey Rob (& Sarah & Judy) -
ReplyDeleteYour insurance might cover orthotics. Once you've got orthotics, you just need to find shoes with removable insoles (there are tons - just search in Zappos).
For me, Keens are the only way to go. I've got the achilles tendinitis, related to plantar fasciitis. The Keens have been a freakin' godsend. Seriously. They rock.
--Melissa