It seems weird to me to have to talk about this again, considering how many times I've written about it on my journal, and I thought people got it. In any case, this is a new blog, and possibly a new readership, so let's talk about the name of this blog, and the kind of language I use when I describe Schuyler.
"My Beloved Monster & Me" is a song by the Eels, a favorite "group" (mostly one guy) of mine, and whose music I've always identified with Schuyler. If you don't like "My Beloved Monster", I can only imagine how you'll feel about "Beautiful Freak".
("You're such a beautiful freak. I wish there were more just like you. You're not like all of the others, and that is why I love you, beautiful freak, beautiful freak... Some people think you have a problem, but that problem lies only with them. Just 'cause you are not like the others. But that is why I love you, beautiful freak, beautiful freak...")
Schuyler is a beautiful freak. She's not like the others. She never will be, and she'll hear words like "freak" and "monster" one day. Those words will hurt her less if she already owns them. Some special needs parents need soft language like "handicapable" and "differently abled" to shield their sensitive children, and I understand some kids need that. I think the parents need it more, to be honest, but again, I understand why, completely.
Schuyler's different. She's also tough as nails. She rarely cries except in anger. She doesn't disobey on the major points very often, but in trivial matters, she delights in confounding us. She is a princess, and she is a turd. And the prettier she gets, the wilder she gets, too. She'll need that when she's older, and if there's one thing I'm confident of, it's that she'll have it. The first time someone calls her a freak, I hope she'll remember that she was a beautiful freak. If someone calls her a monster, maybe she'll remember that she was a beloved monster.
Or more likely, she'll pop someone in the mouth. That works, too.
She's feeling better this evening, after kind of a rough, pukey morning. Her nickname today has been Barfbag, which she thinks is pretty funny. I'd call her Barfbag, and she'd laugh and say "Noooooooooo!"
Holy crap, I love this kid.
Rob,
ReplyDeleteI'm a long time reader and fan, having been with you and your various journal adventures long before the chubbin appeared (yes, I am that sad a person).
Your life has certainly taken some amazing turns, turns that might have defeated many of us, yet you have always met them head on, with determination and humor. You are an inspiration and I know a lot of folks are rooting for you. I hope that helps, at least a little.
As for the blog thing: I'm currently wrestling with that issue myself, after years of having on on-line journal. It does feel weird and unnatural. Maybe there's a support group or something.
We all love her too.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to read about the first time she pops someone in the mouth.
ReplyDeleteowning the words that others call us to hurt us is important and empowering.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the "dark" side! Hehe!
ReplyDeletewelcome to blogger.. you know you can use blogger to power your journal on your own site - so you don't have to use their templates and look at google ads.
ReplyDelete:)
This Blog rocks as much as Darn-Tootin does! I can't help but notice a different voice here and it makes me wonder if I should start my own Blogger Blog. Shame on you, promoter of all things trendy!
ReplyDeleteGlad to see more frequent Rob and Schuyler too! Hope the Chubbin is less pukey today and perhaps you and Julie can dodge the germs!
Hey Rob,
ReplyDeleteI used to sing that song to my kids. It is a favorite.
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ReplyDeleteThis may be the best thing you have ever written.
ReplyDeleteI smiled to read that, everytime I hear the Beloved Monster song I think of you and Schuyler but "Beautiful Freak" is always the song one of my friends sings to me (he also calls me that in public and there's not a plethora of Eels fans here heh) I'm honored to share it with Schuyler ;)
ReplyDeleteYour beautiful freak has beautiful parents. A perfect match.
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I were talking the other day about the fact that he thinks he teases the Diva too much (favorite "you smell like farts!").
I tried to explain that she will get tesed a lot in school, because EVERYONE does, even pretty princesses. And if we shelter her, she won't understand it, but if her formative experiences with teasing come from a safe, loving place, she'll be better equipped to handle it. I hope he considers that.
Hey, Rob -
ReplyDeleteThanks for introducing this middle-aged greyhaired old gal to the music of the Eels and 'My Beloved Monster' -- I just downloaded a few versions plus the Beautiful Freak album to my iTunes account.
O dear, now I'm beginning to hear the siren call of The Plum...where will it all end?
Harriet in NYC
I love this... I think u are on the right track... we call my child Punk, short for punky munky, and sometimes skunky munky
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